A happy new year to you all! I trust it was a good one?
This post comes to you from the turquoise waters of Monkey Mia at the western most point of the Australian mainland. Monkey Mia is located in the world heritage listed Shark Bay is home to a number of dolphins that come up to the shoreline every morning to hang out with the tourists – me being one of them!
As I write this I am staring out over the ocean with an emu strolling around behind me, I kid you not. Oh, and it is 40 degrees in the shade.
I am undecided as to how up to date I will bring you with this blog post. Once again I have left it a while between posts and there is a lot to tell, so I will see how I far I get today. I am currently 2 weeks into my 8,000-ish km road trip through Western and Southern Australia in the shit-heap vehicle, that myself and Arancha bought, we call home. It has been pretty epic so far: a near miss with a cyclone, a delay because of bush fires, close encounters with nesting turtles and numerous other wildlife sightings. However, before I get onto those stories I need to talk about my last couple of weeks in Melbourne and my xmas and new year adventures.
So, after getting back from the east coast road trip with the lads I spent a few days in Melbourne relaxing at my mate Nick’s place just wasting time. Needless to say that after a few days I was hanging to get out and do something a little more exciting, so I did.
On the Sunday afternoon at about 3pm I decided that I would do the Great Ocean Walk, a 90-ish km bush and beach trek along some of the coast line of Victoria. At 7pm that day I was on a train heading down to the coast with my backpack and my tent.
The reason for the hasty departure was that I needed to head down to the ‘finish’ line and walk back to the ‘beginning’ in 4 days because I was to attend Arancha’s work xmas do on the Friday and the booze was free – I say no more.
The reason for doing it back to front is that the ‘finish’ line only had one bus per day and if I missed it I was buggered, the ‘start’ trebled my chances of getting back with 3 buses per day.
I actually found out whilst on the trek that you aren’t allowed to do it backwards and you also need a permit to camp along the way. It is a good job that I cannot stand rules and regulations and give them no regard. Australia has far too many of them, it is a true nanny state and far worse than the UK in that regard.
I arrived in Wanambool on the south coast at 10pm and checked into a hostel. An early start followed to catch the bus for 2.5hrs to the 12 Apostels, my start point. The 12 Apostels is one of the ‘must see’ things whilst in Australia – 7 rock towers (there were once 12) out in the ocean viewed from the edge of huge cliffs. The bus journey there was the best public bus service that I have ever been on – it stopped for 5 mins at every sightseeing spot and I had a helpful elderly couple sat near to me that gave me some tit-bits of info about each one.
They were a really sweet old couple that still held hands as they walked around. But why is it when an elderly person asks you a question, in my case, where are you from, that the standard answer given is always, “How lovely”?
Once at the 12 Apostels I loaded up on chocolate bars and water, took the obligatory tourist photos and set off on my way. My first target was 6kms to Prince Town to get some supplies as there would not be another shop for about 60kms – I was really going off into the wilderness.
The walk for that day was great. One minute I would find myself fighting through thick bush (I am a sure a few of you have been there!!) and the next I would be walking along the edge of high cliffs looking out over the bluest of oceans.
All in all I walked 15kms to a camp area called Devils Kitchen and it was a basic as could be. A food preparation area consisting of a table, 8 cleared spaces for tents, a water tank and a loo.
As always I was fully prepared for 4 days in the middle of nowhere. At Prince Town I brought a loaf of bread, 2 apples, some peanut butter and some crisps to go with my snickers and boost bars. Did I not think to myself that in 30 degree heat the last thing I would want to feast on for breakfast, lunch and dinner was dry and stodgy peanut butter on dry brown bread? What was I thinking?
After one day of trekking I was over my gourmet sandwiches with 3 long days of walking to go.
There were 5 very well organised campers at the campsite with me that night on the last leg of their trek. They looked at me with a mixture of pity and contempt as I munched on my dry sandwich, told them of my plans to do the walk backwards in 4 days and my complete lack of bush/snake safety knowledge – they did in the recommended 8, in the right direction and with a paid for permit!
I did not even have a charged phone to call for help if it was needed.
They were all really nice though and we told various travel stories as we waited for and watched the sunset over the ocean from a top of our cliff-top forest retreat.
I also showed them my photos from the day especially the snake that was sunbathing right in my path that I had to coax out of the way with a stick. They looked at it and told me it was a blue-tongued lizard and sure enough when I looked close enough I could see a leg! Not sure how I missed the leg as I crapped myself trying to move it out of my way.
I was up bright and early the next morning knowing that I had 30kms to get through including 2 beach walks.
The first section of that days walk was along the beach and it is very hard work walking along a beach in your boots with a 15kg bag on your back. Like the majority of my walk I had everything as far as I could see to myself, there was absolutely nobody around. This beach also had 2 anchors embedded into it where there were 2 separate shipwrecks back in the late 1800’s.
There was another beach walk that I had to complete in the mid-afternoon sun and it was a killer. It is all worth it though as you cannot drive to these beaches, the only way to get to them is to trek. They are little pristine lost worlds that only the trekkers get to experience.
The days trek itself was gruelling. I managed to go the wrong way on 2 occasions and I reckon that added an extra 5kms onto my day. Once again the scenery was amazing, blue skies, green cliffs, blue ocean and the red hot sun.
I also came across a house that was selling homemade marmalade to the trekkers. This may not sound like much but when you are 25kms into a walk, you are hurting and you want to stop, the thought of not having to have peanut butter on bread for dinner again is enough to push you on to your camp.
Just in case you were wondering, the marmalade was lemon, lime and orange. Yum yum!
Just before getting to my campsite I walked into a kangaroo colony. At that point I hadn’t seen many wild roos so this was quite a buzz.
I finally got to my campsite, located on a cliff edge at 6pm and by 7:30pm I was asleep because the pain was too much and all I wanted was for the day to end. I didn’t even have my dinner of marmalade on bread like Paddington Bear.
The next morning I was still in a good deal of pain but knew that I had no choice but to get walking. There was a lighthouse with a shop 10kms away and that meant some decent food, so that was the target.
Unfortunately the first 5kms of the walk were along a beach and it completely took it out of me, I was done. My muscles ached, my feet had split and one of the harnesses of my backpack was about to tear away from the bag, which would really put me in trouble.
I walked another 3kms and managed to get to the only point of the trek that meets a road.
At that point I chucked my bag down and for the first time hitchhiked!
Randomly enough the people that were kind enough to stop and pick me up were a married couple who work for National Geographic and are currently being paid to circumnavigate Australia in their camper with their new born baby and write/photograph about the trip to be featured in Australian Geographic magazine later this year – what a job!
They were both really sound people and I spent the next 2 hours in their company which was a pleasure hearing about all the great stuff they get to do for their jobs. They were good enough to take me to the lighthouse shop so that I could arrange a lift out but not before they took me on a little detour to show me a koala colony – my first wild koalas.
As they dropped me off they took a few photos of me and took my details, so fingers crossed my mug shot may appear in the travel blog/article in July’s version of Aus Geographic. How very random.
Once at the Cape Otway lighthouse I managed to sort out a lift to Apollo Bay, which in turn would allow me to catch a bus to Geelong to then get a train back to Melbourne.
I am gutted that I did not complete the walk but I got within 30kms of the finish line. I will return and do it again one day but I will do it with more than bread and peanut butter and over more than 4 days!!
Once back in Melbourne I spent the next 3 days living it up in a hotel in the city with Arancha. We attended her xmas bash and got suitably smashed and also caught up with one of her best mates who happens to be dating some super rich guy and lives in London.
Guess who has been asked to stay at his plush gaff in central London whilst we get ourselves sorted once Arancha and I return home to the UK in May? Nice!
The next week was to be my last in Melbourne which I spent living at Nat’s place out in the sticks. It was nice to be out in the countryside relaxing and doing not a lot.
I did venture into the city to watch a football match, Melbourne Victory vs Adelaide with Winslow and the standard was poor. Even Harry Kewell did not improve the quality on show.
I was also in the city to try and sort out our visas for China, my post Oz destination – a challenging task if ever there was one and I will have to try again once I am back from this road trip.
One other thing that I did in Melbourne before I left was the one thing all backpackers must do when in town – visit Ramsay St!
I made the pilgrimage with Winslow and as we walked into the street (a real suburban street with real residents) I couldn’t believe how small it is in real life. As we walked past all of those famous houses – The Ramsay’s, The Robinson’s, The Mangel’s, a guy got out of his security car and I feared he would tell us to do one. It turns out the street has 24hr security to keep the residents safe from mentalists and he was more than happy to actually talk to someone as he was bored shitless. In fact he even told me the best place to stand to get a good photo in front of The Kennedy household!
That was it for my stint in Melbourne. I will be returning for a few days at the end on Feb for Arancha and Nadia’s birthday bash but that’s it.
On Friday 16th Dec Arancha and I picked up a relocation camper van and set out for Sydney where we would be spending xmas day at her mother’s house. We spent 3 days getting to Sydney, 1 night free camping at the road side outside of Canberra, 1 night by the ocean in Jervis Bay and the last just south of the city in Sydney.
Once the van was returned we then hired a car so that we could get around for the next 6 days in Sydney.
The first thing that we did was head up to the Blue Mountains for 3 days.
For the majority of those 3 days it rained which is not ideal when you are camping in a crappy $40 tent but it kept us dry, if not completely warm.
The weather did clear for long enough to allow me to take Arancha on the same walk that I did back in March, the one where I was attacked by leeches. We had a good day out in the rainforest but Arancha wasn’t overly keen on the leeches although was more of a man about it than Egg was in Nimbin!
After the Blue Mountains it was back to Sydney to spend the next few days with Arancha’s mother. Arancha’s mum is very nice and tells it how it is. She is a little Spanish lady with a lot of life in her who told Arancha that I had nice eyes but was short – fair enough! She was also not content unless she was force-feeding me to make sure that I was full. She was a very accommodating woman and this extended to her being pretty chilled when I walked in on her on the loo!!
Xmas eve was spent at Wollongong beach getting sunburnt followed by a few beers at the local working men’s club near to Arancha’s mum’s house. It was odd walking home afterwards seeing midnight mass taking place outdoors for all to see and hear, but that’s the advantage of having xmas in the southern hemisphere where it is summer.
Xmas day was a very relaxed affair. Up at about 10am, start dinner at about 1pm and after many courses and glasses of wine, finish about 4pm.
It passed like any other xmas day, food followed by shit movies on the tv. The difference being that it was very warm outside.
In the evening I skyped the folks and wished them a very happy xmas from far away for the second year in a row – I promise I will be at the dinner table in person next year Mum.
By the way I got another awesome present from Arancha. This time I got tickets to go and see England vs Ukraine at the Euro’s next June – I can’t wait. The bonus is that this will involve some more travel!!
Cheers AJ, you’re the best!
Boxing day was to be another day of travel. This time we were off to spend 4 days in Tasmania.
We arrived in Hobart mid afternoon and were greeted by my ice-cream uncle, Mr John Whippy.
It was good to catch up again as I hadn’t seen him since July and the day was spent eating lunch out, sipping wine within his beautiful domestic surroundings and then eating out again for dinner.
Our timing in Tasmania was perfect, the Taste of Tasmania Food and Drink Festival was to start on the 28th Dec and then the Falls Music Festival would start on the 29th.
John was supplying 3 stalls with his goods at the Taste Festival so I spent some time on the 27th giving him a hand delivering the ice cream in return for being able to take Arancha on a small taster session at the factory afterwards. A sound deal if ever there was one.
On the day on the Taste we first ventured over to the MONA Museum (mentioned in my previous blog post about Tasmania) so I could show Arancha the poo machine and someone pooing on a camera etc. Don’t ever say that I don’t know how to show a girl a good time!
From the museum we took a boat back to the harbour to attend the Taste.
The Taste festival is a chance for Tasmania to promote its local produce meaning that there are dozens of food and drink stalls all set up around the harbour with live music to assist the enjoyable atmosphere.
Whilst at the festival we met up with some of Arancha’s friends who happened to be over from Melbourne and we all set about getting quite intoxicated.
It was a thoroughly good day we were both well gone by the time John arrived from work.
This day of the festival also coincided with the finish of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race – quite a big deal down here. So whilst sipping wine and eating fine food we stood on the pier watching the boats come in.
Not much more to say on that except that the winner didn’t win because they cheated by having a helicopter fly back to the yacht in second place to check what sails they were using so that they could match them to stay ahead.
Still, you have to take in these experiences if they are presented to you and you are there.
The next morning we rose early to take a bus to the Fall Music Festival. It is fair to say that I was still drunk due to the triple whisky and coke that John treated me to as a nightcap back at his place.
By the way, thanks again John for letting us stay and for being so generous, especially the bone china Tasmanian Devil mugs, which you will be pleased to hear that we always use to drink our wine out of at dinner time – no lie!
At least you let us pay for some stuff this time – a minor victory on my part.
On to the Falls Festival.
We got there mid morning on the Thursday and were then left with nothing much to do. Nothing was to really get going until 3pm and the bars did not open until 1pm – what a joke!
We did have fun that day though supping a few lagers and dancing around in the soul tent seeing who could do the spazziest dance. I think I won quite easily.
We also tried to get into the 10 minute rave party held in a shipping container but the crowds were verging on Hillsborough so we ducked out.
I have to say that doing blind piggy back rides to the loos was great fun but the people around us didn’t seem to get it.
By the time we got back to the tent it has taken on the form of a tee-pee. Someone has clearly taken a fall onto our tent and this had snapped the tent frame. We spent 2 nights sleeping with the tent lining threatening to smother us in our sleep.
That evening they also showed some movies by the main stage and Back to the Future was advertised as the first one. I was quite upset that The Breakfast Club was shown as I was well up for Marty, Doc and Einstein.
The next 2 days were all about the music but we would only get to experience 1 of them. I cannot stand missing an ‘experience’ so we would be leaving on NYE in order to get back to Sydney for the Harbour Bridge fireworks.
The first day of the music was the one I wanted to be at anyway as the Arctic Monkeys were headlining. There were some good bands on during the day but it was all about the Arctic’s for me. I have to say that I was a little deflated by their performance, they just didn’t look like they could be arsed and were just going through the motions, although it was funny hearing them shout out “’Ow ya doin’ Tasseh”.
They also missed out some classic songs so I went to bed disappointed. But not to worry, there are plenty more gigs to be seen over the years, like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers in June – it’s all about keeping it real my friends and having some good days lined up!
By the way Lats/Moggy, get yourselves a ticket for Knebworth and come with us!
Our trip to Tasmania was good but on this trip I could see why the rest of Aus refers to it as an incestuous place – a bit like how the English think of Norwich and people from Leicester think of Ibstock.
There were so many people walking around with bad looks and missing limbs – too many to be pure coincidence. It is actually said that there are parts of Tassie that to this day have limited access with the rest of the island and the world.
I think there are a lot of sons whose mother is also their sister and father is also their grandfather etc. Fritzel stylee!!
NYE morning saw me up very early once again and still pissed once again. We packed up and trudged for 2kms along a country road to meet our lift.
Wazza, the brother of one of Arancha’s mates, who we met at the Taste had agreed to come well out of his way to pick us up and drop us at the airport.
This is what can be achieved when you have had a few vinos and will ask anyone anything like, “you used to take the acts to the Falls Festival did you? Cool, do you fancy picking us up for a small fee?”
This is what Dutch courage can achieve – I say drink up people!
Cheers for the lift Waz, you are a dreadlocked legend and I salute you.
We got up in a field at 6am in Tasmania and by 11:30am we were sitting in Shahn’s Sydney garden near to Bondi Beach.
Shahn is one of the girls who I met in Nepal along with Arancha. I stayed with her when I first arrived in Aus last March and had not seen her since then.
That afternoon we went over to a waterside bar in Double Bay with Shahn and her bloke and had a few beverages. Shahn’s bloke is a proper Aussie male and a really nice guy. He reminds me of a young version of my dad, he likes a beer or 8 but you can put him in to any social situation and he will just talk to people and make them laugh. He was good company and I look forward to catching up with them both when we make it around to Adelaide where Shahn has just moved.
We arrive at NYE evening. One of the gifts I brought for Arancha for xmas were tickets to ‘Lawn with a View’ – a limited ticket entry to a raised lawn in the Botanical Gardens opposite the Sydney Opera House and Sydney Harbour Bridge.
The location was perfect for viewing the fireworks.
The best part about it was that we could arrive at 7:30pm and not queue to get a view like everybody else had to by arriving at 11am-ish. Sod that, I will pay for the privilege, not queue and get a gourmet picnic thrown in as well.
There was a small display at 9pm and quick blast at 10pm and 11pm, followed by a quick blast every 15 mins between 11pm and midnight.
In between we were treated to an acoustic guitar session whilst sitting having our picnic on our blankets.
At the midnight it all went off. Never before have I seen fireworks like these – the display lasted for about 20 minutes and lit up the night sky. The fireworks erupted from the Bridge, behind the Opera House, from the tops of the city skyscrapers behind us and from 2 other locations over the harbour.
I am not sure why but I got very choked up watching it all and thinking about it is giving me goose pimples now. I think it in part to do with the fact that after such a mammoth travelling stint (well it seemed it when I left) I am now in the year when I will be returning home and have to leave Aus. Of course I want to see family and friends but no way do I want to come home, I am just not ready.
The actual ending of the fireworks was like nothing I have ever seen, multiple simultaneous explosions lit up the night sky so brightly that it really seemed like it was daytime.
It was fantastic and I definitely plan to spend another NYE in Sydney in the future, it was that good.
Keeping to our busy schedule we found ourselves back at the airport the next morning to fly off to Uluru (Ayres Rock) and the red centre of Australia.
The tales of this trip around central Aus and then onto our Western Aus road trip can wait until next time.
I can assure you that it will be a good post and in the past few days I have never seen as much wildlife in front of me – dead or alive, and the dead ones stink so bad!
Before I leave you, do you know why Aussie’s where hats with corks on them?
Arancha informed me that they all wear them as the swinging corks keep the flies off your face. Did you all know this or am I only the only one who thought that Aussie’s wore them just because that what Aussie’s did?
One last thing, please think of me in the 40+ degree heat just about to get up and explore the dolphin infested waters.
Catch you later!
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
A marathon, a Great White Shark and a road trip
Before you begin reading this blog entry be warned that it is a long one, over 9,000 words. It has been quite a while since I last updated you all on my activities but hopefully some of the things I have been up to will keep you amused and entertained.
The past few weeks has seen me travel through 4 of Australia’s States and cover a distance of over 4,000kms. Unfortunately, I now find myself back where it all began in Melbourne but it is fine, I know that in only 2.5 more weeks I will be back on the road for good.
I am currently homeless so this post comes to you from the front room of my good Aussie mate Nick ‘he wishes he was English’ Burt. His place is amazing and just the sort of gaff I would like to eventually find myself in. As I type this I look out over his balcony with a view of the Melbourne city skyscrape to the right, the coastal suburb of St Kilda and Luna Park directly in front of me (a small theme park housing the world’s oldest roller coaster) and surrounding all this, the ocean.
So here we go, I will do my best to be brief but there can be no guarantees!
Back to the beginning of October and it was the AFL (Aussie Rules) Final. Tradition dictates that you should attend a BBQ with your mates and get drunk whilst watching the game. I was invited to the house of a friend of my mate Winslow (footy mate from Grimsby) and had a great day. To summarise, the guy had a pool table, a number of cool lad gadgets on his veranda, 3 widescreen tv’s and lots of alcohol. The game kicked off at 2pm and I got to bed at 5am after mixing a lot of different alcohols and was rewarded with hangover number 9 of my life the next day. It was not pretty.
The game itself was quite good but the highlight was the pre-match entertainment – Meatloaf murdering his own songs during a 12 min set which was slated all over the media, especially due to his $600,000 fee.
The next week was taken up with preparations for that coming Sunday’s Melbourne Marathon. I have no problem admitting that I was terribly nervous and a little scared as the day approached but I considered not completing it, after all, failure is not an option.
The day before the race I attended a birthday get together for Winslow’s girlfriend Rae with Arancha. The do was at the Belgium Beer Gardens in Melbourne and I did not enjoy it – I was on lime and soda! By chance there happened to be 4 previous Melbourne Marathon runners in the birthday invitees and they all had some great advice for me which I readily took on board.
One guy, Andrew, gave me 3 pieces of information that I couldn’t help but think “bloody hell” as we discussed them:
1)You must do the run in your training gear – comfort is everything during a marathon
2)The energy gels are great and I assume that you have trained with them, as that is essential
3)I trained for a year for my marathon and once you get past the 30km mark you are in unknown territory but you know you can do it because it is only another 12km’s
The reason I got scared was:
1)Even though I knew this fact I ignored my own and his advice and only that morning brought some nice new running shorts and vest which I was determined to wear
2)I had energy gels but I have never trained with them before. In fact, I have only tasted one once before. To minimise the adverse effect that they may have had I took the gels without caffeine in them as I do not have much caffeine in my diet and I did not want a dodgy belly
3)He assumed (quite rightly) that I had done a lot of training for this. I daren’t tell him that I only decided 5 weeks ago to enter and that my previous longest run ever was the half marathon I did two weeks earlier. I really couldn’t be doing with that raised eyebrow look that said you are an idiot, I was nervous enough as it was.
That night I carb loaded and got a very early night. I was awoken an hour before my 5:30am alarm call by a text from my mother wishing me good luck!! I had to giggle to myself that her best intentions had robbed me of an essential extra hour sleep but that was that, I was now awake and scared shitless. Love you Ma.
I got to the MCG (start line) via taxi at 6am and had a good hour to prepare myself for the upcoming challenge. The all important preparations consisted off some pasta, half a banana, a poo (essential) and covering myself in Vaseline (even more essential as chaffing is a killer, especially joggers nip!)
Whilst getting ready I saw one of Arancha’s uni mates from Sydney who I had met the day before and he had some last words of encouragement for me which helped a lot.
So that was that, judgement time was upon me. Just before the race began the guy over the tannoy announced that the days oldest competitor was 83 years old – that statement was enough for me to know that I had to finish the race, if he can then so can I.
I won’t lie, it was really hard, but I still enjoyed every moment of it except for the last 5kms that seemed to last a life time. My way of tackling the marathon and getting over the finish line was to feed off of everybody else’s pain and suffering. It may sound harsh but surely that is what all sportspeople do in order to win – they psychologically get one over on their opponent.
For example, at 8kms I looked over to the other side of Albert Park lake, about 3kms behind me and saw people running – that’s a boost, you are beating a lot of people already; at 10kms a fit looking guy broke down and was hobbling and crying – my thought was he has trained too hard and his body has let him down, you should’ve done 5 weeks like me. There were other occasions on the course where you loop around the roads, so as you are running down one side and people are coming up the other you know that they still have to cover what you have just done – gutted.
I specifically remember crossing the 21km mark (halfway) and thinking that I was now in unknown territory as I had never run this far before but it was fine, I was feeling good and the occasion and my i-pod was keeping me going. Oddly enough, I started to feel a little rough around 28kms and at that exact point I noticed Andrew (the guy who gave me the advice at Rae’s bday party) in the crowd. I gave him a thumbs up, he applauded me and I cannot describe what a boost it gave to me. It is odd, but that smile from him alone got me through the next 10kms and I had only met him the day before.
As I got to the 37kms mark I really began to hurt. All I could do was put one foot in the front of the other and block every other thing out. I remember one guy stub his toe because he wasn’t lifting his legs up enough and I wanted to ask if he was ok but I couldn’t even muster the words to speak. It didn’t matter because within 5 seconds the guy was out of it, that little stumble stopped him completely in his tracks. It is really hard to describe the feeling of not having the capability to do anything more than just keep running forward towards your destination.
After what seemed like a 5km eternity I got to within 500 metres of the finish line. At that point I heard Arancha calling out from the crowd and I saw her and nearly lost it. A lump appeared in my throat but being the well spoken individual that I am I managed only to tell her that “I am f*cked” and carried on past her.
It’s odd that I managed to run 42.2kms in 3hrs 43mins, but the moment that I got over that finish line and stopped running I couldn’t breathe at all and I started to get very emotional. I have always wanted to test myself by running a marathon and I had done it. I think the worry of failure to complete it, which was my biggest fear, came to the surface after I had finished and all I wanted to do was burst into tears and lie down. However, the most important thing was still to be completed – collect the marathon medal that I have always coveted.
What followed was yet another emotional moment when I finally got to Arancha, a lovely leg massage from the volunteers at the finish line and then a self administered ice bath at home which was the key to my recovery. It was very uncomfortable and my penis was positively inverted by the end of it, but my limbs felt pretty good afterwards, so much so that I went for an 8km run 2 days later to stretch out.
The marathon was probably the greatest personal achievement of my travels so far and this maybe goes beyond my travels as well and I am definitely doing it again. Next time I will do some proper training though as I want to see how fast I can do it with better fitness levels and real preparation. Still, this was another positive result for mind over matter – the basis of how I live my life. If you want to do something, just do it.
By the way, marathon day also happened to coincide with my 1 year anniversary of being out of the UK – I clearly know how best to celebrate such occasions.
My final word on the marathon is a big up to the women who finished last. Fair play love but you couldn’t have been running much if you finished a total of 3hrs after me, but at least you finished it.
The next 3 weeks was an exercise in finishing up with the temporary life that I have made in Melbourne over the past 6 months. I moved out of my flat and in with Nick and his bird Sam (both amazing people and I am so grateful to them for letting me stay rent free for a couple of weeks), completed my contract at work and as usual had the odd night out on the lash.
One annoying thing is that since I completed my marathon my body has got it into its head (not mine) that it is ok to relax and put on some weight. I have told it that this just isn’t on but it isn’t having any of it, the w*nker, so over the next couple of weeks I will be taking it to task! It just isn’t cricket!!
Staying at Nick and Sam’s has been great. It is weird that after only one night there I felt more at home than I did in 5 months at my own place. I guess it all depends on the company that you share your environment with!
One amusing thing about staying there is that Nick has just got into remote control planes and on my first Saturday at his place he invited me along to go and ‘play’ with him. Here I was thinking that I may get to have a fly but it turned out that because the ground wasn’t perfect he just needed a body to hand launch the planes for him and somebody to carry the tool box (who carries a toolbox around a park?). It is easy enough to hand launch the planes but these planes are real weapons and about half the height of me in length.
When we got to our flight destination Nick started to prepare the plane for take-off whilst I stood there and tried to avoid the stares of all the ‘lads’ getting ready for their cricket match. It felt a bit like when you would walk though the council estates back home and all the cool kids would be there wearing their Nike Air Max whilst I hurried through, head down, wearing my Clarks trainers.
Still, my mum was right, Clarks are better for your feet and they are in good condition now, so I remembered this and held my head high as I prepared to launch the Cessna. My pride came crashing back down though as Nick then declared that he was too nervous to fly with so many potential victims around.
So we moved on and found another location just around the corner. There was nobody here except for a couple; he was practically slathering at the plane, whilst the wife was practicing throwing her javelin (as you do). I have to admit that his planes are pretty cool, especially with the fact that he attaches little cameras to each wing to film the plane’s eye view. It all suited my very geeky nature.
If you would like to see ‘our’ flight (you can see my curls at launch and me duck as he flies over my head whilst I am also filming the flight) you can view it on youtube by typing in ‘Park flight – small space!!!’. This will also give you a link to another clip of Nick crashing his plane into a lake and nearly having a spaz attack which is hilarious and one where he flew the plane into some overhead train cables and there is an explosion which destroyed his plane (one of many).
A couple of other events that I attended in my last few weeks of ‘life’ in Melbourne were the Derby Day, one of the biggest race days of the Melbourne Race Festival and a wedding.
Derby was great fun. I went along with Arancha, Nadia and Nat to the Flemington Race Course and as you would expect we got very merry. Overall I had a decent day, 2 winners and 2 places but most importantly I did not exceed my budget for losses, so I was happy; happier than Arancha who got fed up with my choices and decided to bet on her own horses only to see me win on the very next race.
The wedding of a colleague of Arancha’s was 2 days later and was out in the relative wilderness of the Dandenong Ranges. The location was lovely and it was nice to meet a lot of Arancha’s fellow teachers as I will be at their Xmas do next weekend. Seems odd that it is approaching Xmas and it is 30 degrees outside and I am looking at the sea.
Aussie weddings are different to ours and by all accounts this was a typical one. The wedding ceremony was at 4pm and thankfully was only about 30mins long. After that you are then left to amuse yourself for about 2 hours whilst the bridal party has the photos done and it isn’t until around 7pm that you are invited to join the reception and eat, although the speeches are first. The problem with this is that by the time you have eaten you are only left with about 2 hours to hit the dance floor and party to those wedding classics (yes they have the same ones here as well).
This leads me onto Aussie men and their claims that they are big drinkers – the truth is that they cannot drink for sh*t. Wedding timeframes like this are proof of it. They may argue that they have had 10 beers in a night “you pommie b*stard”, but they have been drinking from Scooner glasses, so the equivalent of about 6 pints.
However, big up to the sheila’s, they know how to drink.
The following week was my last at work, and what a great pleasure it was to tell people that I was now embarking upon a long weekend, a very long weekend, about 7 months to be exact. I wasn’t at all upset to be leaving Medibank, I mean who would be upset at leaving their job to travel? Still, I was very lucky yet again to have worked with some really excellent and talented people, some of which I will be staying in contact with.
I had 2 leaving meals, one on the Wednesday with 2 colleagues who would not be around on my final day and then the other on the Thursday with the wider team. There isn’t too much to say, lunch was nice, the company was good and I was presented with 2 souvenir books of Melbourne and Australia as a parting gift. My boss’ speech for me was funny when he told of how I came to the interview for the job with the most bags that he had ever seen for an interviewee and wearing a shirt bearing the telltale creases of one just out of the packet. He said that he knew I would be right for the job because I explained everything straight away and he knew that I would need a sense of humour to work within the department.
Basically, on the day of the interview I had nothing to wear, so I went into the city brought some trousers from a second hand shop (I didn’t actually mention this), a new shirt and tie (which the shop owner assured me that my body heat would cause the creases to drop out – I am not sure why I believed that) and some new shoes. As I didn’t know if I would get the job I planned to take some stuff back as I was a skint backpacker so I rocked up to the interview with all of these bags.
Funnily enough I did actually take the shoes back after the interview – I needed the $100.
I would like to say a big thank you to all of the guys at Medibank for making my time there good fun. It was frustrating at times (you guys know why – EDW) but I still take away some valuable learnings from the experience that we be very useful for my career in the future.
Now we get into the good stuff so you might to pause here to get yourself a cup of tea.
Finishing work meant that I would be flying to Port Lincoln, South Australia the very next day to go cage diving with Great White Sharks – a life dream. Definitely the best birthday present I am ever likely to receive – thanks again Lil’ C!
Via Adelaide, Arancha and I flew to Port Lincoln on the Friday and checked into our very liveable accommodation just on the outskirts of town. That night we had a couple of drinks and some dinner before retiring to bed early as we had to be up at 5:45am the next morning.
The alarm sounds and it is ‘Shark Day’. Buzzing and full of anticipation we board the boat ready for the 7am departure and take our seats as we begin our 2.5 hour journey out to Neptune Island. Getting onto the boat and seeing the cage on the back of it is a definite reality check moment but it only heightened our excitement.
During the journey out there we were treated to various breakfast items and drinks. Over the past 3 weeks I have been on a number of boat trips and I have to say that the food on offer is always of top quality. The Aussie’s can definitely put on a decent and healthy spread of food. Then again, they should for the price you pay for the trips. Still, I can just imagine how it would be in England on a cruise off the coast of Blackpool and getting a soggy egg and cress or tuna sarny, after the captain has ripped the cling-film off of those flimsy tin trays, with a bowl of cheese and onion crisps and a bottle panda cola on the side.
As we approached Neptune Island we could see seals on the rocks, a good sign. If the prey was there then hopefully the predators should be nearby. It was then cage lowering and chum time!! Over the dozens of documentaries that I have watched about sharks it is always the dumping of the chum into the ocean that is synonymous with the hunt for that elusive Great White that could be lurking just under the surface of the water.
For those of you who are not aware, Chum is ground up fish guts and blood. It gets pumped into the ocean to attract the sharks to simulate a potential injured or dying animal. I am pretty sure that I read somewhere that a Great White’s senses are so sharp that it can identify 1 part blood in 1 million parts water!! That is pretty awesome.
Along with the chum a number of huge fish innards were thrown overboard attached to ropes – essentially to act out a carrot and a stick scenario for when they arrived.
A couple of hours passed by as everyone kept their eyes on the ocean waiting for the first sighting, but a few people also used it as an opportunity to fish and they caught a number of decent sized fish. It was eerily quiet as we all hung around staring out into the dark waters that had streams of blood on the surface from the chum and that silence was only broken by the staff banging and splashing the waters to mimic an animal in distress.
Finally, the shout that we have all heard on tv went up, “SHARK!”. There it was in front of us, my first (and only as it turned out) Great White Shark, approximately 10 feet long and a beautiful dark grey in colour along the top of it’s body.
The first dive group jumped into the cage and were treated to the shark approaching the cage a couple of times and thrashing about right in front of them. As they exited the cage after about 20mins you could see it written all over their faces – pure amazement. All I wanted to do was get in there.
We were in the third group and by the time it was our turn the second group had been in there for 30mins with no sightings at all and I wasn’t hopeful.
I was first into the cage and whilst down there all alone two things struck me:
1)It was so cold – it is the Southern Ocean after all
2)If a shark does turn up now out of the murkiness and I am going to be really scared
Soon I was joined by the 5 other divers and we hung there in the freezing waters praying that our luck would be in. At one point we saw a fish that was the size of my thumb, I looked over at Arancha who had also spotted it and I could tell by her eyes that she could appreciate the irony of this as much as I could. There were some other big fish that came over to inspect us but alas there were no more Great Whites to be seen on this day. The only other things to happen whilst down in the cage was a girl slipping off the top of the ladder and landing on her arse at the bottom of the cage because of her weight belt (I found that really funny) and a fresh release of chum being swept into the cage by the current and some of it getting caught up in my now long flowing locks (which Arancha found really funny and refused to help get it out).
After another hour or 2 it was time to set off back to the mainland. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement but I can at least console myself with the fact that I have still seen a Great White with my own eyes and that is still something pretty rare and inspiring. Another consoling point was that I will be passing back by this way in 2 months time from my Western and Southern Aus road trip so there is no reason why we can’t come and try again.
I am a believer in karma and positive energy and I believe that I am doing well in the good karma stakes at the minute so I was pleased that karma presented me with an opportunity whilst on our way back to port especially after highlighting above that I would be passing again.
One of the staff walked past me with her folder and piece of card fell out of it and landed by my foot. I picked it up but before handing it back to her I read it first. I was pleased to see that it was a voucher for a free cruise on the boat to be used before Apr 2012 – I am passing by in Feb 2012.
Now there is an argument that says that I should’ve handed this back to the woman and this point was more than likely shared by the passenger who saw me pick it up, read it, smile and put it under my towel.
However, I was torn:
a)You can take the Lambert lad out of Leicester but you cannot take the Leicester and the Lambert out of the lad – I don’t call it theft, I call it opportunistic
b)I believe in my karma stakes and I was just taking what was due
c)Plus, the fellow passenger met my eyes and I could tell that he knew the rules of grassing on a G!!!
I was further satisfied with my karma and my decision when the staff member returned later and handed us a half price voucher to return and cage dive at a later date – which I was hopeful of receiving but wasn’t sure if we would get it because even though we hadn’t seen a shark in the cage we had seen one on the day which is the trip policy.
So the result is that I will phone up and find out if my full voucher is valid for a cage dive, and if it is we are quids in as I will ebay the other voucher, if it doesn’t include the cage dive I am also quids in as I will ebay that voucher and use the other. I love karma!!
So that was that, we got back to land, had dinner and a few beers to commiserate but still managed to have a really fun night.
The next day it was back to Melbourne and then the following day I was back at the airport to fly off to Sydney to be reunited with 2 of the hombres – Mr Latner and Mr Eggbert – after 13 months apart.
I got to Sydney around 4pm on the Monday afternoon and headed over to Lauren Greenall’s place, which is where I would be crashing for a few nights whilst we were all in Sydney. (Greenall is my mate from London who now lives out here and I stayed with her back in March when I first arrived in Aus, but you all know this as you are avid followers of the blog!!)
That night Lauren and I went out for some food and a few drinks.
Early the next morning I was up, out of the house and heading down to the hostel where the lads would be shortly arriving. What follows is an account of the lads’ roadtrip up the east coast of Australia – enjoy.
Day 1 – Sydney:
• We are reunited after 13 months apart. We embraced, enquired as to how we are all doing and then settled back into the same old routine. I wasn’t surprised to find that after being away for so long it seemed like I had only seen them last week. We have all been mates for nearly 20yrs now and all we have ever had is an easy going, take the p*ss out of each other relationship
• First thing we did was the obligatory sightseeing around Circular Quay – the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Sydney Opera House and get lots of photos of us all together
• 11am and it is time for the first pint. You may consider this as a waste as the lads had just arrived in Sydney but in my defence I did take them to a pub in The Rocks area of Sydney which is the location of the first buildings ever to be constructed by the convicts!
• Took a ferry over Sydney Harbour to Manley Beach. This is my favourite beach in Sydney and the lads got their first taste of the Pacific Ocean. Literally 5mins after walking onto the beach we headed to the pub and settled back for a few drinks.
• During this time we were approached by an old lady from the southern United States who wanted to take a picture of 3 genuine Aussie lads having a beer and then asked us if we had seen Chuck, her husband, who had gone missing. We had to keep an eye out for a fat (of course he is, he’s a yank) man wearing a yellow t-shirt and blue shorts! We also saw a group of South East Asian school kids who has trousers so short that they looked like a group of Michael Jackson’s with their black shoes and white socks
• Back into town to get changed and then met up at the Sydney Opera Bar (at the Opera house and looks out over the harbour and the bridge) along with Greenall and Helen (a friend who by coincidence would be on her hen do in Byron Bay this Sat when we would also be there)
• Boozy night which culminated in Egg having a dance off with some backpackers in their hostel nightclub
• There was a funny Latner story from that night. In the hostel you needed a card to get into the bathrooms; Lats apparently went to the loo but forgot his card. After banging on the bedroom door for ages Egg woke up and let him in so that Lats could get the card. He went back to the toilet and realised that he had gone into the bedroom, walked around and did not pick up the required card. Once again he found himself trying to wake Egg up and when he finally did, he went straight to bed. The result – his p*ssed the bed and he was on top bunk.
Day 2 – Sydney:
• Met up around midday and headed off to Bondi Beach to swim, bodysurf and splash water into each others’ faces.
• Took a walk from Bondi along the cliff edge to take in the Sculptures By The Sea exhibition – an annual exhibition of art along the cliff tops
• On our way up we passed an exclusive bar which overlooked Bondi Beach and there in front of us on the balcony sipping champagne was none other than Mel B, her husband and Monty Panesar (England cricketer) – an odd combination
Mel B quickly disappeared indoors but we were able to get a photo of Monty with Mel B’s husband
To quote Egg, this is how we got the picture:
“Alright Mont-eh, give us a picture son”
• Took in the delights of the exhibition which was really good. Personal highlight was this little hobbit type house and Egg making us take a picture of him in the doorway with his bare arse just peeping around the corner of it
• Out that night on the lash in the Kings Cross area of Sydney. We couldn’t get into the best club as I was wearing my thongs (flip-flops) which in my defence Greenall told me would be ok. So we found ourselves in this crappy sports bar playing pool with 2 couples from the back country, the guys hated us for some reason and there was also an old alcoholic woman that would just not leave us alone. I finished up at 4am as I was flying the next day, the lads carried on until about 5:30am and got lost going home
To prove that the guys hated us, after I had left the lads had a photo taken with the others and as Latner put his arm around one of the guys he quickly shifted and told Lats “don’t you f*cking touch me...” – ha ha!
Day 3 – Lennox Head
• We had booked our flights separately and the airline then messed us around meaning that I flew up to Ballina (the north end of New South Wales) 24 hours before the lads
• I was due to pick up the camper van the next morning so I headed over to Lennox Head, a cool little surfing town with one of the top 10 surf beaches in the world, checked into a hostel and wasted my evening chatting with other travellers and getting some sleep stored up for the coming 2 weeks
Day 4 – Nimbin
• I awoke bright and early to a warm sunny day and took a leisurely jog along the beach before checking out and heading back to the airport to pick up the camper van – our home for the next 2 weeks
• It was still early and I had about 6 hours to kill before the lads landed so I headed over to some cafe that the campervan lady recommended, had some lunch and sat back and read for the afternoon
• It was now time to get back to the airport so that we could begin the roadtrip. Backing out of the parking space at the cafe I was greeted with a very loud bang – I’d only had the van a couple of hours and already I managed to reverse it into a road sign that I swear wasn’t there before. Luckily there was no damage and we had full insurance so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway
In my defence this is why I am reversing out very slowly as Egg films me at the beginning of the roadtrip dvd – after all I was back in the campervan car park and that is not the place to have another bump!
• We christened the van Gaz because it has a sort of high top back which resembled Lloyd (only the lads will get this joke). The great thing about the high top back was that this was to be Latner’s coffin type sleeping space. It was decided that he should have the ‘prime’ sleeping spot because it was advised that this sleeping space was not suitable for small children and Latner is bigger than us two
• We were officially on the road and first stop was Nimbin – Australia’s hippy version of Amsterdam. You will recall that I was here back in March with my German buddies and I met Nimbin Kate in the museum, swigging her vodka. I wanted to lads to experience such cultural delights
• As we drove to Nimbin, which is located in the misty hills away from the coast, we saw something stretched out across the entire width of the lane. Before I had any time to react I had driven over a huge snake, driving over the tail and head! I had no choice, the roads were wet, it was raining, we were travelling at a decent speed so it was the snake or us
• We spent the night free camping in a car park whilst fully taking in the local culture!!
Day 5 – Byron Bay
• We left Nimbin in the morning following a nice breakfast at a place where Lats played with an equal of his – a dog that kept bringing the stick back to him and if it couldn’t find the stick it would pick up another and bring that to him
• The first thing we did was head to a swimming hole out in the countryside. We approached it from the top of a waterfall which we had to climb down in order to get into the water. Unfortunately it was only Latner and I that went for a swim because when we were crossing the rocks to the edge of the waterfall I noticed a small leech on my foot which I showed to Egg. He then saw a small one that had attached itself to his foot and I have never seen someone panic so much over such a minute organism, I honestly thought he was going to have a heart attack! Anyway, after getting it off he flatly refused to go into the water which left just the 2 of us to frolic
• The afternoon saw us arrive in Byron Bay, check into a nice caravan park and head to the beach. Whilst in the sea trying to perfect our bodysurfing technique we saw a large shadow cover the area that we were stood in and before we knew it a kite surfers huge kite came crashing down into the sea just missing Egg – why is it if your mates nearly get hurt it is really funny?
• That evening was our first night cooking our own food – a nightly ritual that we would come to really look forward to and a time when we could sit back and enjoy the fruits of our cooking labour. Every meal consisted of meat and pasta. We would enjoy all sorts of steak, kangaroo, sausage and chicken over the next few days. Egg has got a real talent as meat cooker and should open a kebab shop!
• It is fair to say that we got smashed on that night out in Byron. We ran into the girls on their hen do at around midnight after I heard Greenall laughing from the other side of the road (big mouth!!) and we proceeded to all get as drunk as skunks
Day 6 – Beerwah
• We left Byron and stopped off for lunch in Surfers Paradise
• The aim was to get to Beerwah (a small place north of Brisbane) and spend the evening there before visiting Australia Zoo, the spiritual home of Steve Irwin, the next day
• The bonus of hanging around in Beerwah for the afternoon is that it is also the home of the Glasshouse Mountains. We had some spare time so Lats and I ventured up to the lookout to get a fantastic view of the mountains. Unfortunately Egg’s chronic fear of heights (which you must get sorted out matey) meant that we left him further down in the middle of nowhere watching some kangaroos in a field
• Evening time was taken up with a BBQ and hanging around the van taking the p*ss out of each other
Day 7 – Australia Zoo and Noosa Heads
• Australia Zoo was great and I rank it as the number 2 zoo in the world behind Singapore Zoo. We were all a little gutted to see that if we had arrived a day later we would have been at the zoo on Steve Irwin Day and that would’ve guaranteed us a sighting of Bindi Irwin – the lads appreciate what a special treat that would’ve been! We consoled ourselves with a good time watching the crocodile show in the huge show arena, feeding kangaroos and having photos with them pretending to take them from behind and generally melting in the sun
• We drove on to Noosa Heads which is a very upmarket coastal town set around a number of waterways and a national park and it is lovely
• The usual afternoon and evening entailed – check into a cool caravan park located by the water, bodysurf at the beach, BBQ our dinner and then head out for a few drinks
Day 8 – Hervey Bay
• Today we headed off to Hervey Bay, which would be our base whilst we spent some time on Fraser Island
• We arrived mid-afternoon and checked into the Scarness Caravan Park, which was probably my favourite location that we stayed in. Our site was literally 20 steps away from the beach which is how I like to live my life. The owners of the park were Phil and Marilyn and they were really nice but they loved to talk. When checking in I noticed a calendar of the 2 of them in China and enquired to Marilyn about their trip as I am heading there next March. She proceeded to tell us all about the trip over the next 20mins.
We parked up on the site that Phil directed us to and then Latner made the mistake of mentioning China to him which meant we were treated to an extended version of the same stories over about 30 more minutes
• We had booked our Fraser Island trip through the park so we wasted the remainder of the day in our front garden that was the beach
Day 9 – Fraser Island
• We were picked up bright and early and taken to the port to catch the ferry over to Fraser – a world heritage site and the largest sand island in the world
• Egg was feeling a little rough so he went and sat inside for the ferry ride which meant that he missed the sight of 2 sea turtles swimming about just below us, 2 of 6 Latner and I would see that day (including 1 dead one)
• As we disembarked the ferry and prepared to join up with our tour group Egg dropped the bombshell that he was feeling very unwell and would be going back to Hervey Bay. We were obviously gutted that he would not be joining us but not as gutted as Egg was when we had to get a $50 taxi back to the van after receiving no refund from the tour company – I reckon that was the most expensive ferry ride in history!!
• So it was left to me and Lats to explore and enjoy what Fraser had to offer. We were on a coach trip with about 30 other people and the first thing to do was the say hello to everybody. Our group was as expected very international but one person stuck out straight away – Canada. He was a lone traveller and he was a nob, an opinion held by a number of people on the trip. We did our best to steer clear of him and he was annoying personified
• Our first day consisted of a rainforest walk (the only place in the world where a rainforest grows on sand) where we filled our water bottles up with fresh 100 yr old water from the creek, a visit to Indian Head which is a lookout over the ocean and was also the sight of a horrendous incident in the past when the indigenous residents of the island where forced to commit suicide or be pushed from the cliff tops by the wonderful white people, and we also spent some time at Eli Creek
In order to get to Indian Head from the Eurong Beach Resort which is where we lunched and would also be where we stayed for the night you needed to navigate along the beach highway – that’s right, the beach is a legal highway and an airstrip all in one, it has its own traffic cop and he will give you a ticket if you break the speed limit
Through all of this we avoided Canada
• As evening approached we went back to the resort and were handed our room keys. We were to be in a room of 4, meaning that even if Egg was here we would still have a spare bed and I bet you can guess who was allocated that bed can’t you? CANADA.
We couldn’t help but laugh to ourselves but we did our best to chat to him and invite him out to the pub with us but to no avail, he decided on a game of tennis with a German dude and an early night.
As usual with these trips it is only the English that seem to congregate in the pub at night and this was the case on this trip. We had a good night and got to know a few people a little better including Stuart Adam, an economics genius who is the expert that the UK news programmes will go to when they want an expert opinion
We retired around midnight and kept Canada awake with a joint snoring effort
Day 10 – Fraser Island
• The second day on Fraser Island was by far the best. We visited 2 of the many natural lakes that exist on Fraser and each one was its own version of paradise
• Lake McKenzie was first – pristine white sand and clear blue water, followed by morning tea
• Lake Wabbi was next – to get to Wabbi you must first trek for 2kms through the rainforest, then tackle a desert like area before finally getting to the top of a huge sand-dune which far below has an emerald green lake with a rainforest backdrop. It was like something out of Jurassic Park.
We were warned by our guide that we should not run down the dune and dive into the lake as it has made paraplegics out of more travellers than anywhere else on the island – so you can guess what Canada did
The sand on the dune was so hot that it felt as though our feet were blistering, but as we were second to the lake after Canada we then had the joy of watching every other person stagger down in agony towards the lakes edge. Each person that got down would run into the water and then turn around to also enjoy everybody else’s pain
• That was it for our Fraser Island trip, we headed back to the port and were reunited with Egg back at the campsite. That night Lats and I ventured out to the pub for a few drinks in probably the quietest town ever
Day 11 – Rockhampton
• Whilst on Fraser Island we were told about the rodeo that takes place every Friday night in Rockhampton, the beef capital on Australia, so we decided to check it out and it turned out to be my favourite night
• We arrived late afternoon and got straight on it. We started off by doing a Gazza style dentist chair at the campsite and the night went on in that fashion
• We visited a few bars and then onto the rodeo. The rodeo itself was quite funny, it was full of real cowboys strutting about like real men and the steak sangas on offer were really good.
As for the action I didn’t like it – it is just animal cruelty. My favourite parts of the rodeo were when the bulls got their own back and when the little ponies hurt and made the child cowboys cry
• Afterwards we hit Rockhampton’s main nightclub which doubles as a strip joint. Straight down to business as Egg and I bought Lats a bartop dance with the highlight being the motorboat that he got to act out on her huge chest. The night was messy, we met some cowboys, some very rough bogan (pikey) women and we drank a lot whilst dancing the night away!
• We found out at a later date that Latner had once again p*ssed the bed that night – and he was sleeping above me and Egg
Day 12 – Airlie Beach
• This was a beast of a driving day especially considering the night out we had had
• We got to Airlie Beach, the gateway to the Whitsunday Islands and a wonderful place surrounded by a turquoise sea late in the afternoon to find out that it was schoolies week – the week after high school graduation – meaning lots of drunk and loud teenagers
• That night we cooked up a feast and then went to a few bars in town
Day 13 – Airlie Beach
• First mission of the day was to book a cruise for the next day – my birthday!
• The rest of the day was spent hanging out at the lagoon, as we were now in stinger (jellyfish) territory so we could not enter the sea without donning a stinger suit, followed by bird feeding at 4pm at the camp site. Now it may sound gay that we went to the 4pm bird feeing slot but it was good. We got to hand feed the rainbow lorikeets that would land on our hands and heads and now that we had the bug we managed to tempt over about 20 ducks and 5 cockatoos to our caravan and hand fed them too! Yeah, that’s what real men do
Day 14 – Whitehaven Beach and my 32nd birthday
• We were up early ready for our 7am pick up and the lads had done me a great service by bringing over a number of birthday cards from back home which was a nice treat. Thanks for the cards people and big thanks to dad for the poem and a drawing of his favourite child – the cat. Homo.
Also big up to Latner for the present he gave to me
• The cruise itself was really good. The day was spent sunbathing, drinking beer, eating good food, snorkelling and spending some time playing football and rugby on the pristine white sands of Whitehaven Beach
• As we prepared for my birthday night out back at the van the lads gave me a song to listen to whilst they prepared my birthday present. The song was titled ‘Dick in a box’ and imagine my surprise when the lads then came around the corner naked except for, yep that’s right, their dick’s in a box. Latner was sporting a wine box and Egg a crisp box. My surprise was nothing compared to the 3 schoolies who happened to walk past at the wrong / right moment – love you boys!
• We had a boozy night out as expected in which I sported a present from Moggy, one of the homies back in the UK; a Mika t-shirt because I look like him. My hair is actually lot longer now but I can still appreciate the resemblance; not.
It was quite amusing to overhear some people who actually thought that I was wearing it for real
Days 15 & 16 – Mission Beach
• Mission Beach is located just 140kms from our final destination of Cairns, meaning that over the past 2 weeks we would’ve driven approximately 2,000kms and it is also the protected site of the Cassowary bird, a bird in my opinion that proves that birds evolved from dinosaurs. Unfortunately during our 2 days there we were not lucky enough to see any in the wild
• Our 2 days were very a chilled affair of the beach, BBQ and a few beers
Day 17 – Cairns
• Today was the day that we said our goodbyes to Gaz, our faithful friend who had housed us for the past 14 days, we were sad but at the same time also looking forward to our own beds, especially Latner
• We booked ourselves into a hostel opposite the lagoon and harbour, sorted a trip to the Great Barrier Reef for the next day and had nothing left to do but go to the pub
• We drank the afternoon away, played pool (yes Latner I admit to the fact that you beat me) and then went for a curry with good intentions of carrying on late into the night
• Back at the room to get changed we were greeted with cool air-con and a comfy bed each. Bearing in mind that it was 7pm we awoke the next morning at 7am! Looks like we have definitely reached our 30’s!!
Day 18 – The Great Barrier Reef
• We all really enjoyed our day out at the Reef. We got to snorkel at 2 reef sites and the second one was fantastic, further enhanced by a trip on a glass bottom boat. We saw a lot of marine life and some absolutely massive clams
• There were 2 stand out items from the trip
1)Our stinger suits made us look like real ninjas. We spent a good hour or 2 pretending to be ninjas and took many photos of us mock fighting and posing like the warriors we wished we were to the confusion of the other travellers
2)Maurice AKA Commando. Maurice was a big black ex military US citizen and a typical American (you know that I love them). When the safety briefing took place he was the one that gave out a big “Yeah” when everyone was asked if they were having a good time, he pumped both arms when informed that it was a non smoking boat (what does it really matter to him if someone is having a fag at the back?) and when the dive brief was given he was sat at the front asking dumbass questions and not getting the jokes even though we later found out that he was only snorkelling; he shouldn’t have even been at that briefing.
The moment that annoyed me the most was when he was snorkelling, got into trouble and the staff had to swim out to help him and to remind him that you should not be standing on the coral reef as it takes years and years to recover.
Honestly, what went wrong with that country?
• Upon returning to Cairns we decided to join the hostel bar crawl as I wanted to show Latner a true backpacker night out. During the past few days Egg had decided that enough was enough and he was now t-total and aiming for a healthier lifestyle (???) so it was up to the two of us to fly the flag.
We had a great night out and the fact that we downed a ½ litre bottle of JD before we began set the tone for the evening. We met some cool people whilst out and about but when I saw Latner’s eyes rolling in his head I knew it was time to call it a night.
We got back to the room which was pitch black but Latner insisted on leaving the door open so that he could show the now awake Egg how he could bend the light coming in from the corridor.
He then p*ssed the bed for the third and final time
So that was that, the trip had come to an end. We all flew out of Cairns to Brisbane and went our separate ways. I flew onto Melbourne and the lads after a day in Brisbane flew onto Singapore for 2 days and then back to Blighty.
I would just like to say a huge thank you to you both for coming out and visiting me. It was a long way to come and an expensive trip but I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did and after now being away for 13 months it was a real treat.
To the lads back home Latner’s new name is now either Scrapes or Taps depending on the situation – I will leave it up to Egg to explain. As he hates both please try to use them going forward.
So I now find myself back in Melbourne wasting away the next couple of weeks until Arancha and I hit the road for our travel adventures – I can’t wait.
Ok, that’s enough as I can type no more.
Oh one last thing, I came out of Melbourne’s Flinders Street station last night and I saw a backpacker boring 2 dressed up girls chatting about some rubbish – it was Canada. With my head down I rushed past, Latner will appreciate exactly why.
Bye.
The past few weeks has seen me travel through 4 of Australia’s States and cover a distance of over 4,000kms. Unfortunately, I now find myself back where it all began in Melbourne but it is fine, I know that in only 2.5 more weeks I will be back on the road for good.
I am currently homeless so this post comes to you from the front room of my good Aussie mate Nick ‘he wishes he was English’ Burt. His place is amazing and just the sort of gaff I would like to eventually find myself in. As I type this I look out over his balcony with a view of the Melbourne city skyscrape to the right, the coastal suburb of St Kilda and Luna Park directly in front of me (a small theme park housing the world’s oldest roller coaster) and surrounding all this, the ocean.
So here we go, I will do my best to be brief but there can be no guarantees!
Back to the beginning of October and it was the AFL (Aussie Rules) Final. Tradition dictates that you should attend a BBQ with your mates and get drunk whilst watching the game. I was invited to the house of a friend of my mate Winslow (footy mate from Grimsby) and had a great day. To summarise, the guy had a pool table, a number of cool lad gadgets on his veranda, 3 widescreen tv’s and lots of alcohol. The game kicked off at 2pm and I got to bed at 5am after mixing a lot of different alcohols and was rewarded with hangover number 9 of my life the next day. It was not pretty.
The game itself was quite good but the highlight was the pre-match entertainment – Meatloaf murdering his own songs during a 12 min set which was slated all over the media, especially due to his $600,000 fee.
The next week was taken up with preparations for that coming Sunday’s Melbourne Marathon. I have no problem admitting that I was terribly nervous and a little scared as the day approached but I considered not completing it, after all, failure is not an option.
The day before the race I attended a birthday get together for Winslow’s girlfriend Rae with Arancha. The do was at the Belgium Beer Gardens in Melbourne and I did not enjoy it – I was on lime and soda! By chance there happened to be 4 previous Melbourne Marathon runners in the birthday invitees and they all had some great advice for me which I readily took on board.
One guy, Andrew, gave me 3 pieces of information that I couldn’t help but think “bloody hell” as we discussed them:
1)You must do the run in your training gear – comfort is everything during a marathon
2)The energy gels are great and I assume that you have trained with them, as that is essential
3)I trained for a year for my marathon and once you get past the 30km mark you are in unknown territory but you know you can do it because it is only another 12km’s
The reason I got scared was:
1)Even though I knew this fact I ignored my own and his advice and only that morning brought some nice new running shorts and vest which I was determined to wear
2)I had energy gels but I have never trained with them before. In fact, I have only tasted one once before. To minimise the adverse effect that they may have had I took the gels without caffeine in them as I do not have much caffeine in my diet and I did not want a dodgy belly
3)He assumed (quite rightly) that I had done a lot of training for this. I daren’t tell him that I only decided 5 weeks ago to enter and that my previous longest run ever was the half marathon I did two weeks earlier. I really couldn’t be doing with that raised eyebrow look that said you are an idiot, I was nervous enough as it was.
That night I carb loaded and got a very early night. I was awoken an hour before my 5:30am alarm call by a text from my mother wishing me good luck!! I had to giggle to myself that her best intentions had robbed me of an essential extra hour sleep but that was that, I was now awake and scared shitless. Love you Ma.
I got to the MCG (start line) via taxi at 6am and had a good hour to prepare myself for the upcoming challenge. The all important preparations consisted off some pasta, half a banana, a poo (essential) and covering myself in Vaseline (even more essential as chaffing is a killer, especially joggers nip!)
Whilst getting ready I saw one of Arancha’s uni mates from Sydney who I had met the day before and he had some last words of encouragement for me which helped a lot.
So that was that, judgement time was upon me. Just before the race began the guy over the tannoy announced that the days oldest competitor was 83 years old – that statement was enough for me to know that I had to finish the race, if he can then so can I.
I won’t lie, it was really hard, but I still enjoyed every moment of it except for the last 5kms that seemed to last a life time. My way of tackling the marathon and getting over the finish line was to feed off of everybody else’s pain and suffering. It may sound harsh but surely that is what all sportspeople do in order to win – they psychologically get one over on their opponent.
For example, at 8kms I looked over to the other side of Albert Park lake, about 3kms behind me and saw people running – that’s a boost, you are beating a lot of people already; at 10kms a fit looking guy broke down and was hobbling and crying – my thought was he has trained too hard and his body has let him down, you should’ve done 5 weeks like me. There were other occasions on the course where you loop around the roads, so as you are running down one side and people are coming up the other you know that they still have to cover what you have just done – gutted.
I specifically remember crossing the 21km mark (halfway) and thinking that I was now in unknown territory as I had never run this far before but it was fine, I was feeling good and the occasion and my i-pod was keeping me going. Oddly enough, I started to feel a little rough around 28kms and at that exact point I noticed Andrew (the guy who gave me the advice at Rae’s bday party) in the crowd. I gave him a thumbs up, he applauded me and I cannot describe what a boost it gave to me. It is odd, but that smile from him alone got me through the next 10kms and I had only met him the day before.
As I got to the 37kms mark I really began to hurt. All I could do was put one foot in the front of the other and block every other thing out. I remember one guy stub his toe because he wasn’t lifting his legs up enough and I wanted to ask if he was ok but I couldn’t even muster the words to speak. It didn’t matter because within 5 seconds the guy was out of it, that little stumble stopped him completely in his tracks. It is really hard to describe the feeling of not having the capability to do anything more than just keep running forward towards your destination.
After what seemed like a 5km eternity I got to within 500 metres of the finish line. At that point I heard Arancha calling out from the crowd and I saw her and nearly lost it. A lump appeared in my throat but being the well spoken individual that I am I managed only to tell her that “I am f*cked” and carried on past her.
It’s odd that I managed to run 42.2kms in 3hrs 43mins, but the moment that I got over that finish line and stopped running I couldn’t breathe at all and I started to get very emotional. I have always wanted to test myself by running a marathon and I had done it. I think the worry of failure to complete it, which was my biggest fear, came to the surface after I had finished and all I wanted to do was burst into tears and lie down. However, the most important thing was still to be completed – collect the marathon medal that I have always coveted.
What followed was yet another emotional moment when I finally got to Arancha, a lovely leg massage from the volunteers at the finish line and then a self administered ice bath at home which was the key to my recovery. It was very uncomfortable and my penis was positively inverted by the end of it, but my limbs felt pretty good afterwards, so much so that I went for an 8km run 2 days later to stretch out.
The marathon was probably the greatest personal achievement of my travels so far and this maybe goes beyond my travels as well and I am definitely doing it again. Next time I will do some proper training though as I want to see how fast I can do it with better fitness levels and real preparation. Still, this was another positive result for mind over matter – the basis of how I live my life. If you want to do something, just do it.
By the way, marathon day also happened to coincide with my 1 year anniversary of being out of the UK – I clearly know how best to celebrate such occasions.
My final word on the marathon is a big up to the women who finished last. Fair play love but you couldn’t have been running much if you finished a total of 3hrs after me, but at least you finished it.
The next 3 weeks was an exercise in finishing up with the temporary life that I have made in Melbourne over the past 6 months. I moved out of my flat and in with Nick and his bird Sam (both amazing people and I am so grateful to them for letting me stay rent free for a couple of weeks), completed my contract at work and as usual had the odd night out on the lash.
One annoying thing is that since I completed my marathon my body has got it into its head (not mine) that it is ok to relax and put on some weight. I have told it that this just isn’t on but it isn’t having any of it, the w*nker, so over the next couple of weeks I will be taking it to task! It just isn’t cricket!!
Staying at Nick and Sam’s has been great. It is weird that after only one night there I felt more at home than I did in 5 months at my own place. I guess it all depends on the company that you share your environment with!
One amusing thing about staying there is that Nick has just got into remote control planes and on my first Saturday at his place he invited me along to go and ‘play’ with him. Here I was thinking that I may get to have a fly but it turned out that because the ground wasn’t perfect he just needed a body to hand launch the planes for him and somebody to carry the tool box (who carries a toolbox around a park?). It is easy enough to hand launch the planes but these planes are real weapons and about half the height of me in length.
When we got to our flight destination Nick started to prepare the plane for take-off whilst I stood there and tried to avoid the stares of all the ‘lads’ getting ready for their cricket match. It felt a bit like when you would walk though the council estates back home and all the cool kids would be there wearing their Nike Air Max whilst I hurried through, head down, wearing my Clarks trainers.
Still, my mum was right, Clarks are better for your feet and they are in good condition now, so I remembered this and held my head high as I prepared to launch the Cessna. My pride came crashing back down though as Nick then declared that he was too nervous to fly with so many potential victims around.
So we moved on and found another location just around the corner. There was nobody here except for a couple; he was practically slathering at the plane, whilst the wife was practicing throwing her javelin (as you do). I have to admit that his planes are pretty cool, especially with the fact that he attaches little cameras to each wing to film the plane’s eye view. It all suited my very geeky nature.
If you would like to see ‘our’ flight (you can see my curls at launch and me duck as he flies over my head whilst I am also filming the flight) you can view it on youtube by typing in ‘Park flight – small space!!!’. This will also give you a link to another clip of Nick crashing his plane into a lake and nearly having a spaz attack which is hilarious and one where he flew the plane into some overhead train cables and there is an explosion which destroyed his plane (one of many).
A couple of other events that I attended in my last few weeks of ‘life’ in Melbourne were the Derby Day, one of the biggest race days of the Melbourne Race Festival and a wedding.
Derby was great fun. I went along with Arancha, Nadia and Nat to the Flemington Race Course and as you would expect we got very merry. Overall I had a decent day, 2 winners and 2 places but most importantly I did not exceed my budget for losses, so I was happy; happier than Arancha who got fed up with my choices and decided to bet on her own horses only to see me win on the very next race.
The wedding of a colleague of Arancha’s was 2 days later and was out in the relative wilderness of the Dandenong Ranges. The location was lovely and it was nice to meet a lot of Arancha’s fellow teachers as I will be at their Xmas do next weekend. Seems odd that it is approaching Xmas and it is 30 degrees outside and I am looking at the sea.
Aussie weddings are different to ours and by all accounts this was a typical one. The wedding ceremony was at 4pm and thankfully was only about 30mins long. After that you are then left to amuse yourself for about 2 hours whilst the bridal party has the photos done and it isn’t until around 7pm that you are invited to join the reception and eat, although the speeches are first. The problem with this is that by the time you have eaten you are only left with about 2 hours to hit the dance floor and party to those wedding classics (yes they have the same ones here as well).
This leads me onto Aussie men and their claims that they are big drinkers – the truth is that they cannot drink for sh*t. Wedding timeframes like this are proof of it. They may argue that they have had 10 beers in a night “you pommie b*stard”, but they have been drinking from Scooner glasses, so the equivalent of about 6 pints.
However, big up to the sheila’s, they know how to drink.
The following week was my last at work, and what a great pleasure it was to tell people that I was now embarking upon a long weekend, a very long weekend, about 7 months to be exact. I wasn’t at all upset to be leaving Medibank, I mean who would be upset at leaving their job to travel? Still, I was very lucky yet again to have worked with some really excellent and talented people, some of which I will be staying in contact with.
I had 2 leaving meals, one on the Wednesday with 2 colleagues who would not be around on my final day and then the other on the Thursday with the wider team. There isn’t too much to say, lunch was nice, the company was good and I was presented with 2 souvenir books of Melbourne and Australia as a parting gift. My boss’ speech for me was funny when he told of how I came to the interview for the job with the most bags that he had ever seen for an interviewee and wearing a shirt bearing the telltale creases of one just out of the packet. He said that he knew I would be right for the job because I explained everything straight away and he knew that I would need a sense of humour to work within the department.
Basically, on the day of the interview I had nothing to wear, so I went into the city brought some trousers from a second hand shop (I didn’t actually mention this), a new shirt and tie (which the shop owner assured me that my body heat would cause the creases to drop out – I am not sure why I believed that) and some new shoes. As I didn’t know if I would get the job I planned to take some stuff back as I was a skint backpacker so I rocked up to the interview with all of these bags.
Funnily enough I did actually take the shoes back after the interview – I needed the $100.
I would like to say a big thank you to all of the guys at Medibank for making my time there good fun. It was frustrating at times (you guys know why – EDW) but I still take away some valuable learnings from the experience that we be very useful for my career in the future.
Now we get into the good stuff so you might to pause here to get yourself a cup of tea.
Finishing work meant that I would be flying to Port Lincoln, South Australia the very next day to go cage diving with Great White Sharks – a life dream. Definitely the best birthday present I am ever likely to receive – thanks again Lil’ C!
Via Adelaide, Arancha and I flew to Port Lincoln on the Friday and checked into our very liveable accommodation just on the outskirts of town. That night we had a couple of drinks and some dinner before retiring to bed early as we had to be up at 5:45am the next morning.
The alarm sounds and it is ‘Shark Day’. Buzzing and full of anticipation we board the boat ready for the 7am departure and take our seats as we begin our 2.5 hour journey out to Neptune Island. Getting onto the boat and seeing the cage on the back of it is a definite reality check moment but it only heightened our excitement.
During the journey out there we were treated to various breakfast items and drinks. Over the past 3 weeks I have been on a number of boat trips and I have to say that the food on offer is always of top quality. The Aussie’s can definitely put on a decent and healthy spread of food. Then again, they should for the price you pay for the trips. Still, I can just imagine how it would be in England on a cruise off the coast of Blackpool and getting a soggy egg and cress or tuna sarny, after the captain has ripped the cling-film off of those flimsy tin trays, with a bowl of cheese and onion crisps and a bottle panda cola on the side.
As we approached Neptune Island we could see seals on the rocks, a good sign. If the prey was there then hopefully the predators should be nearby. It was then cage lowering and chum time!! Over the dozens of documentaries that I have watched about sharks it is always the dumping of the chum into the ocean that is synonymous with the hunt for that elusive Great White that could be lurking just under the surface of the water.
For those of you who are not aware, Chum is ground up fish guts and blood. It gets pumped into the ocean to attract the sharks to simulate a potential injured or dying animal. I am pretty sure that I read somewhere that a Great White’s senses are so sharp that it can identify 1 part blood in 1 million parts water!! That is pretty awesome.
Along with the chum a number of huge fish innards were thrown overboard attached to ropes – essentially to act out a carrot and a stick scenario for when they arrived.
A couple of hours passed by as everyone kept their eyes on the ocean waiting for the first sighting, but a few people also used it as an opportunity to fish and they caught a number of decent sized fish. It was eerily quiet as we all hung around staring out into the dark waters that had streams of blood on the surface from the chum and that silence was only broken by the staff banging and splashing the waters to mimic an animal in distress.
Finally, the shout that we have all heard on tv went up, “SHARK!”. There it was in front of us, my first (and only as it turned out) Great White Shark, approximately 10 feet long and a beautiful dark grey in colour along the top of it’s body.
The first dive group jumped into the cage and were treated to the shark approaching the cage a couple of times and thrashing about right in front of them. As they exited the cage after about 20mins you could see it written all over their faces – pure amazement. All I wanted to do was get in there.
We were in the third group and by the time it was our turn the second group had been in there for 30mins with no sightings at all and I wasn’t hopeful.
I was first into the cage and whilst down there all alone two things struck me:
1)It was so cold – it is the Southern Ocean after all
2)If a shark does turn up now out of the murkiness and I am going to be really scared
Soon I was joined by the 5 other divers and we hung there in the freezing waters praying that our luck would be in. At one point we saw a fish that was the size of my thumb, I looked over at Arancha who had also spotted it and I could tell by her eyes that she could appreciate the irony of this as much as I could. There were some other big fish that came over to inspect us but alas there were no more Great Whites to be seen on this day. The only other things to happen whilst down in the cage was a girl slipping off the top of the ladder and landing on her arse at the bottom of the cage because of her weight belt (I found that really funny) and a fresh release of chum being swept into the cage by the current and some of it getting caught up in my now long flowing locks (which Arancha found really funny and refused to help get it out).
After another hour or 2 it was time to set off back to the mainland. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement but I can at least console myself with the fact that I have still seen a Great White with my own eyes and that is still something pretty rare and inspiring. Another consoling point was that I will be passing back by this way in 2 months time from my Western and Southern Aus road trip so there is no reason why we can’t come and try again.
I am a believer in karma and positive energy and I believe that I am doing well in the good karma stakes at the minute so I was pleased that karma presented me with an opportunity whilst on our way back to port especially after highlighting above that I would be passing again.
One of the staff walked past me with her folder and piece of card fell out of it and landed by my foot. I picked it up but before handing it back to her I read it first. I was pleased to see that it was a voucher for a free cruise on the boat to be used before Apr 2012 – I am passing by in Feb 2012.
Now there is an argument that says that I should’ve handed this back to the woman and this point was more than likely shared by the passenger who saw me pick it up, read it, smile and put it under my towel.
However, I was torn:
a)You can take the Lambert lad out of Leicester but you cannot take the Leicester and the Lambert out of the lad – I don’t call it theft, I call it opportunistic
b)I believe in my karma stakes and I was just taking what was due
c)Plus, the fellow passenger met my eyes and I could tell that he knew the rules of grassing on a G!!!
I was further satisfied with my karma and my decision when the staff member returned later and handed us a half price voucher to return and cage dive at a later date – which I was hopeful of receiving but wasn’t sure if we would get it because even though we hadn’t seen a shark in the cage we had seen one on the day which is the trip policy.
So the result is that I will phone up and find out if my full voucher is valid for a cage dive, and if it is we are quids in as I will ebay the other voucher, if it doesn’t include the cage dive I am also quids in as I will ebay that voucher and use the other. I love karma!!
So that was that, we got back to land, had dinner and a few beers to commiserate but still managed to have a really fun night.
The next day it was back to Melbourne and then the following day I was back at the airport to fly off to Sydney to be reunited with 2 of the hombres – Mr Latner and Mr Eggbert – after 13 months apart.
I got to Sydney around 4pm on the Monday afternoon and headed over to Lauren Greenall’s place, which is where I would be crashing for a few nights whilst we were all in Sydney. (Greenall is my mate from London who now lives out here and I stayed with her back in March when I first arrived in Aus, but you all know this as you are avid followers of the blog!!)
That night Lauren and I went out for some food and a few drinks.
Early the next morning I was up, out of the house and heading down to the hostel where the lads would be shortly arriving. What follows is an account of the lads’ roadtrip up the east coast of Australia – enjoy.
Day 1 – Sydney:
• We are reunited after 13 months apart. We embraced, enquired as to how we are all doing and then settled back into the same old routine. I wasn’t surprised to find that after being away for so long it seemed like I had only seen them last week. We have all been mates for nearly 20yrs now and all we have ever had is an easy going, take the p*ss out of each other relationship
• First thing we did was the obligatory sightseeing around Circular Quay – the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Sydney Opera House and get lots of photos of us all together
• 11am and it is time for the first pint. You may consider this as a waste as the lads had just arrived in Sydney but in my defence I did take them to a pub in The Rocks area of Sydney which is the location of the first buildings ever to be constructed by the convicts!
• Took a ferry over Sydney Harbour to Manley Beach. This is my favourite beach in Sydney and the lads got their first taste of the Pacific Ocean. Literally 5mins after walking onto the beach we headed to the pub and settled back for a few drinks.
• During this time we were approached by an old lady from the southern United States who wanted to take a picture of 3 genuine Aussie lads having a beer and then asked us if we had seen Chuck, her husband, who had gone missing. We had to keep an eye out for a fat (of course he is, he’s a yank) man wearing a yellow t-shirt and blue shorts! We also saw a group of South East Asian school kids who has trousers so short that they looked like a group of Michael Jackson’s with their black shoes and white socks
• Back into town to get changed and then met up at the Sydney Opera Bar (at the Opera house and looks out over the harbour and the bridge) along with Greenall and Helen (a friend who by coincidence would be on her hen do in Byron Bay this Sat when we would also be there)
• Boozy night which culminated in Egg having a dance off with some backpackers in their hostel nightclub
• There was a funny Latner story from that night. In the hostel you needed a card to get into the bathrooms; Lats apparently went to the loo but forgot his card. After banging on the bedroom door for ages Egg woke up and let him in so that Lats could get the card. He went back to the toilet and realised that he had gone into the bedroom, walked around and did not pick up the required card. Once again he found himself trying to wake Egg up and when he finally did, he went straight to bed. The result – his p*ssed the bed and he was on top bunk.
Day 2 – Sydney:
• Met up around midday and headed off to Bondi Beach to swim, bodysurf and splash water into each others’ faces.
• Took a walk from Bondi along the cliff edge to take in the Sculptures By The Sea exhibition – an annual exhibition of art along the cliff tops
• On our way up we passed an exclusive bar which overlooked Bondi Beach and there in front of us on the balcony sipping champagne was none other than Mel B, her husband and Monty Panesar (England cricketer) – an odd combination
Mel B quickly disappeared indoors but we were able to get a photo of Monty with Mel B’s husband
To quote Egg, this is how we got the picture:
“Alright Mont-eh, give us a picture son”
• Took in the delights of the exhibition which was really good. Personal highlight was this little hobbit type house and Egg making us take a picture of him in the doorway with his bare arse just peeping around the corner of it
• Out that night on the lash in the Kings Cross area of Sydney. We couldn’t get into the best club as I was wearing my thongs (flip-flops) which in my defence Greenall told me would be ok. So we found ourselves in this crappy sports bar playing pool with 2 couples from the back country, the guys hated us for some reason and there was also an old alcoholic woman that would just not leave us alone. I finished up at 4am as I was flying the next day, the lads carried on until about 5:30am and got lost going home
To prove that the guys hated us, after I had left the lads had a photo taken with the others and as Latner put his arm around one of the guys he quickly shifted and told Lats “don’t you f*cking touch me...” – ha ha!
Day 3 – Lennox Head
• We had booked our flights separately and the airline then messed us around meaning that I flew up to Ballina (the north end of New South Wales) 24 hours before the lads
• I was due to pick up the camper van the next morning so I headed over to Lennox Head, a cool little surfing town with one of the top 10 surf beaches in the world, checked into a hostel and wasted my evening chatting with other travellers and getting some sleep stored up for the coming 2 weeks
Day 4 – Nimbin
• I awoke bright and early to a warm sunny day and took a leisurely jog along the beach before checking out and heading back to the airport to pick up the camper van – our home for the next 2 weeks
• It was still early and I had about 6 hours to kill before the lads landed so I headed over to some cafe that the campervan lady recommended, had some lunch and sat back and read for the afternoon
• It was now time to get back to the airport so that we could begin the roadtrip. Backing out of the parking space at the cafe I was greeted with a very loud bang – I’d only had the van a couple of hours and already I managed to reverse it into a road sign that I swear wasn’t there before. Luckily there was no damage and we had full insurance so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway
In my defence this is why I am reversing out very slowly as Egg films me at the beginning of the roadtrip dvd – after all I was back in the campervan car park and that is not the place to have another bump!
• We christened the van Gaz because it has a sort of high top back which resembled Lloyd (only the lads will get this joke). The great thing about the high top back was that this was to be Latner’s coffin type sleeping space. It was decided that he should have the ‘prime’ sleeping spot because it was advised that this sleeping space was not suitable for small children and Latner is bigger than us two
• We were officially on the road and first stop was Nimbin – Australia’s hippy version of Amsterdam. You will recall that I was here back in March with my German buddies and I met Nimbin Kate in the museum, swigging her vodka. I wanted to lads to experience such cultural delights
• As we drove to Nimbin, which is located in the misty hills away from the coast, we saw something stretched out across the entire width of the lane. Before I had any time to react I had driven over a huge snake, driving over the tail and head! I had no choice, the roads were wet, it was raining, we were travelling at a decent speed so it was the snake or us
• We spent the night free camping in a car park whilst fully taking in the local culture!!
Day 5 – Byron Bay
• We left Nimbin in the morning following a nice breakfast at a place where Lats played with an equal of his – a dog that kept bringing the stick back to him and if it couldn’t find the stick it would pick up another and bring that to him
• The first thing we did was head to a swimming hole out in the countryside. We approached it from the top of a waterfall which we had to climb down in order to get into the water. Unfortunately it was only Latner and I that went for a swim because when we were crossing the rocks to the edge of the waterfall I noticed a small leech on my foot which I showed to Egg. He then saw a small one that had attached itself to his foot and I have never seen someone panic so much over such a minute organism, I honestly thought he was going to have a heart attack! Anyway, after getting it off he flatly refused to go into the water which left just the 2 of us to frolic
• The afternoon saw us arrive in Byron Bay, check into a nice caravan park and head to the beach. Whilst in the sea trying to perfect our bodysurfing technique we saw a large shadow cover the area that we were stood in and before we knew it a kite surfers huge kite came crashing down into the sea just missing Egg – why is it if your mates nearly get hurt it is really funny?
• That evening was our first night cooking our own food – a nightly ritual that we would come to really look forward to and a time when we could sit back and enjoy the fruits of our cooking labour. Every meal consisted of meat and pasta. We would enjoy all sorts of steak, kangaroo, sausage and chicken over the next few days. Egg has got a real talent as meat cooker and should open a kebab shop!
• It is fair to say that we got smashed on that night out in Byron. We ran into the girls on their hen do at around midnight after I heard Greenall laughing from the other side of the road (big mouth!!) and we proceeded to all get as drunk as skunks
Day 6 – Beerwah
• We left Byron and stopped off for lunch in Surfers Paradise
• The aim was to get to Beerwah (a small place north of Brisbane) and spend the evening there before visiting Australia Zoo, the spiritual home of Steve Irwin, the next day
• The bonus of hanging around in Beerwah for the afternoon is that it is also the home of the Glasshouse Mountains. We had some spare time so Lats and I ventured up to the lookout to get a fantastic view of the mountains. Unfortunately Egg’s chronic fear of heights (which you must get sorted out matey) meant that we left him further down in the middle of nowhere watching some kangaroos in a field
• Evening time was taken up with a BBQ and hanging around the van taking the p*ss out of each other
Day 7 – Australia Zoo and Noosa Heads
• Australia Zoo was great and I rank it as the number 2 zoo in the world behind Singapore Zoo. We were all a little gutted to see that if we had arrived a day later we would have been at the zoo on Steve Irwin Day and that would’ve guaranteed us a sighting of Bindi Irwin – the lads appreciate what a special treat that would’ve been! We consoled ourselves with a good time watching the crocodile show in the huge show arena, feeding kangaroos and having photos with them pretending to take them from behind and generally melting in the sun
• We drove on to Noosa Heads which is a very upmarket coastal town set around a number of waterways and a national park and it is lovely
• The usual afternoon and evening entailed – check into a cool caravan park located by the water, bodysurf at the beach, BBQ our dinner and then head out for a few drinks
Day 8 – Hervey Bay
• Today we headed off to Hervey Bay, which would be our base whilst we spent some time on Fraser Island
• We arrived mid-afternoon and checked into the Scarness Caravan Park, which was probably my favourite location that we stayed in. Our site was literally 20 steps away from the beach which is how I like to live my life. The owners of the park were Phil and Marilyn and they were really nice but they loved to talk. When checking in I noticed a calendar of the 2 of them in China and enquired to Marilyn about their trip as I am heading there next March. She proceeded to tell us all about the trip over the next 20mins.
We parked up on the site that Phil directed us to and then Latner made the mistake of mentioning China to him which meant we were treated to an extended version of the same stories over about 30 more minutes
• We had booked our Fraser Island trip through the park so we wasted the remainder of the day in our front garden that was the beach
Day 9 – Fraser Island
• We were picked up bright and early and taken to the port to catch the ferry over to Fraser – a world heritage site and the largest sand island in the world
• Egg was feeling a little rough so he went and sat inside for the ferry ride which meant that he missed the sight of 2 sea turtles swimming about just below us, 2 of 6 Latner and I would see that day (including 1 dead one)
• As we disembarked the ferry and prepared to join up with our tour group Egg dropped the bombshell that he was feeling very unwell and would be going back to Hervey Bay. We were obviously gutted that he would not be joining us but not as gutted as Egg was when we had to get a $50 taxi back to the van after receiving no refund from the tour company – I reckon that was the most expensive ferry ride in history!!
• So it was left to me and Lats to explore and enjoy what Fraser had to offer. We were on a coach trip with about 30 other people and the first thing to do was the say hello to everybody. Our group was as expected very international but one person stuck out straight away – Canada. He was a lone traveller and he was a nob, an opinion held by a number of people on the trip. We did our best to steer clear of him and he was annoying personified
• Our first day consisted of a rainforest walk (the only place in the world where a rainforest grows on sand) where we filled our water bottles up with fresh 100 yr old water from the creek, a visit to Indian Head which is a lookout over the ocean and was also the sight of a horrendous incident in the past when the indigenous residents of the island where forced to commit suicide or be pushed from the cliff tops by the wonderful white people, and we also spent some time at Eli Creek
In order to get to Indian Head from the Eurong Beach Resort which is where we lunched and would also be where we stayed for the night you needed to navigate along the beach highway – that’s right, the beach is a legal highway and an airstrip all in one, it has its own traffic cop and he will give you a ticket if you break the speed limit
Through all of this we avoided Canada
• As evening approached we went back to the resort and were handed our room keys. We were to be in a room of 4, meaning that even if Egg was here we would still have a spare bed and I bet you can guess who was allocated that bed can’t you? CANADA.
We couldn’t help but laugh to ourselves but we did our best to chat to him and invite him out to the pub with us but to no avail, he decided on a game of tennis with a German dude and an early night.
As usual with these trips it is only the English that seem to congregate in the pub at night and this was the case on this trip. We had a good night and got to know a few people a little better including Stuart Adam, an economics genius who is the expert that the UK news programmes will go to when they want an expert opinion
We retired around midnight and kept Canada awake with a joint snoring effort
Day 10 – Fraser Island
• The second day on Fraser Island was by far the best. We visited 2 of the many natural lakes that exist on Fraser and each one was its own version of paradise
• Lake McKenzie was first – pristine white sand and clear blue water, followed by morning tea
• Lake Wabbi was next – to get to Wabbi you must first trek for 2kms through the rainforest, then tackle a desert like area before finally getting to the top of a huge sand-dune which far below has an emerald green lake with a rainforest backdrop. It was like something out of Jurassic Park.
We were warned by our guide that we should not run down the dune and dive into the lake as it has made paraplegics out of more travellers than anywhere else on the island – so you can guess what Canada did
The sand on the dune was so hot that it felt as though our feet were blistering, but as we were second to the lake after Canada we then had the joy of watching every other person stagger down in agony towards the lakes edge. Each person that got down would run into the water and then turn around to also enjoy everybody else’s pain
• That was it for our Fraser Island trip, we headed back to the port and were reunited with Egg back at the campsite. That night Lats and I ventured out to the pub for a few drinks in probably the quietest town ever
Day 11 – Rockhampton
• Whilst on Fraser Island we were told about the rodeo that takes place every Friday night in Rockhampton, the beef capital on Australia, so we decided to check it out and it turned out to be my favourite night
• We arrived late afternoon and got straight on it. We started off by doing a Gazza style dentist chair at the campsite and the night went on in that fashion
• We visited a few bars and then onto the rodeo. The rodeo itself was quite funny, it was full of real cowboys strutting about like real men and the steak sangas on offer were really good.
As for the action I didn’t like it – it is just animal cruelty. My favourite parts of the rodeo were when the bulls got their own back and when the little ponies hurt and made the child cowboys cry
• Afterwards we hit Rockhampton’s main nightclub which doubles as a strip joint. Straight down to business as Egg and I bought Lats a bartop dance with the highlight being the motorboat that he got to act out on her huge chest. The night was messy, we met some cowboys, some very rough bogan (pikey) women and we drank a lot whilst dancing the night away!
• We found out at a later date that Latner had once again p*ssed the bed that night – and he was sleeping above me and Egg
Day 12 – Airlie Beach
• This was a beast of a driving day especially considering the night out we had had
• We got to Airlie Beach, the gateway to the Whitsunday Islands and a wonderful place surrounded by a turquoise sea late in the afternoon to find out that it was schoolies week – the week after high school graduation – meaning lots of drunk and loud teenagers
• That night we cooked up a feast and then went to a few bars in town
Day 13 – Airlie Beach
• First mission of the day was to book a cruise for the next day – my birthday!
• The rest of the day was spent hanging out at the lagoon, as we were now in stinger (jellyfish) territory so we could not enter the sea without donning a stinger suit, followed by bird feeding at 4pm at the camp site. Now it may sound gay that we went to the 4pm bird feeing slot but it was good. We got to hand feed the rainbow lorikeets that would land on our hands and heads and now that we had the bug we managed to tempt over about 20 ducks and 5 cockatoos to our caravan and hand fed them too! Yeah, that’s what real men do
Day 14 – Whitehaven Beach and my 32nd birthday
• We were up early ready for our 7am pick up and the lads had done me a great service by bringing over a number of birthday cards from back home which was a nice treat. Thanks for the cards people and big thanks to dad for the poem and a drawing of his favourite child – the cat. Homo.
Also big up to Latner for the present he gave to me
• The cruise itself was really good. The day was spent sunbathing, drinking beer, eating good food, snorkelling and spending some time playing football and rugby on the pristine white sands of Whitehaven Beach
• As we prepared for my birthday night out back at the van the lads gave me a song to listen to whilst they prepared my birthday present. The song was titled ‘Dick in a box’ and imagine my surprise when the lads then came around the corner naked except for, yep that’s right, their dick’s in a box. Latner was sporting a wine box and Egg a crisp box. My surprise was nothing compared to the 3 schoolies who happened to walk past at the wrong / right moment – love you boys!
• We had a boozy night out as expected in which I sported a present from Moggy, one of the homies back in the UK; a Mika t-shirt because I look like him. My hair is actually lot longer now but I can still appreciate the resemblance; not.
It was quite amusing to overhear some people who actually thought that I was wearing it for real
Days 15 & 16 – Mission Beach
• Mission Beach is located just 140kms from our final destination of Cairns, meaning that over the past 2 weeks we would’ve driven approximately 2,000kms and it is also the protected site of the Cassowary bird, a bird in my opinion that proves that birds evolved from dinosaurs. Unfortunately during our 2 days there we were not lucky enough to see any in the wild
• Our 2 days were very a chilled affair of the beach, BBQ and a few beers
Day 17 – Cairns
• Today was the day that we said our goodbyes to Gaz, our faithful friend who had housed us for the past 14 days, we were sad but at the same time also looking forward to our own beds, especially Latner
• We booked ourselves into a hostel opposite the lagoon and harbour, sorted a trip to the Great Barrier Reef for the next day and had nothing left to do but go to the pub
• We drank the afternoon away, played pool (yes Latner I admit to the fact that you beat me) and then went for a curry with good intentions of carrying on late into the night
• Back at the room to get changed we were greeted with cool air-con and a comfy bed each. Bearing in mind that it was 7pm we awoke the next morning at 7am! Looks like we have definitely reached our 30’s!!
Day 18 – The Great Barrier Reef
• We all really enjoyed our day out at the Reef. We got to snorkel at 2 reef sites and the second one was fantastic, further enhanced by a trip on a glass bottom boat. We saw a lot of marine life and some absolutely massive clams
• There were 2 stand out items from the trip
1)Our stinger suits made us look like real ninjas. We spent a good hour or 2 pretending to be ninjas and took many photos of us mock fighting and posing like the warriors we wished we were to the confusion of the other travellers
2)Maurice AKA Commando. Maurice was a big black ex military US citizen and a typical American (you know that I love them). When the safety briefing took place he was the one that gave out a big “Yeah” when everyone was asked if they were having a good time, he pumped both arms when informed that it was a non smoking boat (what does it really matter to him if someone is having a fag at the back?) and when the dive brief was given he was sat at the front asking dumbass questions and not getting the jokes even though we later found out that he was only snorkelling; he shouldn’t have even been at that briefing.
The moment that annoyed me the most was when he was snorkelling, got into trouble and the staff had to swim out to help him and to remind him that you should not be standing on the coral reef as it takes years and years to recover.
Honestly, what went wrong with that country?
• Upon returning to Cairns we decided to join the hostel bar crawl as I wanted to show Latner a true backpacker night out. During the past few days Egg had decided that enough was enough and he was now t-total and aiming for a healthier lifestyle (???) so it was up to the two of us to fly the flag.
We had a great night out and the fact that we downed a ½ litre bottle of JD before we began set the tone for the evening. We met some cool people whilst out and about but when I saw Latner’s eyes rolling in his head I knew it was time to call it a night.
We got back to the room which was pitch black but Latner insisted on leaving the door open so that he could show the now awake Egg how he could bend the light coming in from the corridor.
He then p*ssed the bed for the third and final time
So that was that, the trip had come to an end. We all flew out of Cairns to Brisbane and went our separate ways. I flew onto Melbourne and the lads after a day in Brisbane flew onto Singapore for 2 days and then back to Blighty.
I would just like to say a huge thank you to you both for coming out and visiting me. It was a long way to come and an expensive trip but I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did and after now being away for 13 months it was a real treat.
To the lads back home Latner’s new name is now either Scrapes or Taps depending on the situation – I will leave it up to Egg to explain. As he hates both please try to use them going forward.
So I now find myself back in Melbourne wasting away the next couple of weeks until Arancha and I hit the road for our travel adventures – I can’t wait.
Ok, that’s enough as I can type no more.
Oh one last thing, I came out of Melbourne’s Flinders Street station last night and I saw a backpacker boring 2 dressed up girls chatting about some rubbish – it was Canada. With my head down I rushed past, Latner will appreciate exactly why.
Bye.
Monday, 26 September 2011
P...p..p...p...pick up a penguin
My friends, it has been a while.
The reason I have not posted anything for some time is because not a lot has been going on to be honest. It has been a case of living a relatively normal existence except for the fact that it is on the other side of the world.
But do not worry bloggers, I have been working hard to save up and book some flights to embark upon new travelling adventures just so that I can keep you guys entertained!!
That is how selfless I am.
Before I list my travelling plan for the next 8 months and beyond I will fill you in on the past couple of months.
Obviously there has been the bore that is work. I do not need to go into it except to say that I have brought the end of my contract forward by 3 weeks and I will be leaving the world of the 9 to 5 as of November 3rd. Sweet!
Moggy, it wasn't The Enemy's 'Away From Here' that inspired me this time, just the lure of more travel.
There has also been the football. The season has now ended and I must say that I had a great time playing for the mighty Ashburton United. It wasn’t the most successful of seasons but we ended the season with a run of only 2 losses in the final 12 games to ensure that we finished in a respectable mid table position.
Last Friday was the Ashburton presentation night and it was a very civilised and all round nice night out. The club gives of a real family feel to way it conducts its business and if I ever move back to Melbourne (a possibility) I think I would play for the team again (depending on their league position and if another team higher up offers me cash to play for them!!)
One of our younger players actually has a trial for Melbourne Hart this week, which is the equivalent of a premiership team in England, although not the same standard of course.
If you would like to see some photos of me in action and a little 4 second clip of me looking pretty damn good on the pitch you can check out Ashburton on YouTube. Type in Ashburton Soccer 2011 and enjoy the ‘show’. My clip is precisely on 3 mins and 10 secs.
In the past couple of months you will not be surprised to read that I have done a lot of drinking and socialising, but also a lot of running, the reasons of which we will go into in a minute.
I did manage to get to a gig recently as The Kaiser Chiefs were in town, so a few of us went along and I don’t mind admitting that I got wasted. It was one of those days where it just hits you and I was ruined. ‘Nuff said.
A few weeks ago I went to see Cadel Evans – Australia’s first Tour De France winner – as he took a victory ride through Melbourne. I am not really into cycling but it is one of those things you need to go and see isn’t it.
What else have I been up to?
Oh, I went to my first Aussie Rules game. The game was part of the Finals series which culminates in the grand final this weekend, which is the same as the FA Cup final in England. Aussie Rules is a funny sport as it essentially dominates only one State in Australia; Victoria. It is absolutely huge here and is on multiple TV channels every day. There are about 20 teams of which only about 6 teams exist outside of Victoria and of those remaining 14 teams, most of them are solely in Melbourne. This is even crazier when you consider the sport has just signed an approx $1bn TV rights deal. That is a lot of money to have floating around in one city in Australia.
There was a 3 hour TV show on last night just to present the player of the season award and the first hour was taken up with the WAG’s on the blue carpet, which was some huge event in itself.
This Friday sees the Finals parade taking place. It seems odd that the city will come to a standstill so that the 2 teams to play in the grand final on Saturday can do an open-top bus tour before the actual game is played. I will go along and watch as you have to soak up everything that a place has to offer so that you can really take in the culture and vibe of the city.
Anyway, back to the game that I attended with a footy mate who is a fellow Englishman from Grimsby. He is a really good guy and definitely one of those people that you meet on your travels who you know you will stay mates with.
He has led an interesting life up to this point as well. He is a journalist, travelled all over the world as the writer for the Barmy Army, penned the official song for Graham Swann that was recorded and he is in the music video (very funny), has an ex whose mother left George Best for Frank Worthington (now that is class), and has just signed a contract to have a book published next year.
But best of all, he likes to have a scotch and coke with me for breakfast after we have had a night out.
Back to the match itself, Hawthorn Hawks vs Sydney Swans, the Hawks won, that’s all you need to know as it wouldn’t make any sense to you anyway. So it’s a big tick for going to an AFL game and another tick for going to the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) to watch it.
The MCG is an awesome and iconic stadium in Australia. It holds approx 100,000 people but seems much larger than Wembley. I think this is because the Aussie rules pitch is an oval and covers a much larger surface area so the opposite side of the stadium is much further away. There was an attendance of 55,000 people at our game and due to its size it looked like there were only 20,000.
The only other thing to say about the MCG is that the beer is awful; flat and expensive, but at least you can drink in your seat.
Now back to why I have been doing a lot of running. October 9th will be my 1 year anniversary out of the UK (I can’t believe how quickly that has gone) and I couldn’t think of any better way to celebrate this fact (stupidly) than to run/walk/piggy back on an unsuspecting child’s back/crawl the Melbourne Marathon.
Why I decided to do this I do not know but I do have a constant desire to push myself to the limit. I echo this sentiment by letting you know that whilst most people give themselves about 6 months training for a marathon, I decided 5 weeks ago to do it! Ha ha!
Last Sunday I took part in a half marathon as part of my training and I won’t say that it was easy, but it wasn’t hard. As I finished I did wonder if I could run that entire thing again and that is when I got scared, really scared!
I did the half marathon with Arancha and Nadia. I am sure you are familiar with them by now – sexy twins that I met in Nepal and met up with them again once I moved to Melbourne.
I say that I did the race with them, but technically I didn’t. The reason for this is that Arancha and Nadia don’t always listen to instructions!!
If they were with me I would like to think that they would have started at the right time and place but I was lucky to start the race on time myself. Runners like to go for a poo before a race, a combination of nerves and getting rid of some extra weight, so I was stood in a big queue (for a poo) waiting to use the Chesney Hawkes (one and only) cubicle.
By the time I got to the start line the 5km and 10km runners had departed and the half marathon runners were getting ready to go. I couldn’t find the girls anywhere and I was never going to as they had already started, in the wrong race.
A few minutes into that race the girls realised that they were the only runners with a blue number and so had to stop and wait like a pair of identical divs for our race to begin and then jump over the barrier to join us.
The race website has a good photo of 2 blue numbers amongst a sea of yellow and green ones.
I finished the half marathon in 1hr42mins. I was happy with the time and if I can keep a consistent pace that is a 3hr20min marathon. Obviously that is not going to happen, but all I want to do is finish it in less than 4 hours.
One thing to aim for with the marathon is that the finish line is at the end of a lap of the MCG, which will be a pretty cool location to accept my medal.
I want to give a big up to the girls for their race times. They weren’t far behind me and given their couple of additional years on me it was a top effort.
If you would like to view some pictures of me looking like a pasty Leicester inbred who has just rocked up for a run in his vest and shorts then please follow the links below:
http://gallery.srichinmoyraces.org/australia/scc-melbourne_yarra-blvd2011-09-25/20110925_082802_768Px.jpg.html
http://gallery.srichinmoyraces.org/australia/scc-melbourne_yarra-blvd2011-09-25/20110925_082804_768Px.jpg.html
I promise you that I did have a tan when I got to Melbourne in April, but the winter has washed it all away.
I will have to try harder when I get back on my travels.
One other weekend that I do have to tell you all about was my trip to Philip Island.
Philip Island is on the southern coast of Victoria, about a 2 hour drive directly south of Melbourne and is home to Australia’s most famous wildlife attraction, the Penguin Parade. Every sunset, wild Little Penguins emerge from the sea from a days fishing and waddle across the beach to their sand dune burrows.
My self and Arancha headed to Philip Island after work on the Friday and by 7pm we were booked into our Inn in the island’s main town of Cowes.
As it was a Friday night we decided to hit the ‘town’. At dinner I asked about the nightly entertainment that was to be had on the island to be informed that the only pub in Cowes had recently burnt down! However, the local hotel had a bar / ‘club’ attached to it and that would be the best place to go.
I can’t say it was the best drinking establishment that I have been to and the crowd was rather eclectic, but after a few shots it looked like any other hole that I have managed to get tipsy in.
The next morning, still a little hazy, I drank drove to the Information Bureau to sort out what we were going to do with the day before the evening penguin bonanza. I thought I was fine to drive but it soon became apparent that this was not the case (it was my parking that was the give away). All good though my friends because the island is very small and I couldn’t cause too much damage.
After some much needed breakfast and a strong black coffee our day began in earnest.
Stop 1 – the chocolate factory. As with Tasmania I was to be disappointed; there was no sign of an Umpa Lumpa or even an enslaved penguin worker. In fact we took one look at the reception area and decided to give it a miss all together
Stop 2 – A Maze N Things. Now this place was worth the visit to the island alone.
It is an attraction that incorporates optical illusion rooms, puzzle rooms, a maze that covers of 2kms and mini golf.
Now it sounds rubbish doesn’t it, but it wasn’t! Let me explain why:
• A mirror maze – it was bloody good fun alright
• When you are in a room that if you stand at one end, someone at the other and the photo gives the illusion that one of you is a giant and the other is a midget, this is good. It is even better when you pretend that you are a monster, your bottle of pop is your penis and on the photo it is as big at your bird who is at the other end of it looking terrified
• There was one of those vertical slides. This was great once I had done it, but I did get scared at the top as you had to climb over the edge and hang in mid air before you let go. My hands were sweating and I couldn’t grip the bar but once did I still couldn’t let go when the guy told me too. It took me a few more seconds to build up the courage.
Now that is entertainment, is it not?
• The puzzles were pretty good too. For example, we had to work out how to get to pirate treasure through a number of rooms and gates. See, fun for the mind as well!
• The maze also kept us busy for about an hour. There were 4 flags that you had to get to, so it was decided by Arancha that we should race each other. Through sheer tenacity and scrambling over a couple of walls, I won!
After those fun and frolics the rest of the day was taken up with visiting various look out points over the Southern Ocean, visiting a shipwreck which we couldn’t see, visiting a vineyard and tasting some local wine, plus some bonus sightings of the local wildlife.
At one point Arancha went a little off road and found herself standing over the tail of a Copperhead snake.
This snake has no known anti-venom but the bites rarely kill humans. Still, if it had got her it wouldn’t have been nice as I would have probably had to go to the parade on my own!!
I wanted to venture into the bush to see it, but as I was only wearing shorts and flip-flops I decided to let this nature sighting pass me by.
By early evening it was time for the Penguin Parade.
The majority of the paying public go to the huge grandstand that overlooks the beach so that they can view the penguins coming in to shore and leaving the sea. We decided to upgrade to get access to another area that was just off of the beach and would provide much better views of the majority of the penguins when they make their way to their burrows.
We got there early so were able to place ourselves right at the front and we were rewarded with an amazing experience.
As darkness descended and the penguins started waddling up the beach, we were literally 30cms away from the nearest ones behind the barrier. It was really interesting to watch them as they herded themselves together and then in groups of 15 or so would make their way home in the safety of these little groups. Once one group got to the point at which we were sat, the next group would then set off, and this pattern continued for about an hour as over 1,500 penguins made their way home.
On the way back to the car park you walk for over 1km alongside the penguins as they head for their burrows that can be located as far at 2kms in land. You even have the check under the car before you leave to make sure none of them are taking a break.
It was a very cool experience.
For the rest of that evening we drank from the bottles of goodness that we purchased at the vineyard earlier that day.
The next morning we took in one more wildlife / lookout point before heading back to the city. The amusingly named Nobbies is an area at the south-western tip of Philip Island and is the home of some pretty dramatic landscape, an awesome blow hole, as well as home to more penguins and also some seals.
Overall it was a great weekend away and it was nice to get out of Melbourne and see some of the Victorian coastline.
So that is what I have been up to in the past couple of months, so now onto the exciting stuff of what is to come, and let me tell you it is gooooooood.
Oct 1st – BBQ (I hope there are shrimps on it) to watch ALF final, England vs Scotland at the rugby world cup, Merseyside Derby
Oct 9th – Melbourne Marathon – scared
Oct 29th – Derby Day – day at the races
Oct 31st – my first Aussie wedding
Nov 1st – bank holiday for the Melbourne Cup (Australia’s version of the Grand National)
Nov 3rd – work contract finishes
Nov 4th – fly to Port Lincoln.
For my birthday Arancha has bought me the best present I have ever or will ever receive. We are going to South Australia to the place where some of the Jaws movie was filmed to cage dive with Great White Sharks. This is the number one thing on my bucket list so let’s hope that irony doesn’t pay me a visit
Nov 7th – fly to Sydney
Nov 8th – 26th – Latner and Egg arrive down under. I am very much looking forward to hanging out with 2 of my best mates and exploring the east coast of Aus on our 3 week road trip that will include my 32nd birthday
Nov 28th – Dec 8th – fly back to Melbourne and then I will walk the Great Ocean Road with Winslow (Grimsby lad)
Dec 9th – attend Arancha’s work Xmas do / leaving do
Dec 17th – road trip with Arancha along the NSW coastline up to Sydney
Xmas day – dinner at Arancha’s mums!
Dec 26th – Dec 31st – fly to Tasmania to take in the Taste of Tasmania food and drink festival with my uncle, and then attend the Falls Music festival for 2 days camping to see the Arctic Monkeys amongst others
Dec 31st – fly back to Sydney for NYE at the Sydney Harbour Bridge to see the fireworks
Jan 1st – 5th – my self and Arancha fly to Alice Springs so that we can visit Uluru (Ayres Rock)
Jan 5th – Feb 16th – fly to Broome in Western Oz to begin a road trip around that part of the country
Feb 16th – drive back to Melbourne as part of the mammoth road trip as Arancha has an art exhibition. Whilst in Melbourne we will attend a friends 30th birthday and then it is a big birthday for Arancha and her sister the following week
March 3rd – May 10th – my 1 yr Australian visa expires so I fly off to China with Arancha and we will travel around and make our way down to Tibet
May 10th – back to the UK for Bob’s wedding on the 12th after 17 months away
May – Dec – take in the Euro’s, the Olympics, get a 6 month contract in London to get some more $
2013 – fly to Canada to ski for a month or 2 and then on to South America for however long we can afford to
That is the grand plan. Everything up to May 10th is organised and paid for, so that is definitely happening.
As for May onwards, that is still in draft.
Whatever happens, as of the November 4th the blog will once again get much more interesting.
You see Bloggers, I put myself through all of this just for you.
The reason I have not posted anything for some time is because not a lot has been going on to be honest. It has been a case of living a relatively normal existence except for the fact that it is on the other side of the world.
But do not worry bloggers, I have been working hard to save up and book some flights to embark upon new travelling adventures just so that I can keep you guys entertained!!
That is how selfless I am.
Before I list my travelling plan for the next 8 months and beyond I will fill you in on the past couple of months.
Obviously there has been the bore that is work. I do not need to go into it except to say that I have brought the end of my contract forward by 3 weeks and I will be leaving the world of the 9 to 5 as of November 3rd. Sweet!
Moggy, it wasn't The Enemy's 'Away From Here' that inspired me this time, just the lure of more travel.
There has also been the football. The season has now ended and I must say that I had a great time playing for the mighty Ashburton United. It wasn’t the most successful of seasons but we ended the season with a run of only 2 losses in the final 12 games to ensure that we finished in a respectable mid table position.
Last Friday was the Ashburton presentation night and it was a very civilised and all round nice night out. The club gives of a real family feel to way it conducts its business and if I ever move back to Melbourne (a possibility) I think I would play for the team again (depending on their league position and if another team higher up offers me cash to play for them!!)
One of our younger players actually has a trial for Melbourne Hart this week, which is the equivalent of a premiership team in England, although not the same standard of course.
If you would like to see some photos of me in action and a little 4 second clip of me looking pretty damn good on the pitch you can check out Ashburton on YouTube. Type in Ashburton Soccer 2011 and enjoy the ‘show’. My clip is precisely on 3 mins and 10 secs.
In the past couple of months you will not be surprised to read that I have done a lot of drinking and socialising, but also a lot of running, the reasons of which we will go into in a minute.
I did manage to get to a gig recently as The Kaiser Chiefs were in town, so a few of us went along and I don’t mind admitting that I got wasted. It was one of those days where it just hits you and I was ruined. ‘Nuff said.
A few weeks ago I went to see Cadel Evans – Australia’s first Tour De France winner – as he took a victory ride through Melbourne. I am not really into cycling but it is one of those things you need to go and see isn’t it.
What else have I been up to?
Oh, I went to my first Aussie Rules game. The game was part of the Finals series which culminates in the grand final this weekend, which is the same as the FA Cup final in England. Aussie Rules is a funny sport as it essentially dominates only one State in Australia; Victoria. It is absolutely huge here and is on multiple TV channels every day. There are about 20 teams of which only about 6 teams exist outside of Victoria and of those remaining 14 teams, most of them are solely in Melbourne. This is even crazier when you consider the sport has just signed an approx $1bn TV rights deal. That is a lot of money to have floating around in one city in Australia.
There was a 3 hour TV show on last night just to present the player of the season award and the first hour was taken up with the WAG’s on the blue carpet, which was some huge event in itself.
This Friday sees the Finals parade taking place. It seems odd that the city will come to a standstill so that the 2 teams to play in the grand final on Saturday can do an open-top bus tour before the actual game is played. I will go along and watch as you have to soak up everything that a place has to offer so that you can really take in the culture and vibe of the city.
Anyway, back to the game that I attended with a footy mate who is a fellow Englishman from Grimsby. He is a really good guy and definitely one of those people that you meet on your travels who you know you will stay mates with.
He has led an interesting life up to this point as well. He is a journalist, travelled all over the world as the writer for the Barmy Army, penned the official song for Graham Swann that was recorded and he is in the music video (very funny), has an ex whose mother left George Best for Frank Worthington (now that is class), and has just signed a contract to have a book published next year.
But best of all, he likes to have a scotch and coke with me for breakfast after we have had a night out.
Back to the match itself, Hawthorn Hawks vs Sydney Swans, the Hawks won, that’s all you need to know as it wouldn’t make any sense to you anyway. So it’s a big tick for going to an AFL game and another tick for going to the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) to watch it.
The MCG is an awesome and iconic stadium in Australia. It holds approx 100,000 people but seems much larger than Wembley. I think this is because the Aussie rules pitch is an oval and covers a much larger surface area so the opposite side of the stadium is much further away. There was an attendance of 55,000 people at our game and due to its size it looked like there were only 20,000.
The only other thing to say about the MCG is that the beer is awful; flat and expensive, but at least you can drink in your seat.
Now back to why I have been doing a lot of running. October 9th will be my 1 year anniversary out of the UK (I can’t believe how quickly that has gone) and I couldn’t think of any better way to celebrate this fact (stupidly) than to run/walk/piggy back on an unsuspecting child’s back/crawl the Melbourne Marathon.
Why I decided to do this I do not know but I do have a constant desire to push myself to the limit. I echo this sentiment by letting you know that whilst most people give themselves about 6 months training for a marathon, I decided 5 weeks ago to do it! Ha ha!
Last Sunday I took part in a half marathon as part of my training and I won’t say that it was easy, but it wasn’t hard. As I finished I did wonder if I could run that entire thing again and that is when I got scared, really scared!
I did the half marathon with Arancha and Nadia. I am sure you are familiar with them by now – sexy twins that I met in Nepal and met up with them again once I moved to Melbourne.
I say that I did the race with them, but technically I didn’t. The reason for this is that Arancha and Nadia don’t always listen to instructions!!
If they were with me I would like to think that they would have started at the right time and place but I was lucky to start the race on time myself. Runners like to go for a poo before a race, a combination of nerves and getting rid of some extra weight, so I was stood in a big queue (for a poo) waiting to use the Chesney Hawkes (one and only) cubicle.
By the time I got to the start line the 5km and 10km runners had departed and the half marathon runners were getting ready to go. I couldn’t find the girls anywhere and I was never going to as they had already started, in the wrong race.
A few minutes into that race the girls realised that they were the only runners with a blue number and so had to stop and wait like a pair of identical divs for our race to begin and then jump over the barrier to join us.
The race website has a good photo of 2 blue numbers amongst a sea of yellow and green ones.
I finished the half marathon in 1hr42mins. I was happy with the time and if I can keep a consistent pace that is a 3hr20min marathon. Obviously that is not going to happen, but all I want to do is finish it in less than 4 hours.
One thing to aim for with the marathon is that the finish line is at the end of a lap of the MCG, which will be a pretty cool location to accept my medal.
I want to give a big up to the girls for their race times. They weren’t far behind me and given their couple of additional years on me it was a top effort.
If you would like to view some pictures of me looking like a pasty Leicester inbred who has just rocked up for a run in his vest and shorts then please follow the links below:
http://gallery.srichinmoyraces.org/australia/scc-melbourne_yarra-blvd2011-09-25/20110925_082802_768Px.jpg.html
http://gallery.srichinmoyraces.org/australia/scc-melbourne_yarra-blvd2011-09-25/20110925_082804_768Px.jpg.html
I promise you that I did have a tan when I got to Melbourne in April, but the winter has washed it all away.
I will have to try harder when I get back on my travels.
One other weekend that I do have to tell you all about was my trip to Philip Island.
Philip Island is on the southern coast of Victoria, about a 2 hour drive directly south of Melbourne and is home to Australia’s most famous wildlife attraction, the Penguin Parade. Every sunset, wild Little Penguins emerge from the sea from a days fishing and waddle across the beach to their sand dune burrows.
My self and Arancha headed to Philip Island after work on the Friday and by 7pm we were booked into our Inn in the island’s main town of Cowes.
As it was a Friday night we decided to hit the ‘town’. At dinner I asked about the nightly entertainment that was to be had on the island to be informed that the only pub in Cowes had recently burnt down! However, the local hotel had a bar / ‘club’ attached to it and that would be the best place to go.
I can’t say it was the best drinking establishment that I have been to and the crowd was rather eclectic, but after a few shots it looked like any other hole that I have managed to get tipsy in.
The next morning, still a little hazy, I drank drove to the Information Bureau to sort out what we were going to do with the day before the evening penguin bonanza. I thought I was fine to drive but it soon became apparent that this was not the case (it was my parking that was the give away). All good though my friends because the island is very small and I couldn’t cause too much damage.
After some much needed breakfast and a strong black coffee our day began in earnest.
Stop 1 – the chocolate factory. As with Tasmania I was to be disappointed; there was no sign of an Umpa Lumpa or even an enslaved penguin worker. In fact we took one look at the reception area and decided to give it a miss all together
Stop 2 – A Maze N Things. Now this place was worth the visit to the island alone.
It is an attraction that incorporates optical illusion rooms, puzzle rooms, a maze that covers of 2kms and mini golf.
Now it sounds rubbish doesn’t it, but it wasn’t! Let me explain why:
• A mirror maze – it was bloody good fun alright
• When you are in a room that if you stand at one end, someone at the other and the photo gives the illusion that one of you is a giant and the other is a midget, this is good. It is even better when you pretend that you are a monster, your bottle of pop is your penis and on the photo it is as big at your bird who is at the other end of it looking terrified
• There was one of those vertical slides. This was great once I had done it, but I did get scared at the top as you had to climb over the edge and hang in mid air before you let go. My hands were sweating and I couldn’t grip the bar but once did I still couldn’t let go when the guy told me too. It took me a few more seconds to build up the courage.
Now that is entertainment, is it not?
• The puzzles were pretty good too. For example, we had to work out how to get to pirate treasure through a number of rooms and gates. See, fun for the mind as well!
• The maze also kept us busy for about an hour. There were 4 flags that you had to get to, so it was decided by Arancha that we should race each other. Through sheer tenacity and scrambling over a couple of walls, I won!
After those fun and frolics the rest of the day was taken up with visiting various look out points over the Southern Ocean, visiting a shipwreck which we couldn’t see, visiting a vineyard and tasting some local wine, plus some bonus sightings of the local wildlife.
At one point Arancha went a little off road and found herself standing over the tail of a Copperhead snake.
This snake has no known anti-venom but the bites rarely kill humans. Still, if it had got her it wouldn’t have been nice as I would have probably had to go to the parade on my own!!
I wanted to venture into the bush to see it, but as I was only wearing shorts and flip-flops I decided to let this nature sighting pass me by.
By early evening it was time for the Penguin Parade.
The majority of the paying public go to the huge grandstand that overlooks the beach so that they can view the penguins coming in to shore and leaving the sea. We decided to upgrade to get access to another area that was just off of the beach and would provide much better views of the majority of the penguins when they make their way to their burrows.
We got there early so were able to place ourselves right at the front and we were rewarded with an amazing experience.
As darkness descended and the penguins started waddling up the beach, we were literally 30cms away from the nearest ones behind the barrier. It was really interesting to watch them as they herded themselves together and then in groups of 15 or so would make their way home in the safety of these little groups. Once one group got to the point at which we were sat, the next group would then set off, and this pattern continued for about an hour as over 1,500 penguins made their way home.
On the way back to the car park you walk for over 1km alongside the penguins as they head for their burrows that can be located as far at 2kms in land. You even have the check under the car before you leave to make sure none of them are taking a break.
It was a very cool experience.
For the rest of that evening we drank from the bottles of goodness that we purchased at the vineyard earlier that day.
The next morning we took in one more wildlife / lookout point before heading back to the city. The amusingly named Nobbies is an area at the south-western tip of Philip Island and is the home of some pretty dramatic landscape, an awesome blow hole, as well as home to more penguins and also some seals.
Overall it was a great weekend away and it was nice to get out of Melbourne and see some of the Victorian coastline.
So that is what I have been up to in the past couple of months, so now onto the exciting stuff of what is to come, and let me tell you it is gooooooood.
Oct 1st – BBQ (I hope there are shrimps on it) to watch ALF final, England vs Scotland at the rugby world cup, Merseyside Derby
Oct 9th – Melbourne Marathon – scared
Oct 29th – Derby Day – day at the races
Oct 31st – my first Aussie wedding
Nov 1st – bank holiday for the Melbourne Cup (Australia’s version of the Grand National)
Nov 3rd – work contract finishes
Nov 4th – fly to Port Lincoln.
For my birthday Arancha has bought me the best present I have ever or will ever receive. We are going to South Australia to the place where some of the Jaws movie was filmed to cage dive with Great White Sharks. This is the number one thing on my bucket list so let’s hope that irony doesn’t pay me a visit
Nov 7th – fly to Sydney
Nov 8th – 26th – Latner and Egg arrive down under. I am very much looking forward to hanging out with 2 of my best mates and exploring the east coast of Aus on our 3 week road trip that will include my 32nd birthday
Nov 28th – Dec 8th – fly back to Melbourne and then I will walk the Great Ocean Road with Winslow (Grimsby lad)
Dec 9th – attend Arancha’s work Xmas do / leaving do
Dec 17th – road trip with Arancha along the NSW coastline up to Sydney
Xmas day – dinner at Arancha’s mums!
Dec 26th – Dec 31st – fly to Tasmania to take in the Taste of Tasmania food and drink festival with my uncle, and then attend the Falls Music festival for 2 days camping to see the Arctic Monkeys amongst others
Dec 31st – fly back to Sydney for NYE at the Sydney Harbour Bridge to see the fireworks
Jan 1st – 5th – my self and Arancha fly to Alice Springs so that we can visit Uluru (Ayres Rock)
Jan 5th – Feb 16th – fly to Broome in Western Oz to begin a road trip around that part of the country
Feb 16th – drive back to Melbourne as part of the mammoth road trip as Arancha has an art exhibition. Whilst in Melbourne we will attend a friends 30th birthday and then it is a big birthday for Arancha and her sister the following week
March 3rd – May 10th – my 1 yr Australian visa expires so I fly off to China with Arancha and we will travel around and make our way down to Tibet
May 10th – back to the UK for Bob’s wedding on the 12th after 17 months away
May – Dec – take in the Euro’s, the Olympics, get a 6 month contract in London to get some more $
2013 – fly to Canada to ski for a month or 2 and then on to South America for however long we can afford to
That is the grand plan. Everything up to May 10th is organised and paid for, so that is definitely happening.
As for May onwards, that is still in draft.
Whatever happens, as of the November 4th the blog will once again get much more interesting.
You see Bloggers, I put myself through all of this just for you.
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
A poo machine and staring into the abyss
Hello all.
The past two weekends have seen my travels get back on track, even if it is only for the short term.
As for the rest of my time it has been the usual work, football and drinking, so no need for an update on that, except to say that I am still not getting on with the referees over here.
In my last match I received a couple of verbal assaults on the senses and an eventual booking for my attitude towards the ref. I was also informed after the match that some spectators thought that “it was about time that the he got booked as he has been mouthing off all game”.
My response is if they can’t control a match to the standard expected in England, then don’t do it at all!
Apart from that, I am still really enjoying playing the beautiful game, which I am determined not to ever call soccer!!!
Since my last post it has also been the birthdays of my mother, Suzy ‘The Suze’ Lambert, and my little sis, Beck ‘I can’t really call this a job can I?’ Lambert.
Once again, Happy Birthday to you both.
Beck, was that the best card ever, or what?
Did you know that on your birthday Skype declares your age for everyone to see with a sentence of ‘such and such is xx today!’
The Suze was not best pleased about this when I called her.
Don’t worry mum, you don’t look a day over retirement age.
Anyway, back to my past two weekends.
Weekend 1: Tasmania
I flew over to Tasmania on the Friday evening after work and landed at about 8pm after a very easy 1 hour flight.
I was met at the airport by my uncle John, who looked exactly the same at the last time I saw him 10 years previously, except for a few more grey hairs.
I mentioned previously that he owns an ice cream factory in Hobart that supplies ice cream to most of Tasmania and is currently breaking through into mainland Australia. If I had forgotten there was no getting away from this fact when I saw his car.
The number plate is ‘ICREAM’.
Yes it looks like ICE CREAM but to me it also tells me about his and every other bloke’s private habits!
I am not sure what he really thought about that.
From the airport we went into the centre of Hobart, to the Salamanca area of the city for some food.
Salamanca is one of the main restaurant and bar areas of Hobart and is based around the harbour. The architecture really gives off the impression of an old English town apart from the fact that it is on completely the opposite side of the world.
After eating a very, very good steak we retired to my uncle’s ‘humble’ abode for a few more drinks and a catch up.
I awoke early the next morning to a stunning view over the gardens of my uncle’s crib and down to the ocean on a sunny but seriously chilly Tasmanian Saturday.
John’s house is pretty sweet. It looks a combination of a church and a colonial style house from the past. The ceilings are high, the rooms are spacious, and the sun shining through the many stained glass windows gives the interior a feel of being inside a rainbow, which is quite disorientating when it’s early and you have had a few drinks the night before.
The gardens are also lovely, a nice lawn (I am English, so by default I love a lawn of grass), an area where a combination of fruit trees geow and a converted stone barn which gives extra living quarters. With the view of the ocean beyond, it makes for an amazing setting.
After watching some of the breaking news about the Norway attacks we ventured back down to Salamanca to take in the Saturday market and to get some breakfast.
In the bright sunshine and 0 degree morning, the harbour looked very picturesque apart from a vintage crane from yesteryear sitting by the dockside. Imagine my surprise when John showed me the plaque on the side of it that said it was all the way from Leicester, our home city!
After breakfast John took us on a road trip through the Tasmanian countryside to a little, and I mean little, village in the middle on nowhere. The village was called Campania and is allegedly the birthplace of my great grandfather and is as far back as we can trace the origins of our Lamberts.
I found it quite special to be there to pay homage to the ancestors. I had the obligatory photo taken under the Campania sign.
As we left I started to hum a song that it still in my head today and is driving me crazy. To the tune of Peter Andre’s classic ‘Insania’, ‘do do do do doooo, do do do do doooo, it’s Campania!’
Aaaaggggghhhhhh!
From there we headed back to Hobart through another small town called Richmond. Richmond is the sight of a famous sandstone bridge that was built by the convicts and was completed in 1825.
There’s nothing to say that after the completion of this bridge that it was then that the ancestors settled in Campania!! Who knows?
Richmond also houses one of my uncle’s best ice cream customers. He wanted to have a little look in the shop so we went in and I was there to witness him buy his first ever ice cream from his own company. I got a lemon and lime scoop with a cornet.
This was turning out to be a great day!
Once back in Hobart we went to check out one of the top footy teams who were playing. We timed our arrival perfectly, a goal straight away and then the final whistle 2 minutes later.
I then got my tour of the Valhalla Ice Cream factory.
As we entered through the minature door, my uncle sang ‘come with me and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination’.
He didn’t really, but I so wish he had.
Listening to my uncle explain what goes on, what the business was like when he bought it, what investment he has had to make and where the business is now, left me a little awe struck. This is all the more impressive as even though he is a very successful business man he specialises in fashion and clothing, not making bloody ice cream. But then a business is a business I guess.
I have to admit that when he showed me around the freezer I could not take my eyes off of the door. It was baltic in there and I have seen too many films where it all ends badly in these situations.
The only disappointments about the tour were:
• no raspberry sauce waterfall,
• no trip on a flake canoe down a mint choc chip river,
• no ever lasting screwball ice cream, no fizzy lifting ice cream sodas,
• but worst of all, no Umpa Lumpas.
Still, as Charlie Bucket’s mother sang, ‘Cheer up Lamby…..’
After leaving the factory in the great glass ICREAM car we headed back to my uncle’s neighbourhood of Blackman’s Bay for a beer down by the beach.
After that, we got our gladrags on and went back to Salamanca to hit the town Lambert stylee.
I think John enjoyed his night out. He certainly drank like he did.
We spent most of our night in an Irish Bar, live music, good company and I don’t know about him, but I was smashed.
We headed home in the wee early hours and of course I chose the taxi with the crazy driver.
All I remember from the ride home was him telling me thatt he was former SAS and he could kill 6 men easily with his bare hands. The way he said it was so blasé, just sitting back in the chair and declaring “yeah, I was former SAS me”, “I can kill a man easy you know”.
You can easily kill a man because you are one of the fattest (not to mention ginger) men I have ever seen. Sit on them or eat them, you will kill them!
Nutter!!!
I awoke on Sunday in a very drunken state. John was up and about hammering a door – which wasn’t a welcome sound.
It was a sad start to the day as I found out that my hair doppelganger Winehouse had died.
Peace out to the Wino.
First order of the day was to get a fry up. We went to another beachside café and ate heartily. There I met some of John’s friends, including one guy who owns a 40ft yacht that they all go out on now and again and spend the day eating and drinking. I reckon that I will be returning in the summertime to have a day out on that!
The guy was also telling us about how his son was going to lose his virginity today and he wasn’t sure if he should drop some condoms around, just to be safe.
Apparently she was gagging for it!
I just ate my extra sausage, which I swapped with the mushrooms because I do not like them, and listened.
Sensing that I still wasn’t quite with it, John drove us up to the top of Mount Wellington. Wellington rises 1,271 metres above Hobart, which it built into its foothills. As it was another clear day the views were spectacular.
From up here you could see the shape of the land around the south of Tasmania, the waterways leading up into Hobart, the snowy capped mountains off to the north and oceans to the south.
I found it quite mesmerising knowing that the next land mass south of where I stood was Antarctica, the bottom of the world.
There was a lot of snow up there too, so much so that someone had built an igloo!
The only other thing worth mentioning about the mountain was that my stomach was in a bad way from the night before. We were in the observatory looking at the sights and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I am sorry to say that I had to let one go and it even shocked me.
I quickly moved away from the spot and left John where he was. All of sudden he looked up at me, with a look of pain on his face and asked if that was me. I couldn’t stop laughing at this point as he suggested that we get out of this room, and we left the other visitors to it.
As we drove down the mountain he told me to warn him if that was going to happen again that he could stop the car and I get out. This would ensure that we didn’t drive over the edge!
Our final sightseeing stop of this weekend was to MONA – the Museum of Old and New Art.
MONA is the largest private museum in the world and was built by some local mutli-millionaire professional gambler for $100m.
Apparently, the museum contains all of his own collection and he has so much that the exhibits change every 6 months.
The place is set in his own vineyard, has a shuttle boat that runs to and from Hobart, and is built into the rock, so you enter from the ceiling.
It also has an outdoor grass area that has a stage for concerts and Mick Jagger performed there for the grand opening.
It is an amazing place. As you enter, entry is free; you are given an i-phone which is your tour guide. So simple, yet so effective.
So to the exhibits, which were a wide ranging collection of oddities, artistic pieces and historical artifacts. My highlights were:
• A huge machine that drops water down from above to form words within the falling drops
• A wall containing 20 screens, each containing an individual dancing in silence before launching into the singing of Madonna’s greatest hits all at the same time
• A sarcophagus set in a private room that you have to walk over stepping stones to get to. Next to the sarcophagus is a replica of it where the image slowly clears to give you an x-ray of the skeleton of the Egyptian inside
Now the odd stuff:
• A video wall that showed various artistic visions of nudity – including one guy squatting over the camera and doing a poo!
• A painting of a 2 Aussie guys naked. One has his own castrated penis tied to his leg, the other is bloody and is being rimmed by a kangaroo – I have a photo of this to prove it
• A wall containing about 200 plaster casts of various vaginas – some of them were an absolute mess! Some needed a trim, some needed a trim in another way, and the one that was at an angle, well I think she is beyond help
• A machine that mimics the digestive system – it feeds at one end, goes through a series of pipes and processes and then does a poo at the back end. I couldn’t stay too long and study it as the smell in the room was horrendous
And that was my trip to Tasmania. It was a brilliantly diverse weekend and I will definitely be going back.
I have been invited back during the summer, which I would like to do, as I didn’t really see much of the rest of the island, which is supposed to be incredible.
Thanks a lot John, top weekend.
Weekend 2: Skiing at Mount Hotham
My second trip to the snow this Australian ski season saw me venture to Mount Hotham, one of Australia’s best ski resorts.
Myself, Arancha and Nadia (the sexy twins that I met in Nepal) drove up on the Thursday night to meet Natalie and her beau Stuey who had already travelled up earlier in the day.
Not much to say about the journey there except that when you are out in the countryside in Aus the stars just blow you away and we also had to stop halfway up the mountain to fit the wheel chains to the car as the ice was slip, slip, slippery!
We arrived at about 2am, so it was straight to bed to get some sleep before the ski action.
Friday morning saw me looking out of my window to see snow, snow and more snow. Over a metre of natural snowfall has been recorded so far this season on the mountain and it is one of the best seasons in years.
Our accommodation was based at the back of the best bar in Hotham, so this was ideal for breakfast and après ski beverages. The actual apartment itself was sweet as well. A 2 bedroom split level new build. All very plush.
We all got up, got ourselves sorted and headed over to the ski bus to take the 5 min ride into the centre of Hotham.
The conditions on both Friday and Saturday could not have been better. Clear blue skies, very sunny and great snow.
Hotham is a great resort, many different runs including some very challenging ones. The added bonus is that apart from the beginner and lower intermediate runs there is hardly anyone on them. At times over the weekend we found ourselves skiing on our own – bloody brilliant.
We all started off skiing / snow boarding together which was really good fun.
A little later on myself and Arancha went off on our own to tackle the advanced runs. In a previous post I stated what a good snowboarder Arancha is; she is fast and technically sound. I am fast and technically suicidal.
Both Nadia and Nat are technically good, but I do not think they will mind me saying that they are not as confident as Arancha, or as stupid as me.
So the rest of the day was spent on a number of black runs testing my nerve and thoroughly enjoying it.
I can’t say that I had any really bad falls on the first day, but Arancha was taken out hardcore by a fellow snowboarder. It is a good job that she recently invested in a helmet or else she would’ve been in trouble.
We managed to complete about 5 hours skiing on the Friday and I loved it. I will never tire of skiing down a mountain with those views. You feel like you are on the top of the world when you are stood there with the snowy peaks all around you, before launching yourself over the edge and down.
Obviously one of the best parts of skiing is the après ski. We all met up at about 4pm on the Friday and got on it.
The first bar was fine until the owner Dominic came to sit with us. He was nice enough, complimenting me on my hair (which was quite similar to his) and getting the shots in for us. However, he then got a little freaky and said he wanted to hug my hair and sleep top and tail with me so that we could then be cock to cock. No idea what that was all about? You have to at least get me drunk first my friend before you try it on.
The rest of the night was a boozy affair.
Saturday was a late start ski wise après le après ski of the night before. However, in terms of skiing, it was my best day technically. Like any sport, some days you are good, other days you just want to snap something in half through frustration.
Saturday was a good day. My skiing was sound and it all felt right. The only dark point was losing a race to Natalie.
I have no idea how I lost. I was ahead, I edged her out over towards the edge of the cliff and then she made some crazy maneuver and overtook me. From that point on we were on a relatively flat run and I couldn’t catch her.
I hold my head in shame, but to Natalie I say through gritted teeth, “Congrats Sister!”
Saturday also saw us all stick together for a fair while and follow Arancha – the mountain guide. Our guide took us off piste through trees and over mogul runs. I have to say that it was great fun and there is footage of me catching some air as I attempted a jump which I did manage to land!
To me it felt so high and the bang of the skis as I landed confirmed this. Watching it back on film I was broken to see that it was about 30cms off of the ground.
Myself and Arancha did still take the opportunity to get away and tackle some more of the demanding runs. I took a few falls, but the worst one was not actually falling but spinning 180 degrees and my legs splitting so wide that it felt as though I had torn my nut sack down the middle. Owwwww!
Saturday night was a quiet one so that we could rise early and get on the slopes for a good amount of time before we had to leave.
We awoke on Sunday to a whiteout ie. no visibility. I am not exaggerating when I say that we could only see about 5 metres in front of us.
As for the skiing, I loved it. It is very unnerving when someone sets off in front of you and within 2 seconds they have disappeared.
It’s even more unnerving when you are going down steep black runs with no idea if it is the right way and you have to just take it on faith that you are going the right way.
But most unnerving of all is leading your friends down the aptly named ‘Twilight Zone’ run and through the dense cloud realising that you are about to ski out into the abyss. On closer inspection it wasn’t quite a cliff edge, but a big enough drop to break me. It required a sharp left turn to get back on track.
However, I did take a very funny fall during my time in the cloudy wilderness. We were all going down a black run together and we slowed up to try and get our bearings. As I slowed to a halt I somehow managed to fall over onto my side and began to slide down the mountain. I would say that it was a good 30 seconds of sliding on my front, back, shoulders, doing 360’s, before I managed to dig my skis in and stop.
Arancha and Nadia found this hilarious.
By about 2:30pm it was time to leave the mountain and I had the honour driving us back down on the winding roads with zero visibility and back to Melbourne.
Overall, it was a fabulous weekend and I can’t wait to get onto the slopes again. I am thinking Canada.
So that’s all folks.
Next trip away is to Philip Island in about 4 weeks time to see the resident penguins.
Until then, cheerio and keep searching for those Valhalla golden tickets so you too can get the tour!
The past two weekends have seen my travels get back on track, even if it is only for the short term.
As for the rest of my time it has been the usual work, football and drinking, so no need for an update on that, except to say that I am still not getting on with the referees over here.
In my last match I received a couple of verbal assaults on the senses and an eventual booking for my attitude towards the ref. I was also informed after the match that some spectators thought that “it was about time that the he got booked as he has been mouthing off all game”.
My response is if they can’t control a match to the standard expected in England, then don’t do it at all!
Apart from that, I am still really enjoying playing the beautiful game, which I am determined not to ever call soccer!!!
Since my last post it has also been the birthdays of my mother, Suzy ‘The Suze’ Lambert, and my little sis, Beck ‘I can’t really call this a job can I?’ Lambert.
Once again, Happy Birthday to you both.
Beck, was that the best card ever, or what?
Did you know that on your birthday Skype declares your age for everyone to see with a sentence of ‘such and such is xx today!’
The Suze was not best pleased about this when I called her.
Don’t worry mum, you don’t look a day over retirement age.
Anyway, back to my past two weekends.
Weekend 1: Tasmania
I flew over to Tasmania on the Friday evening after work and landed at about 8pm after a very easy 1 hour flight.
I was met at the airport by my uncle John, who looked exactly the same at the last time I saw him 10 years previously, except for a few more grey hairs.
I mentioned previously that he owns an ice cream factory in Hobart that supplies ice cream to most of Tasmania and is currently breaking through into mainland Australia. If I had forgotten there was no getting away from this fact when I saw his car.
The number plate is ‘ICREAM’.
Yes it looks like ICE CREAM but to me it also tells me about his and every other bloke’s private habits!
I am not sure what he really thought about that.
From the airport we went into the centre of Hobart, to the Salamanca area of the city for some food.
Salamanca is one of the main restaurant and bar areas of Hobart and is based around the harbour. The architecture really gives off the impression of an old English town apart from the fact that it is on completely the opposite side of the world.
After eating a very, very good steak we retired to my uncle’s ‘humble’ abode for a few more drinks and a catch up.
I awoke early the next morning to a stunning view over the gardens of my uncle’s crib and down to the ocean on a sunny but seriously chilly Tasmanian Saturday.
John’s house is pretty sweet. It looks a combination of a church and a colonial style house from the past. The ceilings are high, the rooms are spacious, and the sun shining through the many stained glass windows gives the interior a feel of being inside a rainbow, which is quite disorientating when it’s early and you have had a few drinks the night before.
The gardens are also lovely, a nice lawn (I am English, so by default I love a lawn of grass), an area where a combination of fruit trees geow and a converted stone barn which gives extra living quarters. With the view of the ocean beyond, it makes for an amazing setting.
After watching some of the breaking news about the Norway attacks we ventured back down to Salamanca to take in the Saturday market and to get some breakfast.
In the bright sunshine and 0 degree morning, the harbour looked very picturesque apart from a vintage crane from yesteryear sitting by the dockside. Imagine my surprise when John showed me the plaque on the side of it that said it was all the way from Leicester, our home city!
After breakfast John took us on a road trip through the Tasmanian countryside to a little, and I mean little, village in the middle on nowhere. The village was called Campania and is allegedly the birthplace of my great grandfather and is as far back as we can trace the origins of our Lamberts.
I found it quite special to be there to pay homage to the ancestors. I had the obligatory photo taken under the Campania sign.
As we left I started to hum a song that it still in my head today and is driving me crazy. To the tune of Peter Andre’s classic ‘Insania’, ‘do do do do doooo, do do do do doooo, it’s Campania!’
Aaaaggggghhhhhh!
From there we headed back to Hobart through another small town called Richmond. Richmond is the sight of a famous sandstone bridge that was built by the convicts and was completed in 1825.
There’s nothing to say that after the completion of this bridge that it was then that the ancestors settled in Campania!! Who knows?
Richmond also houses one of my uncle’s best ice cream customers. He wanted to have a little look in the shop so we went in and I was there to witness him buy his first ever ice cream from his own company. I got a lemon and lime scoop with a cornet.
This was turning out to be a great day!
Once back in Hobart we went to check out one of the top footy teams who were playing. We timed our arrival perfectly, a goal straight away and then the final whistle 2 minutes later.
I then got my tour of the Valhalla Ice Cream factory.
As we entered through the minature door, my uncle sang ‘come with me and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination’.
He didn’t really, but I so wish he had.
Listening to my uncle explain what goes on, what the business was like when he bought it, what investment he has had to make and where the business is now, left me a little awe struck. This is all the more impressive as even though he is a very successful business man he specialises in fashion and clothing, not making bloody ice cream. But then a business is a business I guess.
I have to admit that when he showed me around the freezer I could not take my eyes off of the door. It was baltic in there and I have seen too many films where it all ends badly in these situations.
The only disappointments about the tour were:
• no raspberry sauce waterfall,
• no trip on a flake canoe down a mint choc chip river,
• no ever lasting screwball ice cream, no fizzy lifting ice cream sodas,
• but worst of all, no Umpa Lumpas.
Still, as Charlie Bucket’s mother sang, ‘Cheer up Lamby…..’
After leaving the factory in the great glass ICREAM car we headed back to my uncle’s neighbourhood of Blackman’s Bay for a beer down by the beach.
After that, we got our gladrags on and went back to Salamanca to hit the town Lambert stylee.
I think John enjoyed his night out. He certainly drank like he did.
We spent most of our night in an Irish Bar, live music, good company and I don’t know about him, but I was smashed.
We headed home in the wee early hours and of course I chose the taxi with the crazy driver.
All I remember from the ride home was him telling me thatt he was former SAS and he could kill 6 men easily with his bare hands. The way he said it was so blasé, just sitting back in the chair and declaring “yeah, I was former SAS me”, “I can kill a man easy you know”.
You can easily kill a man because you are one of the fattest (not to mention ginger) men I have ever seen. Sit on them or eat them, you will kill them!
Nutter!!!
I awoke on Sunday in a very drunken state. John was up and about hammering a door – which wasn’t a welcome sound.
It was a sad start to the day as I found out that my hair doppelganger Winehouse had died.
Peace out to the Wino.
First order of the day was to get a fry up. We went to another beachside café and ate heartily. There I met some of John’s friends, including one guy who owns a 40ft yacht that they all go out on now and again and spend the day eating and drinking. I reckon that I will be returning in the summertime to have a day out on that!
The guy was also telling us about how his son was going to lose his virginity today and he wasn’t sure if he should drop some condoms around, just to be safe.
Apparently she was gagging for it!
I just ate my extra sausage, which I swapped with the mushrooms because I do not like them, and listened.
Sensing that I still wasn’t quite with it, John drove us up to the top of Mount Wellington. Wellington rises 1,271 metres above Hobart, which it built into its foothills. As it was another clear day the views were spectacular.
From up here you could see the shape of the land around the south of Tasmania, the waterways leading up into Hobart, the snowy capped mountains off to the north and oceans to the south.
I found it quite mesmerising knowing that the next land mass south of where I stood was Antarctica, the bottom of the world.
There was a lot of snow up there too, so much so that someone had built an igloo!
The only other thing worth mentioning about the mountain was that my stomach was in a bad way from the night before. We were in the observatory looking at the sights and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I am sorry to say that I had to let one go and it even shocked me.
I quickly moved away from the spot and left John where he was. All of sudden he looked up at me, with a look of pain on his face and asked if that was me. I couldn’t stop laughing at this point as he suggested that we get out of this room, and we left the other visitors to it.
As we drove down the mountain he told me to warn him if that was going to happen again that he could stop the car and I get out. This would ensure that we didn’t drive over the edge!
Our final sightseeing stop of this weekend was to MONA – the Museum of Old and New Art.
MONA is the largest private museum in the world and was built by some local mutli-millionaire professional gambler for $100m.
Apparently, the museum contains all of his own collection and he has so much that the exhibits change every 6 months.
The place is set in his own vineyard, has a shuttle boat that runs to and from Hobart, and is built into the rock, so you enter from the ceiling.
It also has an outdoor grass area that has a stage for concerts and Mick Jagger performed there for the grand opening.
It is an amazing place. As you enter, entry is free; you are given an i-phone which is your tour guide. So simple, yet so effective.
So to the exhibits, which were a wide ranging collection of oddities, artistic pieces and historical artifacts. My highlights were:
• A huge machine that drops water down from above to form words within the falling drops
• A wall containing 20 screens, each containing an individual dancing in silence before launching into the singing of Madonna’s greatest hits all at the same time
• A sarcophagus set in a private room that you have to walk over stepping stones to get to. Next to the sarcophagus is a replica of it where the image slowly clears to give you an x-ray of the skeleton of the Egyptian inside
Now the odd stuff:
• A video wall that showed various artistic visions of nudity – including one guy squatting over the camera and doing a poo!
• A painting of a 2 Aussie guys naked. One has his own castrated penis tied to his leg, the other is bloody and is being rimmed by a kangaroo – I have a photo of this to prove it
• A wall containing about 200 plaster casts of various vaginas – some of them were an absolute mess! Some needed a trim, some needed a trim in another way, and the one that was at an angle, well I think she is beyond help
• A machine that mimics the digestive system – it feeds at one end, goes through a series of pipes and processes and then does a poo at the back end. I couldn’t stay too long and study it as the smell in the room was horrendous
And that was my trip to Tasmania. It was a brilliantly diverse weekend and I will definitely be going back.
I have been invited back during the summer, which I would like to do, as I didn’t really see much of the rest of the island, which is supposed to be incredible.
Thanks a lot John, top weekend.
Weekend 2: Skiing at Mount Hotham
My second trip to the snow this Australian ski season saw me venture to Mount Hotham, one of Australia’s best ski resorts.
Myself, Arancha and Nadia (the sexy twins that I met in Nepal) drove up on the Thursday night to meet Natalie and her beau Stuey who had already travelled up earlier in the day.
Not much to say about the journey there except that when you are out in the countryside in Aus the stars just blow you away and we also had to stop halfway up the mountain to fit the wheel chains to the car as the ice was slip, slip, slippery!
We arrived at about 2am, so it was straight to bed to get some sleep before the ski action.
Friday morning saw me looking out of my window to see snow, snow and more snow. Over a metre of natural snowfall has been recorded so far this season on the mountain and it is one of the best seasons in years.
Our accommodation was based at the back of the best bar in Hotham, so this was ideal for breakfast and après ski beverages. The actual apartment itself was sweet as well. A 2 bedroom split level new build. All very plush.
We all got up, got ourselves sorted and headed over to the ski bus to take the 5 min ride into the centre of Hotham.
The conditions on both Friday and Saturday could not have been better. Clear blue skies, very sunny and great snow.
Hotham is a great resort, many different runs including some very challenging ones. The added bonus is that apart from the beginner and lower intermediate runs there is hardly anyone on them. At times over the weekend we found ourselves skiing on our own – bloody brilliant.
We all started off skiing / snow boarding together which was really good fun.
A little later on myself and Arancha went off on our own to tackle the advanced runs. In a previous post I stated what a good snowboarder Arancha is; she is fast and technically sound. I am fast and technically suicidal.
Both Nadia and Nat are technically good, but I do not think they will mind me saying that they are not as confident as Arancha, or as stupid as me.
So the rest of the day was spent on a number of black runs testing my nerve and thoroughly enjoying it.
I can’t say that I had any really bad falls on the first day, but Arancha was taken out hardcore by a fellow snowboarder. It is a good job that she recently invested in a helmet or else she would’ve been in trouble.
We managed to complete about 5 hours skiing on the Friday and I loved it. I will never tire of skiing down a mountain with those views. You feel like you are on the top of the world when you are stood there with the snowy peaks all around you, before launching yourself over the edge and down.
Obviously one of the best parts of skiing is the après ski. We all met up at about 4pm on the Friday and got on it.
The first bar was fine until the owner Dominic came to sit with us. He was nice enough, complimenting me on my hair (which was quite similar to his) and getting the shots in for us. However, he then got a little freaky and said he wanted to hug my hair and sleep top and tail with me so that we could then be cock to cock. No idea what that was all about? You have to at least get me drunk first my friend before you try it on.
The rest of the night was a boozy affair.
Saturday was a late start ski wise après le après ski of the night before. However, in terms of skiing, it was my best day technically. Like any sport, some days you are good, other days you just want to snap something in half through frustration.
Saturday was a good day. My skiing was sound and it all felt right. The only dark point was losing a race to Natalie.
I have no idea how I lost. I was ahead, I edged her out over towards the edge of the cliff and then she made some crazy maneuver and overtook me. From that point on we were on a relatively flat run and I couldn’t catch her.
I hold my head in shame, but to Natalie I say through gritted teeth, “Congrats Sister!”
Saturday also saw us all stick together for a fair while and follow Arancha – the mountain guide. Our guide took us off piste through trees and over mogul runs. I have to say that it was great fun and there is footage of me catching some air as I attempted a jump which I did manage to land!
To me it felt so high and the bang of the skis as I landed confirmed this. Watching it back on film I was broken to see that it was about 30cms off of the ground.
Myself and Arancha did still take the opportunity to get away and tackle some more of the demanding runs. I took a few falls, but the worst one was not actually falling but spinning 180 degrees and my legs splitting so wide that it felt as though I had torn my nut sack down the middle. Owwwww!
Saturday night was a quiet one so that we could rise early and get on the slopes for a good amount of time before we had to leave.
We awoke on Sunday to a whiteout ie. no visibility. I am not exaggerating when I say that we could only see about 5 metres in front of us.
As for the skiing, I loved it. It is very unnerving when someone sets off in front of you and within 2 seconds they have disappeared.
It’s even more unnerving when you are going down steep black runs with no idea if it is the right way and you have to just take it on faith that you are going the right way.
But most unnerving of all is leading your friends down the aptly named ‘Twilight Zone’ run and through the dense cloud realising that you are about to ski out into the abyss. On closer inspection it wasn’t quite a cliff edge, but a big enough drop to break me. It required a sharp left turn to get back on track.
However, I did take a very funny fall during my time in the cloudy wilderness. We were all going down a black run together and we slowed up to try and get our bearings. As I slowed to a halt I somehow managed to fall over onto my side and began to slide down the mountain. I would say that it was a good 30 seconds of sliding on my front, back, shoulders, doing 360’s, before I managed to dig my skis in and stop.
Arancha and Nadia found this hilarious.
By about 2:30pm it was time to leave the mountain and I had the honour driving us back down on the winding roads with zero visibility and back to Melbourne.
Overall, it was a fabulous weekend and I can’t wait to get onto the slopes again. I am thinking Canada.
So that’s all folks.
Next trip away is to Philip Island in about 4 weeks time to see the resident penguins.
Until then, cheerio and keep searching for those Valhalla golden tickets so you too can get the tour!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)