Seattle minus the insomnia (and Portland too)

Happy springtime one and all.
Life is pretty sweet at the moment (as always when you are travelling and not working) and this post comes from the very spring like San Francisco and to be exact the front room with a view of my good friend Miss Rachael Moore - who I am now spending time with in my sixth country after meeting on the night train from Mumbai to Goa back in Nov 2010.

We have now been in the USA for 10 days and I like this country a lot - a big surprise for me and for those of you who know me best although immigration had nothing to do with my positive experiences to date.
We took the overland route into the US on the Greyhound from Vancouver and before we could even attempt to pass through immigration we were kept waiting for an hour on the bus because it was lunch time; therefore no staff present to process us! I expect that sort of deal in India or Thailand but not this sort of tardiness from the world superpower.
When we did finally disembark we found ourselves near to the front of the queue - but the bus was left waiting for us by the end of the process.
From the outset I got the feeling that the immigration officer wasn't completely on my side - which I know is part of their job but I think the whole 9/11 thing still bears far too much precedent to proceedings and "9/11" did come into our dialogue.
An example of how the exchange took place is as follows:
Immigration: "How long are you staying in the USA"
Me: "3 to 4 weeks"
Imm: Do you have a job to fund your stay?"
Me: "No, I quit to travel"
Imm: "Well, how are you funding this trip then?"
Me: "I worked to pay for it"
Imm: "You said you didn't have a job"
Me: "I don't, I worked to save up to travel and then I quit"

Each one of my answers seemed to result in more questions and me heading further towards being denied entry and I really began to get worried once Arancha and my immigration officers got together to confer. At one point Arancha's asked the other if he was going to let me in; his response was "Hmm, I haven't decided yet".
Eventually he did back down and agreed to let us in but only after giving me earache about backpackers not usually being allowed access as they were a security risk and more than likely going to go AWOL in the US and try to stay as illegal aliens unlike Sting.
It's all good fun!!

By late afternoon we had arrived into our first American city, Seattle. We had already sorted out some accommodation but upon our approach to the city centre we reviewed our choice and decided that it was too far out of the downtown area so we needed to rethink.
So with that in mind we literally got off the bus, headed into the nearest Starbucks, got online and found a deal on Hotwire.com. For an extra $10 a night we managed to bag ourselves a room including its own siting room in a lovely boutique hotel next to the infamous Seattle Space Needle.
All that was left to do that day was to eat and fortunately our hotel was located in a great area of bars and restaurants.
I can't say that I ever thought that I would have a Mexican enchilada smothered in chocolate chilli sauce but let me tell you; it's a winner.

We headed downtown the next morning to see the sights and our first impression of Seattle was of the sheer number of homeless and drug fuelled bums that littered the streets. We have since seen that this is a nation wide problem with the States. Now I have seen real poverty and on a wide scale in parts of Asia but never have I seen such numbers of complete loony tune individuals that really need some help and support on the streets of the country that promotes itself as the land of the reachable dream and saviour of everybody else.
When I say these people were mentalists I clarify this statement by saying that we saw people in full on conversations with themselves, a woman in her seventies doing a drug deal with a girl in her twenties at the bus stop and a guy prancing around in front of a reflective window with his trousers pulled down so he could watch his arse jiggle about - there were office workers behind this reflective glass.
But I digress. So the first touristy thing that we did was to visit the Pike Street Public Market - home to the infamous Pike St fish throwers and the world's first Starbucks Coffee. To say that Seattle is proud of their Starbucks is an understatement; try 1 store on every block corner for size.
As for the fish throwers the deal is that once a punter purchases a fish the fishmongers throw the said fish across the stall to the pleasure of the snap happy tourists (us).

Part of the excitement of venturing into the States was for the food and to date it has not been a disappointment. Venturing into one supermarket I have never seen food displayed in such an attractive and simply mouth watering way plus the sheer volume and variety of goods on offer combined with the fact that the price of living in the US is stupidly low and it all tastes so f*cking good I can understand why obesity is a problem.

Our own reasons for exploring the subject of food were to partake in a Man vs Food challenge along the way, or at least dine at the establishments features in that particular city's episode.
For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, Man vs Food is a tv programme where the name pretty much tells you all you need to know. In each episode the presenter will take you around the legendary eateries of a particular American city / town with an eating challenge of mass proportions being the culmination.
By the way the presenter is a Spurs fan and he was featured in a pre match video at the ground taking a stadium tour and breaking down into tears when he saw the pitch - crazy Americans!

The great thing about technology these days is that you can Google Map Man vs Food restaurants in your chosen city and it will all be there for you in an instant. The internet was invented purely for this reason.
Man vs Food restaurant number 1 of the American west coast tour was The Crab Pot - a restaurant famous for its Sea Feasts - a tub full of sea food steamed to perfection and then literally poured out over the table. The diners are given a  bib to eat their feast with.
Unfortunately I am not the biggest seafood fan so we didn't partake in the signature dish, plus it wasn't exactly in the backpacker price range but we still devoured an entire Dungeness Crab and Calamari and were able to tick off the first restaurant.

We felt as though we had let ourselves down a little by not having the Sea Feast so the next day we ensured that we did the M vs F properly.
Man vs Food restaurant number 2 was Beth's Café; a greasy spoon located a good 30 mins north of the city (we are dedicated to the cause) and known for its 12 egg omelettes.
I can assure you that attempting to finish a 12 egg omelette accompanied with a bed of all you can eat hash browns and 4 slices of toast is no mean feat; and we shared it! We decided to have American cheese, ham and jalapenos as our filling and whilst we waited we were given crayons and paper to draw pictures with to add to the rest that decorated the walls.
We were a little taken aback when the omelette was placed before us; it was massive. I expected shredded ham like something back home but this bad boy contained sliced up ham chunks from a sausage - it was a beast!
We got our heads down and ate - I reckon I got through 7.5 eggs and Arancha the remaining 4.5 - too much. We ate at approx.11pm and I could only manage a small meal by 9pm - it stuffed me.
Tick number 2.

For our final day in Seattle we just bummed about in our glorious room which I forgot to mention had a rocking chair! As the sun set on the day we noticed that the light was the best it had been since we had arrived so we rushed out and climbed to the top of the hill next to which we were located. From there we had the perfect view of a) the sun setting behind the Rocky Mountains to west and b) the last of the failing light spreading across the skyline of Seattle; a skyline that was so stereotypically American - huge glass skyscrapers bunched together with the Seattle Space Needle in the foreground looking every part of its 51 years but lit in a way that perfectly gave off that shiny metallic futuristic look that was synonymous of the exciting pictures you would associate with the USA back in the sixties.

Our next port of call was Portland, The Rose City. The Greyhound would again be our chariot but this time we had Van the bus driver (how ironic). Van introduced himself to us all with a southern drawl (think male Dolly Parton) and delivered all sorts of amusing ditties in between losing his line of thought and having the odd word with a passing driver or himself.
I have never known the use of cannabis to be as prevalent as it is here in North America (US and Canada) and it is in fact legal in the state of Washington (Seattle) for medical use. I think a few people on our bus must've had had bad backs because you could certainly smell it and this did not pass Van by. As we approached a service station he came onto the tannoy to announce that there would be a small window of opportunity to gets some food and "For all of you who have the munchies and I think there are a few of you this is the place to get your burgers, fries and cherry pies".
It sounded so American, we loved it.

We arrived into Portland just after midday and I doubt I have yet to come across a city that is so easy to navigate around. The city itself is split into 4 quadrants which are unofficially Downtown, University, The Young Hipster and The Edgy Indie sections. The bus arrived into Downtown and it was simply a case of jumping onto the electric tram which passed through the entire length of downtown and dropped us into the university area in a mere 15 minutes.
We ventured out to explore the city and immediately felt at ease in a city that emanates a complete openness and relaxed vibe. There were all sorts of life congregated together on the streets milling around the street markets and enjoying the festivities of the complete over the top St Patrick's Day celebrations. The architecture of the city was a perfectly combined mix of old historical builds meets new modern shiny structures and the old town where the major drinking takes place was probably more full of edgy young alternative types as opposed to image conscious twenty-somethings; being both in my thirties and scruffy, I was at home in the crowd.
The north-west of the US is also birthplace to a lot of good music (depending on your taste) with such names as Nirvana, Foo Fighters and Jimi Hendrix hailing from Seattle and that influence had spread south into the state of Oregon and the city of Portland.

As mentioned, it was St Pat's weekend and the town was awash with green and live music. There is not much more to tell of this day except that we enjoyed the live music and Irish dancing and found a pub that sold a pint of Guinness and Gin & Tonic for $6 (£4) and had pub game classics such as PacMan and wooden bowls for 25 cents (17p)!

The Sunday was spent doing the sights of which there weren't that many - Portland is really more of a 'take it easy and just chill' type of place as this list testifies:
1) Powell's City of Books - the world's largest book store covering an entire city block and storing over 1 million titles
2) Lunch from one of the many street vendors - every type of cuisine, cheap and scrumptious (yes I did just type scrumptious)
3) Portland Central Library - the building itself felt very palatial with high ceilings, spiral staircases, chandeliers and oil paintings and just to top it off there was a live recital from an orchestral quartet which was simply delightful, oh yes
4) Checking out the rest of the city such as the Courthouse and Federal Bank

Our final day though was the day that counted - Man vs Food Restaurant number 3.
We had attempted to visit Voodoo Doughnuts on both the Saturday and Sunday but the queue to get in honestly stretched around the block. I cannot imagine what this gaff is taking in considering that the place is open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
Even at 11am on a Monday morning when the population of Portland should be at work or school there was still a queue but it was doable.
Voodoo Doughnuts is a fat persons nirvana and a chunky person's wet dream - a choice of 60 different doughnuts all on display in revolving glass cases and each one less than $2 each.

Now it would be unfair of us just to taste 1 or 2 because then we wouldn't be able to give you a fair opinion of the joint so we took the calorie hit and ordered 6; they were:
1) Portland Cream
Raised yeast doughnut filled with Bavarian cream. Topped with chocolate and two eyeballs, representing the vision of our great city
2) Triple chocolate penetration
Chocolate cake doughnut with chocolate frosting and coco-puffs
3) Marshall Matters
Plain cake doughnut with vanilla frosting and mini M & M's
4) Tangfastic
Plain cake doughnut with vanilla frosting, tang and three marshmallows
5) Voodoo Doll 
Raised yeast doughnut filled with raspberry jelly topped with chocolate frosting and a pretzel stake
6) Bacon Maple Bar 
Raised yeast doughnut with maple frosting and bacon on top

Now I can tell you that they were all good but the Bacon Maple Bar was a revelation, the salty bacon mixed with the sweet doughnut was perfect.
No matter how hard we tried we couldn't make all 6 disappear in one sitting so we were able to take the doughnuts away in the signature pink voodoo box that declares "All good things come in pink boxes". Amen brother Voodoo!!
The rest of the day was idled away looking around the artistic quarter and observing statues of Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt whose nickname unbeknown to me was Rough Rider - hello sailor!

I hadn't realised until I had updated my FB status that we were in Portland that a travel friend of mine who I had met in a bar in southern India and had spent a couple of days with actually lived in Portland so it was a very pleasant and welcome surprise that she had made contact and we had arranged to meet that evening.
We met in a downtown bar and then via a great move on Alicia's part to whisk us over to the other side of the river to a diner specialising in chicken wings we spent a great evening catching up on travel stories as well as learning more about the city and country that we were sat in.
Alicia, as iterated at the time, once we finally settle in a chosen country you are cordially invited to stay with us!

And with that meeting with travel buddy number 2 we reached an end to our time in Portland and the US North West. Now it was time for the sexy stuff - San Francisco, Las Vegas and Los Angeles but that will have to wait until the next post.
I think the next post will be worth reading based upon my time so far in San Fran and only if you read it for our flight there and being in the middle of an enthusiastic American crowd with nowhere to escape to.

Canada; gone but not forgotten

Howdy partners, I am now in the US of A writing from the very rainy city of Seattle.

Country number 1 has come and gone and it passed me by in a blur of snow and maple syrup.

So let's recap on the final few weeks of our time in Canada.
It goes without saying that there were more days spent on the slopes testing ourselves amongst the moguls and the jumps and for those of you who haven't yet seen our fabulous success with those aforementioned snow skills then click on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8vd04U-3Y0

We were now at the weekend of Feb 16th and this was a Canadian public holiday meaning 'Family Weekend' in Banff ie. shitloads of tourists and snotty nosed kids getting in the way. Fortunately for us there was not one available hotel, B&B or hostel room in the whole town so we were forced to relocate to nearby Canmore for the Saturday night. It had been quite a while since I had been on a decent Leo Sayer (all dayer) so for me Canmore would be the perfect opportunity to get on it. After a short 20min bus ride between towns, checking into our hostel and then a wasted hour whilst AJ looked around the shops we hit our first pub of the day at about 3pm.
The bar was full of interesting locals, some of which made themselves known to us such as an ex-pat from the UK who had been living here for some 30 years and no longer keeps in contact with his family because "why should I visit them in the UK if they can't be bothered to come and visit me?" Once he had downed yet another beer off he went to his night job at the liquor store! Hmm, I reckon some of the stock may disappear from time to time.

In the early evening we slid from our bar stools and made our way down to the Drake Inn and this is where the real characters were to be found.
We were quite content to sit there and people watch but it turned out that we had been the ones under the microscope. A young twenty-something girl approached us from behind and declared that she thought we were such a cute couple and that is was great. As I turned to face her she looked a little perplexed and it soon became apparent that yes, she thought we were a cute couple, but a cute lesbian couple. Obviously we found this funny and it has not been the first time that I have been mistaken for a girl because of the hair but I am now thinking that maybe I should trim the locks as according to someone else in the Drake Inn it wasn't surprising that I was mistaken for a girl as I did have a very unique look! Still not sure if that was an insult.

It turned out that this young girl was herself a lezza and she introduced us to her ex, a fifty-something real estate millionaire who even though had been dumped by the pretty young girl still insisted on being around to 'look after' her once she had had too much to drink. Hmmmm, sounds like date rape without the drugs.
Later on that evening a complete random stumbled over to Arancha who was sitting on a bar stool and she plonked her ample handbag onto AJ's lap and asked her to hold it whilst she sorted through it. This woman was completely bonkers and ranged from touching and stroking Arancha's face to showing us photos of her boyfriend's arse and photos of her sons in a stoned state who she had been to jail for, but was so very proud of them! WTF.

We awoke on Sunday morning to the perfect winter scene and the snow did not stop falling for the entire day but as it was still public holiday we would need to wait until the Tuesday to enjoy the freshly fallen powder.
When we did get back to the slopes it was a nice to change to find ourselves on the yet to be explored Norquay mountain. The conditions were not the best as there had been limited snowfall on this side of the valley which meant that we were in for an icy time on the lower slopes leaving us with no alternative but to finally test ourselves on double black diamond runs - those allotted for experts.
Standing at the top of these slopes and looking down unable to see the bottom because they seemed to bend over themselves is very daunting especially as you have to carve a path down through moguls that are 2 to 3 feet tall but carve our way down we did and with some relief when we finally arrived at the base of the mountain. There was a real sense of achievement once we had completed the once untouchable double diamond run knowing that there was no longer any part of any ski mountain that we could not attempt (apart from those hardcore runs where personal avalanche alarms are required), so we spent the afternoon doing the same runs with each one becoming that little bit easier

For the rest of that week we continued to push the boundaries of our snow capabilities as we tackled numerous parts of the mountain that we didn't believe possible at first, many of which were practically uninhabited because the majority chose to ski / board the standard runs. To me it felt as though we were now really skiing and having daily adventures that would long live in the traveling memory. The only problem with launching yourself down a slope that feels vertical in its tangent or weaving in and out of tall and sturdy pine trees whilst on a 70 degree downhill is that the percentage of time spent on your back, arse or sprawled out on your front is increased dramatically, none more so than when I lost it on an ungraded slope and began to slide uncontrollably and headfirst down the mountain towards a worried looking Arancha who was perched on the edge of the precipice (not quite but it felt like it). Somehow I did manage to come to a stop and then completely knackered myself by scrambling back up to collect a ski that was left behind.
Fun though!

We were back around to Saturday and that meant 2 days off the slopes away from the weekend crowds.
After a lazy morning we took a gentle stroll out of the town to the Banff Springs Hotel, a sister hotel to the Chateau Lake Louise mentioned in a previous post. Basically it was the dog's ball-bags of a hotel with a view across the mountains and wilderness to match.
A superb fish and chip lunch was followed up by a few drinks and a some pool back in Banff. The resulting tipsiness led to Arancha making a 10pm Canadian time call to her sister in Australia (4pm the next day local time) and singing Lionel Richie's "Hello, is it me you're looking for..." as the receiver was picked up.
We had no idea who the groggy sounding guy was on the other end of the line but it seems that AJ entered the UK dialling code and not the Australian one. Result: AJ drunkenly singing to a random bloke at 5am UK time, and it was a Sunday morning. Poor man.

The following Wednesday was Arancha's birthday. I won't say how she was but I can say that she is getting on!
We celebrated by not taking a packed lunch up onto the mountain! Woo hoo.
We continued the celebrations by not having a Lean Cuisine microwavable meal for dinner. F*ck yeah!
Instead I took her out for dinner to the Grizzly Fondue Restaurant and we indulged ourselves in a 4 course meal and a bottle of wine. It's weird, when you are working you take eating out for granted but it is strange how quickly it all changes once you are a bum. This was a real treat for us and for that reason we probably enjoyed it all the more.
Course 1 - salad, who cares
Course 2 - cheese fondue with fresh garlic and bread
Course 3 - I had the 'Hunter' fondue - Venison, Buffalo and Wild Boar
                 AJ had the seafood fondue - Lobster, Prawn and Scallops
As always we shared our food so that we got to try it all
Course 4 - chocolate fondue with fresh fruit for dipping

All in all a great meal and it was topped off by 2 mini birthday cheesecakes and candles back in the hotel room. Before you think that we are pigs we ate the cakes the following day!

Friday March 1st was our last ski day in Banff after 6 great weeks but it was now definitely time for us to move on; we were becoming stagnant.
Our last day on the slopes was such good fun. The snow was falling like I have never seen before which meant bad visibility so we were forced to spend our day cutting and carving in and out of a brilliant tree route.
It snowed so heavily that day that 41cm fell over a 24 hour period. Trust that to be our last day so that we couldn't reap the benefits of such a snow dump!

Our final day in Banff was just an exercise in time wasting before we boarded the 8:30pm Greyhound journey from hell - a completely full 14 hour drive throughout the night to Vancouver. We of course had the seats with the limited leg room, even for 5 footers like ourselves and I reckon I got between 3 - 4 hours of broken sleep; which in the grand scheme of things isn't all that bad when you don't exactly have to get up for work any time soon.

We arrived mid morning and fortunately the hostel was only a 5 min walk from the station; unfortunately it was a complete shithole but it would have to do.
We moseyed around the city all day and I have to say that on first impressions Vancouver has it all. The city itself has a real look and feel of Melbourne combined with Hong Kong (due to its harbour but of course without the balmy climate), it is based over numerous pockets of land with the Pacific Ocean gently lapping up against the numerous beaches, national parklands and harbours with the all important Rocky Mountains up close and personal to the north and east of the city providing great ski access.

We stood around watching the sea planes coming into and out of the harbour and visited Gastown, the founding area of Vancouver. We had already noted that Canada's homeless population seemed to be here in this one city, and that is not surprising when you consider that Vancouver is one of the country's most temperate cities during the harsh winters; however we did not plan on walking into the middle of what seemed to be a homeless only market. They were literally haggling for a dollar over this piece of shit or that piece of tat and I have no idea where they get it from but they all seemed to be wasted on a number of substances.
I don't know why I found it so funny but I heard one guy asked how he was and in one sentence he replied; "..don't know, erm good, er, not bad." Clearly covering all the bases!
The only other thing worth mentioning about that day was walking around the Chinese garden and a bird dropping a large piece of soggy bread into my hair which got all tangled - yuk.

This particular visit to Vancouver was only a stop over and the next morning we boarded yet another Greyhound bus and made our way to the infamous ski destination of Whistler Village. If the drive from Banff to Jasper is one of the top 5 in the world then the drive from Vancouver to Whistler must also be in the top 5 or least the top 10. The coastal road along the Pacific Ocean dotted with pine covered islands with the snowy Rocky mountains rising up in the distance was spectacular.
We only got around to booking our accommodation in Whistler 5 minutes before we boarded the bus and it worked out perfectly for us. For 4 nights we stayed in the woods in a Yurt, a portable, bent wood-framed dwelling structure traditionally used by nomads in the steppes of Central Asia. Essentially it looked like a circular tepee with the added bonus of a perspex roof top allowing views of the nightly skies. Now a tent in the snowy woods does not sound like the best way to spend a few days but it was pure luxury as far as we were concerned. There was ample heating, a sofa, dining table and the most comfortable bed to date. Also due to its location it is quite common in the summer months to share the path with brown and black bears which would be a sight to behold.

Whistler itself is a snow sports lover's heaven, so much so that you can ski down the mountain for 2,000 metres and literally step off of the snow straight onto the village high street. The village is very alpine European in style and has that same feel to it as a ski town in Austria - especially when it comes to the après ski!
Whistler was also the location for some of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games and based on what we saw I can only imagine what the atmosphere would've been like during that time.

For the next 2 days we enjoyed the delights of the twin mountains. Day 1 was spent on Blackcomb Mountain and the sheer depth of snow made it very difficult for me to get down with any grace. A sign of how confident we were now getting was that for our very first run on an unfamiliar mountain we got off at the very top and then hiked up a little further so that we could ski the Blackcomb Glacier and then 10.5km back down to the start - what a run!!
The next day we explored Whistler Mountain but only after we took the world record breaking Peak2Peak cable car that links the 2 mountains and anybody with a fear of heights would not enjoy this ride.
Whistler Mountain had some of the best tree runs that I have ever been on but it was also a pleasure to ski the Olympic run from peak to base.

Whilst in Whistler we also had the seriously good fortune to stumble right into the path of the first moose to be spotted in the village in a number of years; an impressively large beast.

Before we knew it our ski time had officially come to an end and we were back in Vancouver for a final few days in Canada.
There was so much to do in Vancouver that we were spoilt for choice but we did as follows:

• Day 1 - walk over to the public market on the arty Granville Island - there we had possibly the best fish and chips ever, watched a seal frolic in the harbour and bought some fresh produce so that we could finally have some healthy dinners. From there we took a gentle 2 hour walk back home along the waters edge in the setting early spring sun
• Day 2 - we hired bicycles and rode around the perimeter of Stanley Park, situated to the NW of the city centre looking out over the Pacific Ocean before cycling through the interior to explore the rainforests within. We also explored Beaver Lake but unfortunately the actual beavers were sleeping the day away in the huge lodge situated in the middle of the lake. Still, the local turtles were visible basking in the afternoon sun as well as a number of eagles circling high above us 
• Day 3 - we met up with a Canadian friend, Francoise whom I had met when I was in Nepal in Dec 2010. She was someone that I met on my first trek in the Himalayas and who I travelled around the Chitwan National Park with to hunt (purely to view) rhino's. It was really nice to catch up with someone that I had met in another time and place in another completely random location

I must also mention one particular guy who was staying with us at our hostel. For those of you who read my blog from my previous worldly trip and my time at Mt Everest will recall a chance meeting with an inspirational guy who was determined to become the first cyclist to make it to the top of said mountain.
Well Demche, a Macedonian born Canadian could have ben his older brother. This 'mature' traveller was just ending his 6 month cycling trip that took him through the mountains of Pakistan, through western and central China, across to Hawaii where he spent among other things 45 days camping on the side of a mountain because he could and then finally around western Canada. This guy had some real stories to tell, such as sliding uncontrollably down a glacier to certain death before he remembered to spread his body out to control and stop his slide before slowly but surely edging along to the safety of some more rigid rocks. As far as I am concerned he should be writing the blog and it is always good to see that no matter what age you are you can keep doing it!

And there we are, just 4 days short of 2 months in Canada was at an end. I managed to complete 26 days of skiing, skied in 5 different locations, saw glaciers, ice fields, walked through an ice canyon, saw coyotes, elk, moose and Muse in concert but what I didn't get to see was the northern lights, any species of bear or wolf or a bleeding maple leaf - so I guess I will have to come back.
Canada is country that has it all for lovers of the outdoors and nature at its most raw and beautiful and we only saw the south western quarter of the world's second largest country. There is so much left to explore but it must wait for the foreseeable future as we are heading south and south some more!

I will leave you with some final footage of our time in the snow although it isn't quite as entertaining as the one above, laters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMH86vLJJuY&feature=youtu.be





 

Waterslides to the rescue

Just a quick update on recent activities from Canada which will hopefully relieve me from having to write essay long posts from now on.

All in all we haven't really been up to a lot and I do not anticipate that I will have an awful lot to share with you all over my remaining month in this country. Don't get me wrong, we are having a great time but there is only so much that I can tell you about our days skiing / snowboarding.

We are now back in our base of Banff after a week long escapade through 3 different Canadian cities.
First was a one night trip to Calgary to see Muse at the city's ice hockey stadium. We decided to stay in the Calgary YHA and I have to say that as a hostel it was one of the best that I have been to, in part because of the ability to make your own pancakes for brekkie. As for the shared dorm it wasn't the best, full of blokes, one who got up and went to work at 4am, one who wore an all in one long-john set akin to a baby grow without any underwear so you could see his penis protruding out of the front and another guy who saw that the room was full and kept repeating the same sentence of "it is going to be interesting in the morning when we all try to get ready" to nobody in particular.

As for the gig itself it was a little so so. Muse were excellent as they always are but you also need the crowd to create that electric atmosphere which they did in London at the O2 but in this case it didn't happen. Seriously, how can you go to a rock concert and sit in your seat throughout the entire thing? Fortunately the stadium wasn't full so we were able to pick and choose where we fancied sitting in order to get the best view possible as well as our own space.
In my humble opinion I would say part of the problem was that the bars closed at 9pm!! The gig only started at 8:15pm and went on until 10:30pm. I f*cking hate the fun police and nanny states.

Tuesday 5th Feb saw us head 3.5 hours north to the city of Edmonton and we were once again reminded of how bloody nice Canadians actually are. We were staying at another YHA located a few blocks south of the city centre and the only way to get there would be on the local bus. We had no change and only large notes but the bus driver told us that this would not be an issue and the ride was on him. For the rest of the journey he chatted to (up) Arancha and gave her all of the local intel that we would need for our stay.
This would not be our only gesture of good will from a Canadian bus driver and we were to receive a discounted ride upon our return to the city just a few days later with a "Welcome to Canada and enjoy your stay!"
In the end I purposely got onto the bus with only notes so that we make a saving - the backpacker way.
You would never get this sort of generosity or simple personable service in the UK - they are all miserable moaning b*stards.

Edmonton was to be another one night stop over and we used the free evening to go to the cinema to finally see 'The Life of Pi'.
With the life sized superhero statues adorning the entire place the actual cinema itself was one of the best that I have been to but this isn't surprising when you consider its location, the West Edmonton Mall. The WEM was once the proud owner of the claim to being largest mall in the world and I have never seen a place like it. Now I hate shopping but this gaff had it all:

• The standard shops and food halls
• The multiplex cinema
• A comedy club and nightclub
• An aquarium complete with twice daily sea lion shows (a bit wrong that they live indoors 24/7 but at least the dolphins are no longer there!)
• Galaxyland - the world's largest indoor amusement park
• An ice rink
• Mini golf
• Ropes quest - a multi levelled assault course although on the website it really looks like it says 'Rapes quest' which would send this mall into another stratosphere
• World Waterpark - the world's largest indoor waterpark (more on this particular one later)
• The Santa Maria - an exact replica of Christopher Columbus' ship that he discovered the Americas in!
• and a hotel because one day is clearly not enough

Remember, this is all indoors inside a mall. What a place!

Wednesday through to Friday was a trip to Fort McMurray, a town in the middle of nowhere, 5 hours north of Edmonton and supposedly the location of where I would be declared the best birthday present buyer in the world.
It is Arancha's birthday later this month and my reason for taking her to Fort Mc was that this town is one of the prime locations in Canada to view the Northern Lights / Aurora Borealis.
We travelled up to Fort Mc on possibly the best coach ever invented. Large leather seats with ample leg room (because we both need it), a fridge serving free beverages (hot and cold) and TV's showing movies for the duration of the journey.

As this was to be my present for AJ I had the foresight to pre-book a proper hotel whilst I was still working in London for our 2 night stay as I didn't think that a hostel would cut it. I also didn't just book any old room, I booked the Honeymoon Suite, hot tub and all!
The room was huge, a king size bed, a lounge area, a massive bathroom holding a shower / steam room and of course the said hot tub.
Unfortunately, the unveiling of the room to AJ was the highlight of this particular trip (tied equally with the snowball fight that we had and Arancha slipped on the ice and fell into the road). For 2 straight days all we experienced was a combination of snow showers or thick cloudy grey skies. To say that I was gutted was an understatement, yes the room was great and the Port and wine that we bought flowed effortlessly down our throats but we were here to see the northern lights and on this front we had drawn a big fat blank.
You can't imagine how frustrating it is to dream that you are looking up in awe at the lights and then wake from the dream to rush over to the window to see if the skies have cleared. This happened on an hourly basis!
I am now also left with a bit of a conundrum - do I now have to buy AJ something else for her b'day as this gift didn't exactly deliver? .

As if this wasn't all disappointing enough we awoke on the final morning to find that part of the bathroom ceiling in the supposed premier room of the hotel had caved in overnight leaving the sink and floor covered in debris.
Now I am not a person that likes to make a fuss and complain about things (yeah right, blame my mum) but given that my trip here had been a somewhat frustrating time I was quite happy to head to front desk to express my displeasure at such an event.
We were told to go to breakfast and that it would be 'sorted' by the time that we returned.
An offer of a 25% reduction to the final night's bill was the solution and with one quick look at the receipt I shook on this and happily trotted off.
Instead of applying a 25% reduction what they had actually done was take the full 2 day bill (restaurant food and drinks), calculate 25% of this and present that as the final amount to pay. Excellent, a 75% reduction on the entire bill.

With heavy hearts we left Fort McMurray on the Friday and yes it was a glorious sunny day. Seriously, what have I done to send my karma so off kilter?
Fort McMurray is quite a wealthy town due to its locality to the Canadian oil fields. Whilst waiting for the coach to arrive I stood outside in the relative warmth and couldn't help but overhear a roughneck from the oil fields having a quite heated phone conversation. The reason that I mention this is that this is the first time that I have heard a line from a nursery rhyme incorporated into a rant such as this:
"He is a f*cking ........., I sang a song of sixpence to cover his ass...."

It got me thinking about other rhymes that you could incorporate into the mix when having a go:

• "Yeah Jimmy Savile, the paedo, like Georgie Porgie he kissed the girls and made them cry"
• "Yeah Jimmy Savile was like the old woman who lived in a shoe, he had so many children he didn't know what to do"

You get the idea.

We returned to Edmonton for a couple of nights as we had some very important unfinished business to attend to before eventually heading back to Banff and the skiing.
The business I refer to is stripping off into my speedos and hitting the world's largest indoor waterpark. What better way to get over the disappointment of the Northern darkness?

It was immense. Below is the description of some of the entertainment on offer:

This tropical paradise boasts the world's largest indoor wave pool and tallest indoor permanent bungee tower, as well as more than 17 unique waterslides and play features.
World Waterpark’s three new thrill slides feature an electronic launch system. Sliders step into a glass capsule and the floor drops from beneath them, sending them on their journey.
Cyclone, the first waterslide of its kind in Canada offers both the unexpected drop plus a vertical loop. After the floor releases from beneath them, a slider plummets 17 metres straight down, as fast as 60 km / h, before arching upward into a near-vertical loop and blazing out into a splashdown lane.
The two Sky Screamer Extreme slides both have the electronic launch system, but one of the slides is enclosed from start to finish while the other is open. Standing above the park at 23.47 metres, the Sky Screamer Extreme slides are built for speed and can carry sliders as fast as 60 km / h.

I can tell you now that as you are stood inside the capsule trying to look calm and collected in front of everybody and the countdown begins "3...2....1..." and then before you know it the floor has dropped away and your sphincter is in your mouth as you rush downwards not knowing where you are and shouting out every expletive you can muster amongst the scream was brilliant and as soon as we had reached the bottom, gotten over the sting of the water on our quickly reddening skin we were climbing the steps back up to the summit.
In my opinion, simply the perfect way to spend a Saturday evening. (if you aren't up for a drink that is)

And that was that.
After a week away from the slopes it is nice to be back given that in just over 2.5 weeks we will be leaving here for good and heading west. The snow is good and we have now moved onto building jumps in the more desolate areas of the mountains where you can possibly avoid people for the entire day. The thing about these areas is that the snow can also be 3 - 4 feet deep so there is a lot of cushioning for many bad landings. The only risk is of losing AJ completely in such high snow drifts.
My 2 jumps today were as follows:

1. Made the jump, got the air, landed skis pointed down, lost one ski and did a forward roll with the other still attached - the result; a slight winding and headache
2. Made the jump, got the air, landed on my front with my momentum allowing the legs and skis to attempt to pierce the back of my head in a sort of scorpion like manoeuvre - the result; a crack in the back but not unwelcome

Arancha's 2 jumps:

1. Made the jump, got the air, landed snowboard pointing down and stacked it - the result; a face full of snow
2. Lost track of the jump in the near white out conditions so slowed down so much that she slid up the ramp and slid down the other side - result; no respect from me!

The snow is continuing to fall so hopefully tomorrow's jumps will result in some decent YouTube footage as we didn't get today's shambles. However, we did capture my first attempt on this jump yesterday when I made some air (minimal) to then overshoot the landing and end up on my side submerged in a ditch.
Don't worry, this will be edited into the final cut.

Finally, I had my first taste of a Canadian born dish called Poutine yesterday. Basically, it is chips with gravy and cheese curds - nothing that new there but it is proper winter food and just what you need after a day on your arse trying to unsuccessfully land jumps.

Well that is all for now, I will be back in a few weeks once when all of the snow based debacles will be over and we will be on the verge of heading to country number 2; the USA.







  

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes….

What a pleasure it is to announce the resurrection of the blog meaning that once again I am back on the road.
I am currently sat in the Canadian ski town of Banff, located in the province of Alberta on the east side of the Rocky Mountains and today is a relatively mild -3 degrees.
So let’s get up to date shall we?

It already seems such a long time ago since I was in the UK let alone updating you on my activities as far back as November but let’s just run through it as quickly as possible with a few key highlights.

Paris: a wonderful weekend spent in the ‘capital of love’ although we were slightly removed from that sentiment being located in the red light district of Pigalle, but that’s how we roll!
We arrived on a wet and cold Friday evening at 11pm so there seemed little else to do but pop in to a local licensed café and sample the local vin rouge. My French may not be good but even a little secondary school level French goes a long way in Paris, especially for an Englishman, so we were always greeted with smiles and politeness.
Saturday was a proper tourist day:

- Place de la Concorde
- Musee du Louvre – to view some of the most world’s famous pieces of art, most of which were better than the Mona Lisa

- Notre Dame
- Eiffel Tower

- Arc De Triomphe – the views of Paris from the top were non-existent as the heavens opened and we were soaked

We certainly packed it all in before we got ourselves ready for our evening treat of a 3 course dinner riverboat cruise down the Seine River to view all of those sights again by night but from the luxury of a seat.

We were due to fly out late Sunday afternoon which gave us time to idly meander around Monmatre and the artists square, probably my favourite area in Paris.

The following weekend came around quickly enough and we were now in Toledo, a former capital of the Spanish Empire located 70km south of Madrid and a UNESCO World Heritage site. (I do love a UNESCO site!)

As far as I am concerned everybody should spend a weekend walking along the cobbled alleyways amongst the medieval buildings, cathedrals and churches that seem to have remained unchanged since the 1600 / 1700’s. As Toledo is a fortified city located on top of a hill and sealed off by its own city walls you really do feel away from it all.
All we did was eat well, sampling the local speciality of marzipan and drink as well as visit the infamous Jew Gate in honour of a quarter of my genes – well I had to really didn’t I?

Both of these weekends were an early birthday treat to myself but for my actual birthday Arancha took me out for dinner at Paramount restaurant, 32 floors above the centre of London and it definitely ranks as one of my top meals enjoyed in the city that I call home.

Before we knew it we were into December and that meant 2 things;

1) Soon we would once again escape normal life

2) Goodbye Latner (one of my best chums)

If I do say so myself I think Latner did pretty well with regards to leaving presents:

• Gifts from the ‘I love Leicester’ gift shop – I still can’t believe that place exists
• A pre-loaded digital photo frame of what’s important – family, mates and Jimmy Savile (big up to Sharon and Cheryl for the photos and the use of their home for the presentation and drinks – Cherry B and Snowballs – classy)
• Signed photos of LCFC legends ala Julian Joachim and Frank Sinclair
• A DVD of our 2011 Aussie road trip
• A LCFC shirt with a selection of his nicknames printed on the back
• A t-shirt with a mug shot of each and every one of us so that he can sleep with us next to him if he gets lonely on the other side of the world

As for the actual leaving do I do not remember a lot but I definitely remember more than Lat’s cousin Tyler who was smashed and ejected from the comedy club for consistently heckling the acts. Yes it got a little tiresome but to be honest he was far more entertaining than the supposed headline act who had a shocker.

Oddly enough on that same night next door there was a Lambert reunion of sorts for my auntie’s 60^th bday so given that I had not seen most of the family for 2 years I popped my head in to say hello to everyone and introduce them to Arancha as it would be at least another 2 years before I saw them again, if that.

Anyway, a good night was had by all (except by Tyler post 11pm) and it was goodbye Latner in Leicester.

Goodbye Latner full stop came on the following Monday as he came down to London to stay the night before heading over the airport to fly off to Sydney and the love of his life. I took him for the meat feasts of all meat feasts at Bodeans for a last supper and he thanked me by leaving a trademark Latner scent in my bathroom. Love you Lats.

It seemed like the opportunity to travel had been somewhat limited of late so December 7^th weekend was spent with Arancha’s aunty and uncle in Bordeaux. Michelle and Georges were superb hosts, their house was fantastic and Bordeaux itself is on the list of cities that I could live in.
This was a lazy weekend of a lot of sleep mixed with fine food and wine including a restaurant specialising in dishes constructed with cheese – very tasty but very sickly by the end.
I was also introduced (not literally) to perhaps the most self-sufficient prostitutes on the planet. Bordeaux’s pros all work out of their own campervans even equipping the interior driver lights with a red bulb – how fucking cool is that? Just drive your entire business around. Brilliant.

One other funny moment during this visit was when I went down with a sugar dip and started to feel really ropey. The result; a 70+ year old woman running up and down the hills of the wine region town of St Emillion to find some bread for a supposed fit and healthy 33 year old. Out of breath she returned 10 mins later with a full baguette of bread and I felt like a complete weakling. What must she have thought of me?

AJ is still abusing me about this now.     

My first Christmas at home in 3 years soon followed and it was a pleasure to see that the day was business as usual and exactly the same as it has been for the past 33 years of my life but with the welcome addition of Arancha to the Lambert family table.

Thanks for all of our pressies Suze and Pippin – spoilt once again!

I took dad out for a ‘couple’ of drinks on Boxing Day and 7 hours later we got home completely smashed – it was a fun day but I certainly felt it the next day.

29^th December and Arancha left me, the bitch. Luckily for her work was finished and so there was no need to hang around in London and spend her money when she could begin her adventure and spend it in Canada.
So for the next 3 weeks it was just me in the flat tidying up the loose ends and packing my life away for the second time in just over 2 years.         

NYE was a fun night at my old flat in Waterloo with my former housemate Marchie and his bride Shamila. It was a proper house party with some faces that I had not seen in quite a while and the added benefit of being able to leave the flat at 11:50pm to watch the London fireworks from the streets behind the London Eye as we all live so close to the centre.

On NYD I had to be on a 10pm train to Leicester to take my day to a LCFC football match and I can tell you that it was not pleasant. I was still drunk, the train was overcrowded due to a cancellation and the sun was shining right into my face for the entire journey. Fortunately it was worth it as Leicester won 6-1 in a thoroughly entertaining match but by the time I got back to London that evening I was knackered and was not looking forward to work the next day.
 

The next 10 days flew by as I caught up with mates to say goodbye, meet a new face (congrats Bennet and Bedir on Bella, probably the most content baby I have had the fortune to meet), move out of the flat and finish up at work.

Due to complications with the handover at work I was required to work up to the day before I flew (not ideal) but apart from the benefit of extra cash for the trip I also had the good fortune to stay in a 5 star hotel by St Paul’s Cathedral  and enjoy the room service. I had already moved out of my flat so if work needed me until the day before I flew then they needed to accommodate me!  
Work ended with my reputation as a self-employed contractor intact and it is fair to say that my first UK contract was a complete success so I was well chuffed.  

So that was that – London life was over once again. I jumped on a train and headed back to the Shire for a precious last few hours with the parents before I was up early the next morning to once again head back down to London to Gatwick Airport.
One thing for certain was that I was very happy to have an end to the London to Leicester to London travel.  
My last meal at home was mum’s roast dinner – what else would you want before you disappear for 18 months?
Then we were there again. It was at this same location on 9^th October 2010 that I said my uncomfortably emotional farewells to mum and dad as I embarked upon my first backpacking adventure beginning in Delhi, full of trepidation and nervous excitement, completely unsure of what lay ahead.
This time is couldn’t be more different. Yes it was emotional but we’ve all come a long way since that October day, we (I) can actually say we love each other to each other’s faces and be cool about it. There were probably a few more tears than the last time but it was controlled and mum still hasn’t dropped to the floor and wrapped her arms around my legs as I am forced to drag her along the floor as I make my way to the train.

As for my own feelings about what lay ahead? No worries, I can’t wait, it seems more normal to be living this way now than living in a flat and working in an office in London.

Plus this time I am not alone, I have Arancha for company, the one person who thinks exactly the way as I do (which is scary as we have some pretty fucked up thoughts that not everyone agrees are funny), so it is going to rock! 

Wednesday 16^th January 2013 and off I fly with the relative luxury of a 2 seat row to myself and enjoy movie time for the entire 8.5 hour flight.
Wednesday morning Leicester, Wednesday evening Calgary after a few probing questions from Canadian immigration such as:

• Q: What are you doing here? A: Traveling
• Q: Why are you here for so long in Canada (54 days)? A: Traveling
• Q: How long are you away for overall? A: Traveling for 18 months in total
• Q: You must have a good job if they let you take that long off? A: I quit, as I say, I am traveling
• Q: Are you planning to work in Canada? A: No, I am traveling
• Q: Are you here on your own? A: No, I am meeting my girlfriend
• Q: Is she is Canadian? A: No, she is Australian
• Q: What is she doing here? A: Traveling
• Q: How did you meet her? A: In Nepal, traveling

Seriously, I am here for 54 days and a standard tourist visa is 90 days – what is the big deal? Anyway, once I produced proof my travel insurance I was free to go; with a 6 month tourist visa!

Getting to downtown Calgary was as easy as peas and within 1 hour I was 2 blocks north of the city in a quaint B&B and reunited with my homie after 3 weeks apart. We popped out for a bite to eat and as to be expected at this time of year it was cold!!!
Going out for dinner was also my first introduction to the most annoying thing about Canada – Goods and Service Tax (GST)!
GST is the same as VAT except that the Canadian government doesn’t fleece everyone like the UK, but what pisses me off is that every price you see whether it be a food menu of clothing in a shop is excl GST. It gets me every time – I might buy a sandwich for $10 and have the note to pay for it but then the cash register rings with an increased value and this can vary depending on where you are in the country as there may well be a provincial tax on top of the GST.
Just put the actual price on the menu please then we all know where we stand!!
And don’t get me onto the dollar shop! A dollar plus GST is not a dollar.

We will leave tipping until the States as I am sure that it will piss me off more. As a backpacker I think I should have a concession card like an OAP bus pass that gives me exemption from tipping because I am an unemployed bum.

I had been up for quite a few hours so a comfy bed was all I needed to fall completely into a deep slumber and leave AJ to lovingly watch me sleep and listen to the snoring that she had so very missed.

Staying in a B&B meant that breakfast would be served for us at a time so desired by the paying guest so at 8:30pm sharp we sat down to freshly made eggs benedict and black coffee so strong that I was left with the Mohammed Ali’s. Now I like a good yarn as much as my dad but having the owner, Diana standing over us asking questions and us replying between mouthfuls and spitting food onto the table cloth was a bit much.
However, having only been on my travels for a little over 12 hours our very sketchy itinerary had already changed.  We had mentioned that after Canada we would travel overland down the west coast of the US to Mexico (hopefully the turban I plan to wear with my beard and backpack will be ok in the southern Republican states) and Diana was all over the proposed route with places that we must check out; so I am happy that she did hang around.

My only day in Calgary was literally a designated shopping day – buy the ski gear here or be ripped off in the ski towns.

To say that I wasn’t looking forward to it was an understatement but with AJ’s patience and Canada’s version of Sports Direct everything was bought in under 4 hours.

 To interject there is a new tv show being advertised on Canadian tv – who is the best taxidermist? The example shown was a chicken with a light bulb for a head and a fox looking at it wearing sunglasses! Ok.

I can’t say that I was that impressed with Calgary as a city, it didn’t really have a lot of charm and was a little run down but the frozen river running north of the centre that looked like a glacier was awesome and worth a few photos.

That evening we were at the bus station for my first journey on what is an institution for travellers in these parts, the Greyhound Bus, on my way to my new home for the majority of the next 2 months, Banff.

The next 3 days were all about the snow, the everlasting views across the vista of the Canadian Rocky Mountains from the top of my own mountain before the headlong rush and adrenaline buzz down the slopes to the bottom before heading back up to begin it all over again.

 Accommodation in places like Banff is very expensive so the majority of the time we find ourselves staying in hostels. Fortunately a private room is affordable especially as there would be 3 of us sharing once Bec (a mate of AJ’s from back home) was back from a work conference in Chicago.

Upon Bec’s return I noted earlier that having only spent a brief amount of time with her in Melbourne that my first real ‘quality’ time spent with her in our hostel room was me asking her about Chicago whilst I sat on the floor trimming my toe nails trying to ensure that they all went in the bin (I am going with 95%). Is that weird and little too comfortable?

Banff itself is a great little town full of shops, bars, clubs and restaurants even if it is overrun by young Aussies and Kiwis on work and travel visas – but seriously, where isn’t overrun by antipodeans?
It also seems that Christmas never ends in Canada as it is now early Feb and the trees and lights are still illuminating the snowy streets and many ice sculptures that adorn them, some of which are unbelievably intricate.
Throw in the frozen lakes full of ice skaters and hockey players and you have your archetypical Canadian postcard and I like it.

The reason that we are in Banff is that we bought season passes to ski on 3 separate areas of the Banff National Park and plan to be here throughout Jan, Feb and Mar:

• Sunshine Ski Resort – 107 ski trails set upon and within the alpine valleys of 3 adjoining mountains with a top elevation of 2,700 metres
• Lake Louise Ski Resort – 139 ski trails across 2 mountains
• Norquay Mountain – 33 runs

I have skied in Europe and Australia and I would say that I am a little better than intermediate but without the fear of attempting any run, as I can always get down even though it may not be graceful. However, the mountains here are the real deal and there are some seriously challenging slopes to get down that are much tougher than what I have previously faced.

The trails are rated:

• Green – Easier
• Blue – Intermediate
• Black – Most Difficult
• Double Black – Expert

To date we have been tackling everything up to the Black runs but until there is a serious dump of snow ie. Some cushioning, I will not be attempting the double blacks just yet.

However, as time goes on my skiing and AJ’s snowboarding is coming along very nicely as we grow in confidence and become more familiar with our favourite runs that can last anything up to 20 minutes down the mountain.

There is a great app available on the i-phone that monitors your days skiing and our average day consist of 20km – 25km distance covered and my top speed is 87kph / 54mph. I am determined to improve on this but I can assure you that it feels really fast when it is just you on a pair of skis! However, I don’t think I will get to the 111kph that a lad in one of our dorms achieved!

There is little point in me trying to describe the views and experience of the skiing and of Canada as a whole – Google images will show you what you need to see.  But you have to move with the times, so this trip and blog will include links to film footage so you can see a little more of what it is I am seeing.  
You can view it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORguPWGyOXg

All I can say is that is lives up to all that you imagine of Canada and the Rockies – snow, ice, glaciers, mountain peaks, thousands of pine trees and mile upon miles of wild country – a truly beautiful place to be spending my time.

 
Of course there have been a couple of boozy nights out but having had one particularly heavy night celebrating Australia Day with Arancha and Bec the next day’s skiing was a complete write off, so much so that we only got 2 hours of skiing in before we gave up falling on our arses through a combination of headaches, lack of coordination and lingering intoxication. I am not saying that booze and the snow do not go together, of course they do, but to get the most out of the experience and to improve our technical ability we will be limiting our nights out. Plus, I am 2 weeks into 18 months and I have already spent a shit load of cash – limiting the boozing is more about ensuring that I will have enough cash to last the distance.
Saying that, the nightlife is great here and the atmosphere on a Saturday night when the locals are about for the weekend makes me wish I had a few more dollars to spare.

Given that the girls had already spent a couple of weeks or so in Banff so on the Monday post my arrival we moved on to the town of Jasper for a bit of variation. Jasper is located in its own national park and is approximately 4 hours north of Banff.  
The drive to Jasper took us along the provincial Highway 93 which is ranked as one of the top 5 tourist drives in the whole world. For 4 hours we stared out of the window at the aforementioned wilderness, some of the 200 or so glaciers that dot the Canadian Rockies and huge snow cornices hanging precariously from the sides of the mountains which themselves were created by layer upon layer of sandstone that once formed the bed of an ancient ocean before being thrust up into the heavens as the Asian and American continental plates collided to create one of the world’s most iconic mountain ranges. As if this wasn’t all romantic enough as I finally began to relax and release the burdens of the corporate world it was topped off by Chuck the driver delivering his running commentary throughout the trip which was both factual and interesting. We covered the geology, nature, environment and wildlife elements of the region and I was enthralled.
A couple of beauts that I learnt were:

1. The Rockies form the continental divide of North America meaning that when it rains all the water landing on the east side will flow down into the rivers and ultimately end in the Atlantic Ocean and on the west side the Pacific Ocean
2. We drove past the Columbia Icefield, an icefield that sits astride the continental divide and feeds 8 major glaciers. This icefield covers 325 square kilometres and can be as thick as 1,200 feet in places. Fortunately this is one example of an icefield that is managing to remain stable in size due in part to the 7 metres of snowfall it receives per year, however, it may remain stable but that means it also isn’t growing!

It will sound to you the reader that this trip was almost bordering on eroticism but I was nothing compared to the male half of a kiwi couple who we believed to be honeymooners and possibly on their first overseas trip. The guy must have taken over 500 photographs and by the way he was weaving around in a still seated position trying to capture every bloody thing he should be filmed and sold as a fitness video to every fat ass couch potato at home – his core stability must have been amazing. I felt quite sorry for his missus as when she finally did get a turn with the camera was directed about every shot which she should take – “click, click, click, click, click…”

We were in the sleepy town of Japser for 4 nights in the comfort of an amply sized 2 bedroom log cabin with open log fire. All that was missing was a rocking chair and a smoking jacket!

All in all we didn’t do that much but what we did do was worth the journey:

• Maligne Canyon ice walk – a 3 hour walk along a frozen river bed that is hard to believe is a 12 foot tall raging torrent of white water during the summer months. Immediately the action began as we encountered my first coyote idly walking along the side of the highway past the minibus before it trotted off no doubt on the hunt for an easy feed. Next was the herd of elk enjoying a relaxing morning socialising in a field. As for the walk itself we were fortunate enough to have footwear akin to wellies with attachable crampons but I still resembled Bambi learning to walk as we traversed over the sheets of ice and in and behind frozen waterfalls. The culmination of the walk was to enter the canyon itself to be confronted by 50 foot tall walls of ice which unbelievably showed the hallmarks of the many brave ice climbers that scale these temporary monuments every winter. On the way back to the van we encountered a juniper bush and given that these berries are used to make gin I wasn’t surprised when I saw Arancha and Bec lean over a pluck a few. They were quite tasty and you definitely got a hint of gin.The rest of that day was drank away in the Whistlestop Pub with a bargain $5.50 burger and fries
• Marmot Basin – Jasper’s ski mountain. All in all this ski area was a disappointment, it was a lot smaller than our ‘home’ skiing and the quality of the snow was not the best. However, we did have a fun day filming each other as we skied from the very top to the bottom and each film includes a fall by Arancha but I have to give her some credit as she was performing a row of 360 degree turns . I will get this footage edited and supply the link in the next post

 

What followed was a lazy day sandwiched by a couple of lazy evenings in front of the open log fire before it was time to hop back onto the bus and back along Highway 93 to Banff through a snowstorm that would bring England to a standstill. In Canada it is business as usual and this particular driver told me that one day he had driven through 3 feet of snow whist watching an avalanche in his rear view mirror. Can you imagine our National Express bus drivers being that capable back home?  I don’t think so; they can barely cope with a frost.

As with Australia, Canada has ‘Beware Animals Crossing’ signs. Australia has Emu, Camel and Kangaroo; Canada has Moose, Coyote and Grizzly Bear!!! I wonder what we would have?

Fox, Squirrel and Hedgehog? Or maybe a vicious Badger to make us look a little harder?

After a final weekend with Bec in Banff which included a great day off piste, skiing the back country, dodging pine trees and falling over a lot, as well as an Elk steak which was very tasty, we waved goodbye to Bec with the agreement of next seeing her in Las Vegas in early April and off we went to the resort of Lake Louise, 45 mins up the road.

This was more like it; Lake Louise looked like a mini Lapland, knee deep in snow surrounded by twinkling lights and log cabins. Even the youth hostel was built to sit perfectly within its wooded surroundings.

Lake Louise is a very small town with a real charm that makes you feel completely welcome and at home, the only problem is that accommodation is very pricey so our only option was a mixed dorm room.

Fortunately, the mixed dorm that we were allocated had a double bed set in a loft alcove that was reached via a 12 foot vertical ladder – not advisable if you were on the sherry.
Our roomies for the first 2 days were Kirk, a young kiwi with an unhealthy interest in Wall St bankers and Jasper, an Aussie banker, both of which were sound lads. They were both here on Canadian work and travel visas with the option to stay for 2 years!
We would love to do this but Arancha and I are too old to get a visa as we are over 31 years old, one of us more than the other – quite gutted really.

For 2 days we enjoyed what Lake Louise skiing had to offer, particularly on the backside of the mountain that had beautifully powdered runs and intricate routes through the trees. I can’t say that we cared for the front of the mountain which was too icy and dangerous – this proven by the fact that I twice ended up on my back skidding head first down the mountain.

I also had a particularly bad fall on my last run of the second day as I lost control over a mogul run and hit the snow face first. It was pretty scary during that slow motion split second when I knew that I was going down but I couldn’t help but laugh with Arancha as I pictured myself covered in snow with one of my skis a few metres up the slope behind me.

Apart from being a little shaken I was fine but yet another camera was broken. That is 2 cameras in little over a year broken by ‘falls’ – this travelling lark is getting expensive!

Canada itself has been unseasonably warm of late (and this has been proven by the fact today is Groundhog Day and Phil the ‘Hog has declared an early spring) but on this second day in Lake Louise the thermometer bottomed out at -26 degrees. It was easy to see that this was the case as when Jasper came to seat in front of us on the bus and he had some of his own spittle frozen on his chin. It gave Arancha that nails down the blackboard feeling but for me I just stared at it giggling internally.

Arancha has just told that she purposely slid further down in her set so that she could only see him from the nose up!! Ha ha.

I have just noticed that I have an American quarter in my pocket which is a little annoying as I don’t think that you can use them here but on closer inspection I would never to discard this coin. Do you know why? Because it has Helen Keller as the subject and next to the name it has a translation in the tiniest brail so that there is no way that a blind person could ever read it.

Helen Keller is a legend amongst the boys and we love her.

For our last day of this visit to Lake Louise we decided that a treat was in order. We like our treat days. We took a day off from our office jobs on the mountains and spent a few hours at the famous Chateau Lake Louise – a 5 star hotel set upon the banks of the actual Lake Louise, a stunning turquoise lake fed by the Victoria Glacier (named after our own Queen Victoria) on its western shore.
Of course at this time of year the lake is completely frozen over and the part closest to the hotel doubles as an ice rink complete with ice sculptures and an ice castle complete with thrones.

We spent an hour or so walking along the banks of the lake admiring the dramatic scenery that surrounded the said lake whilst looking out for the ancient mountaineering lodge that sits atop one of the surrounding mountains overlooking what must be one of the most awe inspiring sights. The lodge is actually open for afternoon tea during the summer months so we are left with no option but to return to conquer this new item on the ‘list’.

After the brisk walk we went into the hotel for a delicious lunch of Bison brisket amongst the luxurious surroundings and the panoramic views.
The end of lunch signalled the end of treat day so it was a 4km walk back down to the village below. This was an unremarkable walk along the roadside until Arancha thought that she had finally found the path only to climb up onto the ledge and then promptly sink thigh deep into dirty brown snow.  

We wasted the rest of the day watching films on the laptop before a depressing pasta dinner whilst speculating who would be our roomies for the night from the array of people about us. There were definitely some that we did not fancy such as an old couple who did not know what ear phones were as they sat in the communal area watching their own laptop at full volume. There was also a very bizarre bloke who looked like he had jumped off the pages of a hitchhiker murderer film and I was very unnerved by the way he sauntered around taking in absolutely every part of his surroundings including us.

Obviously we had all 3 in our room.

We are now close to the end of this post and it has been a much longer update than first envisaged. So I will leave you with one last story of my travels to date. We are now back in Banff and coming to the end of Celebrity weekend at the Sunshine Ski Village, a weekend where celebs get another freebee for some charitable cause and enjoy a weekend bender on the slopes.

There were a plethora of so called celebs milling around and we found ourselves in the close company of Minnie Driver, Lyle Lovett, Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Robert F Kennedy Jnr (American royalty) and Pierce Brosnan on 2 separate occasions, once in the shittiest café on the slopes where we were sat eating our crushed sandwiches and microwavable rice!!
Now seeing these faces was all good but I was hanging out for Kevin Sorbo (Hercules), Susan Surrandon, Kelly Lebrock (Weird Science) and Alec Baldwin.

Right, that’s that for now and I must really do my updates more often as these essays are a killer.

We are off to Muse on Monday; Chao. 

I may be home but that doesn’t mean that the fun should stop!

Bloggers, how long has it been? Well, I will tell you!

It has been 6 months to the day since I arrived back in the UK resulting in the inevitable break in the blog posts.

I did say that I would update you with my UK life and so here we go.

My previous post came from my temporary residence in a millionaire’s row in Chelsea that ended up being our home for about 5 weeks.

Our time there was most enjoyable and our hosts were most hospitable – I mean let’s be honest, how can you not appreciate a great house, great company, endless BBQ’s producing the best game meat, what seemed like endless socialising / gatherings and how can I leave out the hot tub!

Greg and Isla – respect!

However, after 5 weeks we were ready to get into a place of our own. Don’t get me wrong, life in Chelsea was grand but everyone needs their own space.

Fortunately, by week 3 in London we had both found jobs – take that you stupid recession – so we were able to jump straight into the flat hunting and after 5 viewings we found the place we were looking for, even if it wasn’t our fist choice.

We do not need to go into work as such, all you need to know is that after 5 months of being back in the City (for me) and classroom (for AJ) we are desperate to get the f*ck out again. I do not need to tell you that work is purely overrated - seriously, who decided that the week should consist of 2 days for the weekend? I must Google this!

I actually did just Google this and apparently the American concept of the weekend has its roots in labor union attempts to accommodate Jewish workers who took Saturday instead of Sunday as their Sabbath. The first five-day work week was instituted by a New England spinning mill for just this reason.

True or not, I don’t know?

So let’s have a brief chat about Chez ALAJ (that’s our initials in case you were wondering).

It isn’t pretty, it isn’t new and the landlord is a complete div but the location is perfect and it seems bigger than it is due to the split level. (It isn’t really split level, there are just a few steps up to the boudoir, but AJ insists it is split level)

We live close to Borough and we are a 10 minute walk due south from the River Thames, our nearest point being Tate Modern. Add to this that our nearest big ‘supermarket’ is Borough Market, I can walk to work everyday and every major London attraction is in sight and I just can’t find anything not to like about where we live.

The area is a real eclectic mix of private tenants, council housed tenants and general drop outs who you can see everyday boozing on the street and generally getting up to mischief – I love it.

So what have we actually been up to? Looking back on all that we have done I now know how the past few months have passed in a blur and we currently find ourselves on countdown to UK departure date number 2.

It seemed that everything was coming in on top of each other such as the weekend of 23^rd June 2012. The Saturday was not only our moving-in day into the new gaff but once we had signed the lease and gone to pick up the keys we then had to get ourselves up to Knebworth to watch the Red Hot Chilli Peppers in concert.

For me there were 3 memorable things to come out of that afternoon / evening, Chilli Peppers aside:

1)      Of all the people there I run into a mate from university who I had not seen for 10 years

2)      Whilst watching Dizzie Rascal AJ turned to me and declared “I don’t like Dizzie Rascals, they’re rubbish”.

I have no idea why that is funny but it tickled me and I have probably put it in here so that I can laugh some more at her when she has a go

3)      Come the end of the gig it absolutely pissed it down and we had to walk for an hour to get to the train station – not fun!

The next couple of weeks were a case of settling into work and the flat and catching up with a few faces that I hadn’t seen in a couple of years and during this time we were also able to start enjoying London for what it was now that we had some cash coming in.

For example, the weekend of 13^th July consisted of a Friday night concert, outdoors in the middle of London to watch The Enemy – yes of course it rained but this time we were prepared with our wellies and cagoules (it wasn’t a cagoule but I haven’t used that word for years so thought that I would) and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway as the gig was brilliant.

The Saturday was also a good day out after a so so start – Shrek the Musical (that was the so so) followed by drinks and nibbles overlooking the skyline of London Town from the top of Tower 42 and then the inevitable further drinks.

During this time we also started our Spanish lessons for the South American journey ahead, although they have currently stopped due to conflicting diaries. It is fair to say that we have learnt the basics and understand that to conjugate a sentence in Spanish is no easy feat but let’s face it, no matter how much we try to learn here we should improve tenfold once we are living and breathing the language on a daily basis.

(That’s what we are telling ourselves at any rate)

We are now at Friday 27^th July and for the next 3 weeks London was to be transformed into something unrecognisable – people were smiling and acknowledging each other, the sun came out and the general atmosphere was something to behold – The London Olympiad of 2012 had come to town.

I had already watched the Olympic flame pass by the office but now it was show time!

I do not care what the pessimists and anti-Olympic brigade may have said, if you were living in London or just visiting you could not help but feel uplifted by the energy that was flowing around – it may sound gay but it was magical. Never have I or will I ever again experience a period in London quite like that.

It all began and ended with multiple bangs which could be heard and seen from the flat.

I did not experience as much as some but I can say that I did get to take in a good amount of live actiont:

• The men’s cycling road race – Wiggins, Froom, Cavendish et al
• Football – Men’s Team GB at Wembley
• Football – Men’s games at Coventry with dad / Phylis / Pippin (you choose the name)
• Football – Women’s Gold Medal match – a really good game
• Marathon – Men’s and Women’s – the course passed just 15 min walk from the flat so that was easy!

Apart from the live action Hyde Park was also transformed into a viewing arena for those that struggled to get tickets, which was fantastic. The area consisted of 5 different screens showing all of the events, eateries, bars and an assortment of live music – add the warm summer evenings and the world’s people coming together to this mix and you had a winning combo.

One night that will forever stay with me was a Friday night where AJ and I met up after work and took a stroll to the park to watch some of the sport and then stood at the front of the stage drinking good red wine and watching a favourite Aussie band, The Temper Trap followed by a quality acoustic set from Ocean Colour Scene.

I already knew that life was good but a text from my boi Moggy in response to watching OCS confirmed this when he told me that at that exact same time he was food shopping in Morrison’s.

That night actually ended circa 4am in New Cross – battered!

We would be back at Hyde Park a couple more times throughout the Olympics and the final time was to enjoy the closing ceremony concert. I give myself a big pat on the back as AJ had 2 major bands on her list of ‘must sees’ and this summer I took her to see both of them.

On this occasion it was to see New Order who rocked the place especially when they revived their Joy Division roots and sang ‘Love will tear us apart’. I was hanging out for ‘World in Motion’ with a cameo by John Barnes but to no avail, but it was ok as they were sandwiched in between The Specials and Blur on a very cool night of British music.

During this time I also attended the BBQ of some good mates, lads that I travelled with to Frankfurt for the 2006 World Cup. It actually took place on Super Saturday when we won 3 track and field gold medals in 45 mins but the real success story of that night was AJ making it to the final of a very competitive table tennis competition.

We also attended the drinks for Muzkins who did very well in getting himself engaged to the lovely Lottie – punching, above and weight comes to mind. (Not really son!)

But, and it is a big but, no sooner had it begun it was all over. You could literally feel the collective sigh and upset that it had come to and end and would never come again in our lifetimes.

But never fear, the Para-Olympics was on its way and that meant that we would now get to experience the Olympic Park. Whilst everyone was scrambling for spare Olympic tickets I decided to forgo these in favour of Para tickets and was rewarded with the following:

• Athletics at the Olympic Stadium – non sporting highlight was booing George Osbourne; there really is no place for politicians in sport
• Fencing, Volleyball, Table Tennis and Boccia at the Excel Arena – the sporting highlight for me were the wheelchair fencers that got up for a walk around to stretch their legs during a break!!!

And then it really was all over – but not quite.

I found myself wondering around one lunchtime just to get out of the office for some air and before I knew where I was I had stumbled upon the beginning of Olympic parade that would see an estimated 1million + plus people line the streets of London, 20 people deep trying to get a glimpse of their newfound heroes.

They should’ve come with me because there was hardly anybody around the Guildhall and I just stood there for an hour or so as every Olympian walked by to climb or wheel aboard the floats.

I saw more medals that you could hope to see and if you named an Olympian then I saw them all bar the one most guys would want to see, Jess Ennis.

Then it really, really was over – or was it?

I was out for dinner with some antipodeans (as seems to be the norm these days) and I found myself sitting next to Tina, a friend of a friend who also happened to be a genuine Para-Olympian who had just won a silver medal in the wheelchair basketball. Not only had she won a medal at London 2012, she has also won medals in Athens 2004 and Beijing 2008 and apparently had a habit of misplacing the said medals in bars after a few celebratory sherberts. (another word you don’t use that often)

What followed was inevitable – me asking if she had the medal and could I wear it!

She did and I did – brilliant. Great work Tina!

And then it was over.

Between the end of the Olympics and the beginning of the Para-Olympics there were 2 weeks to kill so we had to keep ourselves busy.

Weekend 1 saw AJ finally getting to realise the birthday present that she got from me back in February – tickets to V Festival.

We had no choice but to buy the tickets that included a mandatory coach trip to the site in Chelmsford and I have to say that it all worked out perfectly.

The coach left from Embankment opposite the London Eye meaning that within 2 tube stops from home we were there but all I remember about the coach was that the female driver was slating somebody for one thing or another in her broad Essex twang, yet she was the one who was visibly pregnant and smoking a faaaagggg!

Pure class.

By Friday 10:30am our tent was up, we had some prime real estate with a decent sized front ‘garden’ and the sun was already beating down on us.

Next task was the walk back to the drop off point with our empty backpacks to catch the bus into town to stock up on the booze and nibbles.

By 12pm we were back in our chairs, watching the masses struggle with all of their kit into the campsite (including many an Essex girl in tears as either she was regretting bringing her entire wardrobe and having to carry it, it was too hot or she had broken a faackin nail) and sipping on our first beverage.

By 2pm the Port came out.

By 5pm we were both p*ssed. Gin & Tonics, beers and 1.5 litres of Port had been consumed in hot sunshine and possibly 1 litre of the Port by AJ alone.

By 7pm the main arena had opened for business so we headed for the fairground.

First stop was the Waltzers – if you are drunk why would you not try to exacerbate the effect?

I thought that every country would have the waltzers at their fairgrounds but obviously not because as the ride slowly went around to enable it to fill up AJ was slating it asking if this was it? I told her that yes this was it and this was a key part of my childhood so accept it.

Then the ride began proper and the carneys at this fairground knew what it meant if you screamed to go faster!! We were pinned to the back of the carriage absolutely pissing ourselves as we span out of control for what seemed like an eternity and Arancha’s faith in me was once again restored.

We followed this up with a couple more stomach churning rides until we felt sick, so we stopped.

All in all a great first festival day and the rest of the weekend would follow in the same vain – booze, fun and blazing sunshine.

Saturday morning was a hazy one – both in memories and weather and there is nothing worse than waking up the morning after the night before in a tent that doubles as a sauna.

There was little else to do but grab some brekkie, crack open the beers and take a swig of Port – true dat. Well that was me, AJ just stuck to the bacon and egg sarny.

Saturday’s line up was more for Arancha and this day would end with her watching her number 1 band to see of all time – The Stone Roses.

The other performances throughout that day were decent with Keane and then Noel Gallagher raising the bar after we had just sat in the Shisha bar watching the setting sun but it was the Roses who blew me away. I didn’t really know what to expect but the hype around their reformation was justified – they were brilliant and AJ was ecstatic so all was good with the world.

Sunday followed (as it naturally does) and this day’s music was for me a better all round day. We had Shed Seven, who not only sang great songs from my teenage days but also entertained us with some hilarious banter, followed by The Enemy who as usual set a high standard. There was also a visit to an oxygen bar which I think is just a con as it did nothing for me except rob me of a few quid.

Then came Snow Patrol who belted out a number of classics as the sun set over the festival for the final time and provided one of those ‘perfect’ moments where you know where you are and you are intoxicated enough to take it all in and feel it. (Plus you also get a couple of great snaps that capture the essence of it all)

The festival then reached a fitting climax with The Killers – a great weekend and a pleasure to be back home enjoying what the UK does best.

By Monday 10:30am we were back in the flat – easy as peas.

As I mentioned, we had 2 weekends to kill before the start of the Para’s so the very next weekend we jetted off to Madrid (as you do) to catch up with some of Arancha’s familia (that’s Spanish for family – oh yeah, the lessons are working!!) that she has not seen in some years.

We stayed with her auntie and cousin who reside just a few kilometres from the centre of Madrid and from the moment we arrived to the moment we left it was all about Spanish hospitality ie. Amazing food and plenty of drink and saying ‘No’ actually meant ‘Yes, of course you would like some more’.

This was a chance for us to try out our very broken Spanish and my conclusion was that it was more non existent than broken. At least Arancha could pick up the odd word that was being spoken; the family must’ve thought that I was both deaf and a mute.

Arancha’s auntie was a real character, zooming from room to room in her wheelchair speaking only in Spanish and her cousin embarrassingly confessed that his English was not good so he was very sorry. If I could speak Spanish the way he spoke English I would be well chuffed!!

The first afternoon passed in a blur as we were fed until stuffed full and plied with alcohol meaning that a siesta was in order – bye bye most of the day!

We ventured out in the evening to look around the city and to watch the sun set over the palace before meeting up with Arancha’s cousin and his partner at a famous food market to eat and drink some more because we obviously needed the feed again. We ended the night with a walking tour around some of the more touristy sights that Madrid had on offer.

Early the next morning we set about actually seeing some more of Madrid and did the usual city break stuff. We went to the Reina Sofia Gallery to view some masterpieces by artists such as Goya, Picasso, Dali and Raphael and followed this up by a walk around some more of the sights such as the Plaza del Espana and the Plaza Mayor.

After a day of culture we again met up with AJ’s cousin and partner and they took us to one of their favourite restaurants, the sort of place that I love because only the locals know about it.

We followed this up by a night on the lash that took in a couple of gay bars and a nightclub before retiring to bed for the night at about 4am.

Why is it that on the day that you are recovering from a cold sore you stand in the middle of a bar that is lit with UV that acts to light up the monstrosity on your lip like some beacon that declares you are infected, you are dirty and you should be avoided at all costs – glad I am not single as that would not have been a successful night!

It is fair to say that we were feeling a little seedy the next morning so the best way to recover was to head to the Parque del Retiro to lie on the grass under a tree and snooze the day away before heading back into the centre of the city to gorge ourselves silly on more classic Spanish tapas. I will state that I did all of my ordering in Spanish and it was understood – however, if and when the waiter would ask me a question in response I was stumped.

Before we knew it, it was Monday morning and time to say ‘Adios a Madird y la familia’ (sh*t, I am good). It was a fun time but I would say that you can do Madrid in a weekend and the only reasons that I would go back are to see the family and check out the Bernabeu Stadium that is still on the list.

Post Para-Olympics we found ourselves back at Hyde Park for another day of fun and frolics in the sun and this time it was to celebrate my mum’s birthday at the Proms in the Park. This also would mean that I would be reunited with my older sister who I had not seen for exactly 2 years.

I say older sister because on more than one occasion now we have been asked who is the oldest sibling? Ha ha, she hates it. Beck, would you like some Botox for Xmas?

We parked ourselves perfectly between the stage and the amenities and set about demolishing the cider, red wine and picnic along with the Devon contingent of the family and one of AJ’s best friends Emily – a much welcomed addition to my circle of mates.

The sun was out, mum was tipsy and waving her union jack about like a demented mental patient and we were all having fun, especially the oldies once Bjorn Again took to the stage to belt some ABBA ‘classics’.

The special guest singer on the night was Kylie Minogue and she was good, not as good as previous guests such as Bazza Manilow and my boy Lionel Richie, but good nonetheless.

The live link up the Royal Albert Hall followed and I think given the summer that had just come to pass ala Jubilee and Olympics the usual deafening chorus to Rule Britannia, Land of Hope and Glory and the National Anthem was notched up by another decibel or 50.

National pride at its very best.

So what else has been going?

Well I have been reunited with my Spurs season ticket and I have really enjoyed being back at The Lane although I have to confess that it isn’t quite the same as it was before.

I don’t want to sound like a dick and I am not preaching but after the poverty of India, the daily struggles of the other inhabitants in SE Asia and add to that the heroics of proper athletes in the Olympics I cant help but sit in the ground and feel anything but contempt for these jumped up scumbags that would surely be unemployed bums or in prison if it wasn’t for the fact that they can play football better than the rest of us.

I also am not forgetting the average footy fan that sits around me and has nothing to do except to expel a literary string of vicious bile at whoever may be on the ball at that time or boo their own team if they aren’t playing well.

Apart from that I am enjoying watching the team again and I must add that Ashley Cole and John Terry are exempt from the paragraph above about the fans – they deserve everything they get.

We have also been to a few concerts as that is a major thing that I missed about my time away.

There has been Hot Chip, The Temper Trap and my favourite band Muse who I took Latner (the skank – more on that soon) to for his birthday and another welcome

antipodean addition to the group Michelle joined the fun.

Add to this high tea, trips to the IMAX to watch some good films, trips to the theatre plus various nights out in London and Leicester with the lads and it has been a very busy time.

We also spent an evening at a comedy club and when one comedian asked if there were any Australians in the house a lubricated Arancha was straight up with a ‘yeah’ and she was the only Aussie there – which is a surprise in itself in central London.

She made a lucky escape though as he was quite kind and didn’t completely tear her apart as I would’ve hoped and expected.

This leads nicely on to one week that became an ‘Aussie’ week. Firstly there was an impromptu visit from the gayest of all Aussie’s Nick Burt and his now lovely fiancé Sam (as per previous posts I used to work with Nick and stayed with him in Melbourne on a couple of occasions) – and he is yet another mate who is definitely punching above his weight!!

This night out was then followed 2 nights later with a reunion with Winslow – my fellow English teammate from my football team in Melbourne.

Winslow was over for the publication of his first book and this night was its official launch night.

I am proud to say that I was the first person to get a copy of his book, ‘Barmy Army – Despatches from a cricketing foot soldier’ signed by the big man. I am not really into cricket but I have to say that this book about his life and times travelling with and working for the Barmy Armey is actually a really good read – honest. 

So that is it; you are now up to date with my life in the UK since my return in May.

So what’s next I hear you ask?

Well; in the coming weeks we have:

• A weekend to Paris (a birthday present to myself)
• A weekend in Toledo (also a birthday present to myself)
• My 33^rd birthday (someone else can buy the presents)
• A weekend in Bordeaux (I like having a half Spanish, half French Aussie girlfriend who has family dotted about the place)
• More footy matches and live music
• And Xmas of course

Last but not least December 1^st will see us all waving a teary goodbye to the cornerstone of the Leicester contingent. Latner has fallen in love with Greenall – my friend in Sydney who I introduced to Lats when he came to visit in November 2011, and he is moving over there to begin a new life with her.

Whilst we (the lads) will be sad to see him go (we won’t really) we are also very pleased that he has actually found the perfect girl as we did fear that he would be a lifelong bachelor given some of his previous antics!!

Dec 1^st promises to be a very boozy affair.

That is 2012 taken care of but what of 2013 and beyond?

January 2013 will see the commencement of the next part of the world tour. The first stop is Canada to hit the slopes and enjoy the ski season with AJ and a fellow Melbournian, Becs.

I have also managed to secure some tickets to see Muse again in Calgary in February so that will be great.

March / April will then be a quick stop over in San Francisco to stay with Rachael Moore – blog readers will recall Rach as she stalked me through 5 different countries – before continuing south across the border into Mexico to begin the Central and South American adventure.

How long we will be gone, we have no idea, it is literally a case of for how long we can stretch the cash, but ideally I hope to be gone for another 18 months or so.

I am currently doing a course that will enable me to teach English abroad so the plan is to circumnavigate the continent, find a place that we both like and then secure a teaching role of which there are quite a few and see what happens. Who knows?

All that I do know is that I want to push the boundaries more than I did on my last trip and take in as much as I can from the people, the wildlife, the beaches, the jungles to of course our happy place, the mountains.

It is going to be epic and through the blog I will try to keep you amused and rub your nose in it as much as possible unless you fancy just jumping on a plane and joining me along the way?

Speak soon and peace out.

Lamby

Ps. Well done to Moggy and Tor on the impending birth of your first child.

I didn’t know you knew how to do it Mogs!